When you live with someone who has Alzheimer’s
your house feels haunted
Mostly at night
Only ghosts wander like that
So aimlessly
It is metal pounding in the garage
a knife in my hand
and the deep breathed fear of
What’s behind door number 2
It is him halfway inside a dryer
Trying to get out
I sleep with my door open
listen carefully like a ghost hunter
for the way he haunts the halls
for the soft pat of skin on tile collapse
fnd the moaning
I carry him to the bathroom
He is the heaviest ghost ever
A different kind of dead weight
I light him a cigarette
The cherry glows red in the dark
The tobacco crackles with each puff
He calls me nurse
calls me some other name
one I’ve never heard before
He is just practicing
It is hard to be good at being so lost
Even now that I am a man
he still scares me
scares me differently
Startles me in the dark
comes around corners
crawls on the floor towards me
I am not always ready for that
Before
He scared me
the way a feral dog scares living food
A certain kind of animal inside of him
Now he isn’t so wild
Taming takes so much away
He is dark spots on tan paper
crusted blood on nose and head
yellow ET cigarette stained fingertips
He is me in thirty years
He is barbiturate slack jaw
Forward lean balance struggle
And at night he is so much a ghost
I forget about his good days and wonder
What’s the point?
My house is haunted
by a man who has never not gone
Bump in the night
Jun 13, 2012
Jun 13, 2012 at 5:21 AM UTC
When you live with someone who has Alzheimer’s
your house feels haunted
Mostly at night
Only ghosts wander like that
So aimlessly
It is metal pounding in the garage
a knife in my hand
and the deep breathed fear of
What’s behind door number 2
It is him halfway inside a dryer
Trying to get out
I sleep with my door open
listen carefully like a ghost hunter
for the way he haunts the halls
for the soft pat of skin on tile collapse
fnd the moaning
I carry him to the bathroom
He is the heaviest ghost ever
A different kind of dead weight
I light him a cigarette
The cherry glows red in the dark
The tobacco crackles with each puff
He calls me nurse
calls me some other name
one I’ve never heard before
He is just practicing
It is hard to be good at being so lost
Even now that I am a man
he still scares me
scares me differently
Startles me in the dark
comes around corners
crawls on the floor towards me
I am not always ready for that
Before
He scared me
the way a feral dog scares living food
A certain kind of animal inside of him
Now he isn’t so wild
Taming takes so much away
He is dark spots on tan paper
crusted blood on nose and head
yellow ET cigarette stained fingertips
He is me in thirty years
He is barbiturate slack jaw
Forward lean balance struggle
And at night he is so much a ghost
I forget about his good days and wonder
What’s the point?
My house is haunted
by a man who has never not gone
Bump in the night
