It was like the time our cat died
And we buried it in a shoebox
And made a wind chime out of the bell
Carved her name in the tree we buried her under
Just says Beans
I imagine this confuses the family who now lives there
Coffins shouldn't exist for things that small
I asked a friend to sew you a quilt out of her clothes
So you still might know her warmth
Babies grow fast
So much clothes from the shower
It will be a big quilt
Your belly still a bulb of life bursting
But hollow
In thick black sharpie you wrote
MORGUE
Just above your belly button
You maker of life
Giver of the good stuff
Holder of the second heartbeat
You can only make good things
Your body is a mess
Genuinely ugly on the inside
But it creates good things
Remind it of that
When it rebukes its purpose
And lets go
The next one will stay
Because there shouldn’t be coffins
For things that small
You said I could be Uncle Jon
I have never been given that
I’m not allowed to see my own nephews
Because of how the past eats us
The past is a morgue
Of heartbreak festering
And forgiveness is not a time machine
Set to 10 minutes before regret kicked in
When my own children bury me
I hope they do something with what I leave behind
So I know that I actually have something worth
Leaving behind
You did not leave her behind
Even though you named her
Ellie
Elizabeth
But we knew it would be Ellie
She is not how you will be remembered
You do not make mistakes
You make life
In everything you do
As long as you are living
You make life
So when your body forgets this
Remind it
With breath
And tears
And sleepless nights
And anger
And happiness
Make life
May 25, 2012
May 25, 2012 at 4:49 PM UTC
It was like the time our cat died
And we buried it in a shoebox
And made a wind chime out of the bell
Carved her name in the tree we buried her under
Just says Beans
I imagine this confuses the family who now lives there
Coffins shouldn't exist for things that small
I asked a friend to sew you a quilt out of her clothes
So you still might know her warmth
Babies grow fast
So much clothes from the shower
It will be a big quilt
Your belly still a bulb of life bursting
But hollow
In thick black sharpie you wrote
MORGUE
Just above your belly button
You maker of life
Giver of the good stuff
Holder of the second heartbeat
You can only make good things
Your body is a mess
Genuinely ugly on the inside
But it creates good things
Remind it of that
When it rebukes its purpose
And lets go
The next one will stay
Because there shouldn’t be coffins
For things that small
You said I could be Uncle Jon
I have never been given that
I’m not allowed to see my own nephews
Because of how the past eats us
The past is a morgue
Of heartbreak festering
And forgiveness is not a time machine
Set to 10 minutes before regret kicked in
When my own children bury me
I hope they do something with what I leave behind
So I know that I actually have something worth
Leaving behind
You did not leave her behind
Even though you named her
Ellie
Elizabeth
But we knew it would be Ellie
She is not how you will be remembered
You do not make mistakes
You make life
In everything you do
As long as you are living
You make life
So when your body forgets this
Remind it
With breath
And tears
And sleepless nights
And anger
And happiness
Make life
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