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cmaldecoaPoems
I’m scribbling this numb. Very, inexplicably, numb. there’s a frigid draft coming in from my window, and, at this moment, I feel that if i were not bound by endless expectations and worldly aspirations, I would probably go with the breeze and leap from the third floor. praying that I land on the ground hard enough to wake myself up. I’m scribbling this worried. Very, knowingly, worried. there’s a reoccuring dream, every other day. when I am knee deep in my poison, diving into glass shards and trophy caps. an array of chanting. I am the reigning queen, of, Nothing. and, here I am. Up to my neck in caps, swimming in remains, on the third floor, ready to wake myself up again. Three…. Two… One… Wait, how did I end up back in my bed?
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Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 1:55 AM UTC
The System
I’m scribbling this numb. Very, inexplicably, numb. there’s a frigid draft coming in from my window, and, at this moment, I feel that if i were not bound by endless expectations and worldly aspirations, I would probably go with the breeze and leap from the third floor. praying that I land on the ground hard enough to wake myself up. I’m scribbling this worried. Very, knowingly, worried. there’s a reoccuring dream, every other day. when I am knee deep in my poison, diving into glass shards and trophy caps. an array of chanting. I am the reigning queen, of, Nothing. and, here I am. Up to my neck in caps, swimming in remains, on the third floor, ready to wake myself up again. Three…. Two… One… Wait, how did I end up back in my bed?
I am developing an alcohol dependence. One night, when drunk in my room, I was depressed, feeling lost, wanting to jump out my window. I called my friend, told her and she tells me "this is just the system, you gotta let it run its course."
#addiction#drinking#alone#lost#death#awake#asleep#routine
cmaldecoa
Written by
cmaldecoa
19/F/Arizona
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 1:55 AM UTC
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