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I own a good chin to lift a look that threatens from a distance. The shield I never thought I’d get in the mail is here, name written on it and everything. So I walk out, shield up, and yet I shiver if I only get a hint of A scent, reminding me of someone who ****** me with no permission. Sometimes, I forget the amount of my anger But, if it bares meaning, I understand it. Not only mine, the anger of many women, who woke up in someone’s bed, and left there smelling of a body they didn’t choose to smell of. Don’t tell me I should’ve said “No.” Because sometimes the mouth doesn’t listen to the body, body doesn’t listen to the brain, the brain is not aware that six years later you’ll be sobbing with the realization that you’re afraid of the man you trust most of all because he produces testosterone. Six years ago, it happened too fast. I didn’t say  “No.” He didn’t give me time to do it. As I was leaving, eyes clenched to my feet I let him kiss me and say: “I hope you don’t regret this night.” That’s what makes me the angriest.
0
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 3:24 AM UTC
The reason I didn’t say “No.”
I own a good chin to lift a look that threatens from a distance. The shield I never thought I’d get in the mail is here, name written on it and everything. So I walk out, shield up, and yet I shiver if I only get a hint of A scent, reminding me of someone who ****** me with no permission. Sometimes, I forget the amount of my anger But, if it bares meaning, I understand it. Not only mine, the anger of many women, who woke up in someone’s bed, and left there smelling of a body they didn’t choose to smell of. Don’t tell me I should’ve said “No.” Because sometimes the mouth doesn’t listen to the body, body doesn’t listen to the brain, the brain is not aware that six years later you’ll be sobbing with the realization that you’re afraid of the man you trust most of all because he produces testosterone. Six years ago, it happened too fast. I didn’t say  “No.” He didn’t give me time to do it. As I was leaving, eyes clenched to my feet I let him kiss me and say: “I hope you don’t regret this night.” That’s what makes me the angriest.
Well, this is pretty personal, as you can see.
emilija
Written by
30/Non-binary/Macedonian
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 3:24 AM UTC
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