Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
amanda-stoddardPoems
5 months ago I discovered I had cptsd- I have a new name to claim and to become accustomed to. my mind is wired weird now. and I can't blame these happenings on chemical imbalance anymore this true has held my throat shut. Everything I knew about myself vanished, but everything I knew about myself now made sense. Every step forward was inside of quick sand. Every step out of it was dragging around ***** My mind was sheet white and clean slate. These triggers always align my eye sight even words can engrave themselves inside of my head-space. I am everywhere at once. Here's the thing, my prefrontal cortex is stunted and it's all my childhood's fault. I would hold resentment or place the blame on my alcoholic father, or on my abuser- but I don't have the time or the patience to entertain anger. So instead I am sad. Grudges have been my calling card since birth and I'm tired of wearing them like a scarlet letter. A giant red stain, but in my eyes and on my face, everyone knows I am damaged everyone knows I am deranged. I walk on spiders trying not to squish them knowing **** well, they could **** me if they wanted.
0
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 7:37 PM UTC
SeePTSD
5 months ago I discovered I had cptsd- I have a new name to claim and to become accustomed to. my mind is wired weird now. and I can't blame these happenings on chemical imbalance anymore this true has held my throat shut. Everything I knew about myself vanished, but everything I knew about myself now made sense. Every step forward was inside of quick sand. Every step out of it was dragging around ***** My mind was sheet white and clean slate. These triggers always align my eye sight even words can engrave themselves inside of my head-space. I am everywhere at once. Here's the thing, my prefrontal cortex is stunted and it's all my childhood's fault. I would hold resentment or place the blame on my alcoholic father, or on my abuser- but I don't have the time or the patience to entertain anger. So instead I am sad. Grudges have been my calling card since birth and I'm tired of wearing them like a scarlet letter. A giant red stain, but in my eyes and on my face, everyone knows I am damaged everyone knows I am deranged. I walk on spiders trying not to squish them knowing **** well, they could **** me if they wanted.
#cptsd
amanda-stoddard
Written by
amanda-stoddard
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 7:37 PM UTC
Request permission to use this poem