So here I am again, I don’t know why it won’t stop. I don’t know why I am the way I am. I can’t communicate with others because I fear them. My deepest thoughts would make someone go crazy. I can’t open up to my husband because I’m ashamed of the way I feel everyday. I’m a big failure, and it’s eating me up inside. It’s starting to take a toll on me and I’m letting it. What can i do ? I can’t even help myself, how can I expect someone else to do it for me. I’m not even trying. I don’t think this life was meant for me. I thought I was strong enough. I’m failing you mama. I know how much you love me, how much you care and want me to succeed and i truly wanna make you happy. But seriously this life is not for me. I’m a disgrace. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m drowning. I am literally in the middle of the ocean, not even trying to find a way because it would be pointless. I’m tied up in chains on both feet and I’m sinking. I’m alone, all alone. I’m sorry but the only way for me to live is to die. That almost sounds like a suicidal note but believe me it’s not. There’s no way out of it. I’m choosing to end it so it could start. I wasn’t meant for this and you knew it mama!
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 10:44 AM UTC
So here I am again, I don’t know why it won’t stop. I don’t know why I am the way I am. I can’t communicate with others because I fear them. My deepest thoughts would make someone go crazy. I can’t open up to my husband because I’m ashamed of the way I feel everyday. I’m a big failure, and it’s eating me up inside. It’s starting to take a toll on me and I’m letting it. What can i do ? I can’t even help myself, how can I expect someone else to do it for me. I’m not even trying. I don’t think this life was meant for me. I thought I was strong enough. I’m failing you mama. I know how much you love me, how much you care and want me to succeed and i truly wanna make you happy. But seriously this life is not for me. I’m a disgrace. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m drowning. I am literally in the middle of the ocean, not even trying to find a way because it would be pointless. I’m tied up in chains on both feet and I’m sinking. I’m alone, all alone. I’m sorry but the only way for me to live is to die. That almost sounds like a suicidal note but believe me it’s not. There’s no way out of it. I’m choosing to end it so it could start. I wasn’t meant for this and you knew it mama!
This is not a suicidal note. It was written years ago by someone who was hurting
Request permission to use this poem