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I've come so far. 3 years ago I had everything. I was becoming everything. Right with him by my side. 2 years ago I thought I did. But I acquired pain & loneliness. With him by my side, becoming my undoing. 1 year ago I started over with nothing. I'm ambidextrous. I've re-invented myself--it took time. My healed heart chose not to sacrifice my self-worth for just anyone. After healing came acceptance. Acceptance that I stutter, constantly at a loss over words & phrases that used to come so easy. Those three little words used to leave my mouth faster than uncontrolled laughter. I once thought myself ambidextrous. But it turns out I am not. My emotions are like frayed nerves, afferent only, no expression. Regret is soon to follow--whether from facing rejection or holding it in I don't know. You scare me. And the fact that you might not be "just anyone." And the fact that I might be "just anyone" to you? Scares me. Turns out I've found quite the worthy opponent in dancing around the subject...
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Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC
Hesitating butterflies 1.7.18
I've come so far. 3 years ago I had everything. I was becoming everything. Right with him by my side. 2 years ago I thought I did. But I acquired pain & loneliness. With him by my side, becoming my undoing. 1 year ago I started over with nothing. I'm ambidextrous. I've re-invented myself--it took time. My healed heart chose not to sacrifice my self-worth for just anyone. After healing came acceptance. Acceptance that I stutter, constantly at a loss over words & phrases that used to come so easy. Those three little words used to leave my mouth faster than uncontrolled laughter. I once thought myself ambidextrous. But it turns out I am not. My emotions are like frayed nerves, afferent only, no expression. Regret is soon to follow--whether from facing rejection or holding it in I don't know. You scare me. And the fact that you might not be "just anyone." And the fact that I might be "just anyone" to you? Scares me. Turns out I've found quite the worthy opponent in dancing around the subject...
Snizzlefish
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Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC
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