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sam9wPoems
your identity of claim wasn't intentional - it just was. you were the wind behind the open door and the fastened clip of the safety belt and the doormat to wipe shoes on and just hidden in the shadows. the girl in the background. the shadows were lonely. dark. frigidly cold. (and safe.) alone = isolation = solitude = (no one to break your heart) (no one's heart to break) -- the girl in the background started to fade away between blackened flashes (headaches and near-faint dizziness) failing sanity (misery) and helplessness (the sudden complete inability to smile) to a more visible color hovering at the stage left edge. -- your friends found you. walked with you the week you couldn't smile. let you hide in shelters of too-long hugs (until your heartbeat slowed to match the steadier beat and you started believing in the idea of not being alone.) held your newly-trembling hands steady. gave you commiserating smiles and stories. talked you down from the overwhelming terror. dragged you bit by bit further away from the shadows. -- the girl in the background disappears around the time you start saying back words like "I love you" to people who will undeniably leave you. to people without the tie of blood-relation because they have earned your trust and someday is always too late. -- the girl in the background never had anyone to rely on -- you wake up to everything three weeks starved of your lifelines of beating hearts half a step away from the spotlight the girl who doesn't quite stay silent (not anymore). -- people expect you to say things, now. expect you to be calm and speak. (words tangle amidst languages, get lost between one synonym and another and another.) you stay quiet, and you know the hurt you see flash across is not a product of your imagination. (you miss it, a little. being the girl in the background.) -- deadlines loom above your head, T minus 5 months After that: gone. -- you'll miss them. as things are progressing at the moment, they'll miss you. if you could do it, though, fade back to black (lonely distant shadows) they might forget. (forget you.) it would hurt them less, in the long run. -- (the girl in the background starts to make her comeback.)
0
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
girl in the background
your identity of claim wasn't intentional - it just was. you were the wind behind the open door and the fastened clip of the safety belt and the doormat to wipe shoes on and just hidden in the shadows. the girl in the background. the shadows were lonely. dark. frigidly cold. (and safe.) alone = isolation = solitude = (no one to break your heart) (no one's heart to break) -- the girl in the background started to fade away between blackened flashes (headaches and near-faint dizziness) failing sanity (misery) and helplessness (the sudden complete inability to smile) to a more visible color hovering at the stage left edge. -- your friends found you. walked with you the week you couldn't smile. let you hide in shelters of too-long hugs (until your heartbeat slowed to match the steadier beat and you started believing in the idea of not being alone.) held your newly-trembling hands steady. gave you commiserating smiles and stories. talked you down from the overwhelming terror. dragged you bit by bit further away from the shadows. -- the girl in the background disappears around the time you start saying back words like "I love you" to people who will undeniably leave you. to people without the tie of blood-relation because they have earned your trust and someday is always too late. -- the girl in the background never had anyone to rely on -- you wake up to everything three weeks starved of your lifelines of beating hearts half a step away from the spotlight the girl who doesn't quite stay silent (not anymore). -- people expect you to say things, now. expect you to be calm and speak. (words tangle amidst languages, get lost between one synonym and another and another.) you stay quiet, and you know the hurt you see flash across is not a product of your imagination. (you miss it, a little. being the girl in the background.) -- deadlines loom above your head, T minus 5 months After that: gone. -- you'll miss them. as things are progressing at the moment, they'll miss you. if you could do it, though, fade back to black (lonely distant shadows) they might forget. (forget you.) it would hurt them less, in the long run. -- (the girl in the background starts to make her comeback.)
Written by
sam9w
Tokyo, Japan
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
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