I
am
******
and not in a clawing flesh, body convulsing, banging headboard kind of way
that kind of ****** I can rock the **** out of.
No
I am more the
twisted mess of forced misconception
enlightened by time innocence forgot
forced into a life guided by trust in the lies truth told
Yeah,
it's the end of life as I know it
that's the kind of ****** I am
I knew joy
it was based on trust in what was true
I knew love
it was built on that same foundation
So yes,
I am ******
this mess of **** crumbling to pebbles while blinding me in the dust of my own ignorance
is anything but blissful
and all I hear are the cries of beautiful dying
not that dying is beautiful, though it can be
but of the death of beautiful things
of things I found implicitly lovely
the painful dying of all I believed was good
I am so ****** sideways
protected by others
I can no longer say for certain who I am
or who I believe myself to be
****** hard and unrecognizable
***** into truth by the kindness of others
No more questions because I am ****** that way too
no one wants to hear their old news and ***** laundry
I knew love once
now all I love, I question
reliving my choices in reasons why
trying to piece together my life had I always known
trying to define how I love by my own definitions
and not by what I knew love to be
because that love never existed
only in my ****** shattered memory
So, hey
guess what
I used to love you
now it's tainted with yesterday's **** streaks
I'm still me
But boy
am I ******
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 8:50 PM UTC
I
am
******
and not in a clawing flesh, body convulsing, banging headboard kind of way
that kind of ****** I can rock the **** out of.
No
I am more the
twisted mess of forced misconception
enlightened by time innocence forgot
forced into a life guided by trust in the lies truth told
Yeah,
it's the end of life as I know it
that's the kind of ****** I am
I knew joy
it was based on trust in what was true
I knew love
it was built on that same foundation
So yes,
I am ******
this mess of **** crumbling to pebbles while blinding me in the dust of my own ignorance
is anything but blissful
and all I hear are the cries of beautiful dying
not that dying is beautiful, though it can be
but of the death of beautiful things
of things I found implicitly lovely
the painful dying of all I believed was good
I am so ****** sideways
protected by others
I can no longer say for certain who I am
or who I believe myself to be
****** hard and unrecognizable
***** into truth by the kindness of others
No more questions because I am ****** that way too
no one wants to hear their old news and ***** laundry
I knew love once
now all I love, I question
reliving my choices in reasons why
trying to piece together my life had I always known
trying to define how I love by my own definitions
and not by what I knew love to be
because that love never existed
only in my ****** shattered memory
So, hey
guess what
I used to love you
now it's tainted with yesterday's **** streaks
I'm still me
But boy
am I ******
41718
298w
Voice clip:. https://drive.google.com/file/d/14k4Lbkm4_S8z9zfBWmKe0Fyu2SlHT1x9/view?usp=drivesdk
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