A Storm Trooper Remembers
Lord Vader was always getting bees stuck in his helmet. Eventually he learned to live with them in his way,
it was even rumored he kept a flower garden in the Death Star's attic, perpetuating his own affliction. One time
pollen completely clogged his breathing apparatus and when he pulled off his helmet we saw that he was
wearing lipstick and eye shadow. He claimed it was for a play he had been writing and that he had to stay in
character and then he killed a bunch of us and claimed that was in the play too. Another time we caught him
smacking his head against the wall cursing Yoda, bees flying everywhere, we shot at the bees for hours but
inevitably didn't hit any, why did we even have guns? One time the dark lord was speaking fondly of his
annihilation of Alderaan when huge globs of honey began to bubble from his mouth piece. It was really hard to
take him seriously after that but I mean you had to, bees or no bees he could still choke the life out of you from
across the room.
Aug 10, 2012
Aug 10, 2012 at 3:25 AM UTC
A Storm Trooper Remembers
Lord Vader was always getting bees stuck in his helmet. Eventually he learned to live with them in his way,
it was even rumored he kept a flower garden in the Death Star's attic, perpetuating his own affliction. One time
pollen completely clogged his breathing apparatus and when he pulled off his helmet we saw that he was
wearing lipstick and eye shadow. He claimed it was for a play he had been writing and that he had to stay in
character and then he killed a bunch of us and claimed that was in the play too. Another time we caught him
smacking his head against the wall cursing Yoda, bees flying everywhere, we shot at the bees for hours but
inevitably didn't hit any, why did we even have guns? One time the dark lord was speaking fondly of his
annihilation of Alderaan when huge globs of honey began to bubble from his mouth piece. It was really hard to
take him seriously after that but I mean you had to, bees or no bees he could still choke the life out of you from
across the room.
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