I had finally broke through on a small scale the words were selling .
I found less and less reason to find outside jobs to support myself anymore I drank as I pleased and slept in late .
I was amongst a few but we seldom if ever crossed paths .
We knew we existed but when you step from the playground to the battlefield there is a change that comes over you I cannot explain unless you are there .
People became less and less a concern of mine .
Those I gave a **** about had either died or left long ago.
To gain anything you must be willing to lose everything .
The person you once were must die .
Maybe some found it easy .
They scribbled some words down found a fool to publish it and struck gold .
But fairy tales weren't my style and I had reached the finish line empty and broken .
But I had reached the ************ ! , And that is all that truly matters .
I thought of those that doubted me .
I thought of the women with whom had shared my bed .
Most thought I was insane and for some that is what drew them to me .
That drive was always there .
I remember sitting in the dark with one such woman .
"Even when your happy you seem so deeply sad inside ".
She said to me her head on the pillow .
As we looked into one another's eyes.
"I'm always thinking sweetheart it's just my nature'.
"Please just be happy baby everything is going to work out I promise ".
We kissed she laid her head on my chest and drifted off to sleep as I counted the demons of my past in the shadows .
They lingered like smoke rings in the air.
I knew are paths were destined to part .
Promises are for fool hearted children not bitter old men as I.
She found another and I found my place amongst those who grasped what few ever could .
We were guarded to others .
Insane to many for we chased a illusion and turned it into our existence .
It was a scene of emptiness and regrets we erased from the simple readers view .
And as for me I bleed the truths of my past upon every page making it seem like art fooling everyone but myself.
It was a fight to remain afloat yet I swam with the sharks and thrived amongst the few .
I gave up everything that ever mattered to me.
And was a stranger now to even my oldest friends .
We were are killers for we had stepped on anyone who dared get in the way .
Never believe me to be the victim for I made my choices and now
I sit at the table eager to reap its rewards .
It's never a gift it's work plain and simple .
You clock in bleed your soul and bust your *** .
learn to smile at rejections and keep moving no matter how many times they try to break you.
What was once a child's escape is now a fulltime hell.
And I paid my dues in blood and heartache followed by vices that continue to consume me daily .
When you find yourself here, If this is truly for you remember as you ache from the pains of a life lived and a heart shattered not to mention a mind just a shock treatment away from the asylum .
You wanted this.
The view is never the same from murders row .
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 10:11 AM UTC
I had finally broke through on a small scale the words were selling .
I found less and less reason to find outside jobs to support myself anymore I drank as I pleased and slept in late .
I was amongst a few but we seldom if ever crossed paths .
We knew we existed but when you step from the playground to the battlefield there is a change that comes over you I cannot explain unless you are there .
People became less and less a concern of mine .
Those I gave a **** about had either died or left long ago.
To gain anything you must be willing to lose everything .
The person you once were must die .
Maybe some found it easy .
They scribbled some words down found a fool to publish it and struck gold .
But fairy tales weren't my style and I had reached the finish line empty and broken .
But I had reached the ************ ! , And that is all that truly matters .
I thought of those that doubted me .
I thought of the women with whom had shared my bed .
Most thought I was insane and for some that is what drew them to me .
That drive was always there .
I remember sitting in the dark with one such woman .
"Even when your happy you seem so deeply sad inside ".
She said to me her head on the pillow .
As we looked into one another's eyes.
"I'm always thinking sweetheart it's just my nature'.
"Please just be happy baby everything is going to work out I promise ".
We kissed she laid her head on my chest and drifted off to sleep as I counted the demons of my past in the shadows .
They lingered like smoke rings in the air.
I knew are paths were destined to part .
Promises are for fool hearted children not bitter old men as I.
She found another and I found my place amongst those who grasped what few ever could .
We were guarded to others .
Insane to many for we chased a illusion and turned it into our existence .
It was a scene of emptiness and regrets we erased from the simple readers view .
And as for me I bleed the truths of my past upon every page making it seem like art fooling everyone but myself.
It was a fight to remain afloat yet I swam with the sharks and thrived amongst the few .
I gave up everything that ever mattered to me.
And was a stranger now to even my oldest friends .
We were are killers for we had stepped on anyone who dared get in the way .
Never believe me to be the victim for I made my choices and now
I sit at the table eager to reap its rewards .
It's never a gift it's work plain and simple .
You clock in bleed your soul and bust your *** .
learn to smile at rejections and keep moving no matter how many times they try to break you.
What was once a child's escape is now a fulltime hell.
And I paid my dues in blood and heartache followed by vices that continue to consume me daily .
When you find yourself here, If this is truly for you remember as you ache from the pains of a life lived and a heart shattered not to mention a mind just a shock treatment away from the asylum .
You wanted this.
The view is never the same from murders row .
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