In silence we agree
that someday we will be
finding ourselves South Bound.
In recent days I’ve found
this city to be suffocating.
We need something invigorating.
Though when we talk aloud
about being south bound
I notice that it mostly seems
like we are sharing only dreams.
And so in silence we agree
That someday we will be

jamie-dunlap

South Bound

Jun 5, 2026

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sander-gaia-blome

I like the genral idea of "South Bound."  both in upper case and in lower case 'south bound" works on more than one level.  I wish some punctuation were included to help me read the poem.  Thanks.

View this as paradox. You go south bound so long til' you are back where you started. 

cory-childs

Perplexin'!  
Can two people agree without knowing they agree?  The first line sort of hinges on that; either we know we agree but don't speak of it or we are unaware of the shared viewpoint.  If I relate it to the last line, however, I see that being south bound (though lower case'd) is something we discuss.  So, what is South Bound?
South could be referring to a location on the globe, a location relative to an individual, down (like on a map compass), or something else I haven't thought of.  Bound could be a destination we are on our way to (which makes sense when related with south) or something that we are "stuck" to via obligation, force, etc.  Whatever it is, it is a place we will "find ourselves" at.  Perhaps a location we arrive at, perhaps a location where we discover ourselves, perhaps both.  Whatever it means to be South Bound, it doesn't seem like a bad thing; the alternative seems to be suffocating in a city with a lack of invigoration and whoever is agreeing in this poem seems to be looking forward to it.
Talking about South Bound seems to cheapen it (oh no what am I doing?!), as when we openly discuss it we are, for the most part (maybe I can include myself in the small percentage that is not), sharing something that is merely fantasy, though an alluring one.  The "Though" makes me think that South Bound only seems to have this unrealistic quality when it is openly discussed, though only for the most part and only "seemingly".  It being lower cased here emphasizes that point.
I really like the last couplet.  It is a strong closing that gives the beginning a new emphasis and interpretation.  So, does this mean that we are not being?  If I'm to relate it to the rest of the poem, does this mean that being not-South Bound is not even being?  I may be taking the wrong information here.
What is south bound?  Why does talking about it cheapen it?  Is that reason why we choose to stay in silence regarding it?
I keep wanting to imagine south bound as Alabama...  It's the contrast with the stifling city that does it for me.  Perhaps this is speaking about a longing to technologically regress?  The city is a cultural icon; to you it suffocates (if you are alluding to pollution, that would be awesome) and denies invigoration.  Are our advancements destroying ourselves and the environment?  If this was the case, I can see why it would be frowned upon to be openly anti-progressive industry in our capitalist culture and one would have to keep silent, but this idea doesn't sync up with how talking about it makes it less real.
Maybe you just want a vacation?  Haha.
Overall, the form and flow work well.  By the way, I think a line break serves the purpose of a pause sufficiently.  Careful of letting others change your work to suit themselves...  You did basically alter your art because somebody with a bad sense of grammar wanted you to change your grammar.
I am still left wondering about south bound.  The closest I can come to making sense of it is a want to get back to nature to feel alive again.  I included my line of reasoning to show how your words led MY mind, which has its own subjective wants and ideas.  I may be retarded.

kim-keith

I'll start with likes and then get to the critique:  I like the mood that you've set in this poem,  I love that so much implication is packed into such a small space, and I really, really like the repetition since I think it serves the piece with an endless feeling.

I also like the couplet style here, but it almost feels like the poem is ruled by the rhyme and for that, the rhyme doesn't serve the poem.  The line breaks are governed by the rhyme, not the choice of the most powerful words to the message--especially the first words of a line (they are all articles and prepositions).  The first and last word of lines are incredibly important since these are the most notable parts of a poem for a reader.

I also feel that the poem could do with some imagery.  There are very few devices in this poem (personification of the city, assonance, and repetition).  The repetition is a very wonderful aspect of this poem and makes everything come full circle--I almost would suggest looking into reworking this into a pantoum for that very reason.

I was going to comment on the unevenness of the punctuation at the end until I read in another post that the missing punctuation on the last line is intentional.  I would strongly advise against that--uneven punctuation is usually read as a mistake by critics, lit journals, and even readers (like grammar nut cases--I'm one of them).  I'm pretty sure that your intention is to leave the poem open-ended to the repetitious nature, to make it clear that the pattern just keeps going.  This comes across without the lack of punctuation.  There is also a way to make that effect without end stop punctuation: a hyphen or semi-colon.  The first is usually read as an elongated pause, and in this case would show the implication of the repeated line and that more follows, yet was not written.  The second is sometimes considered end stop, but in this case would still imply going on because of the comma part of the punctuation.

One other suggestion:  the verbs are very flat--agree, be finding, need, talk, being, notice, are sharing.  These are all very common verbs and just altering a few of them to something a little less beaten to death would give a little more movement.

Overall, you have a good poem here.  But after reading some of your work, I know that you have a definite gift with words and good is just that.  Just good.

I hope that I've been of help to you in your rewrite.  If I can ever help out, just holler.

removed.-yer8

The picture you've painted is lovely, so lovely.