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juniper-mae-gittensPoems
I turn to you lips red with love such a violent pleasure, it drips from me in streams. Reaching for you I am undone collapse a wave abandoning rage on the shore, leaves bowing “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” I was unprepared, no one told me it would be so hard to be human. I did not know that remaining soft was a daily choice, kindness an hourly one, empathy and honesty needing to be chosen again again again again again every moment... If only I had stayed curled up /with no body/ in that deep place where we are all formless. But I wanted sunlight I wanted flowers and the soft songs of bees I wanted arms, a wet tongue, I wanted knees, and toenails, and freckles, and knuckles, and eyelashes wanted all of this strange, cumbersome beauty. If I had been told this was the price; so much heart it beats to get out of you, the unrelenting need to be loved, so many words that my tongue grows swollen, raw skin and blood in my palms, skinned knees, lost teeth, the confusion of something I think is love, the inability to make the people you care about stay, learning to say goodbye, learning to let the same person go a thousand times over because their is always one more thing you wanted to say to them If only I had been told all of this first, I would have forgone this human form chosen something more fleeting, perhaps a pollinator; Holly Blue, a few beautiful months of sunshine and flowers and summer breezes, feet small enough to rest on the softness of petals to taste the sweet secrets of spring’s blooms before the sky gathers me back into her arms. But I did not know, jumped in blind and laughing waiting for miracles dreaming of bird’s songs and warm arms to wrap around other bodies. Yes Yes Yes I have seen miracles! I have heard the birds! Been warmed by so many other bodies I have been given, so much more than I could ever have imagined. But at what cost? Look at me! lips teeth hands chest all stained red; the metallic taste of love heavy in the air too much too much too much it pours out of me. We were not taught what to do with this. I turn to you, overwhelmed with love and you cry out perhaps in fear perhaps in joy and in that moment I question why why why everything. I pray to be made simple again, return me, to that deep place where all things rest wait formless, till they are called back into the light I promise; next time I grow hungry for the sun, I will choose a creature who does less harm.
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Jul 3, 2017
Jul 3, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC
Overwrought
I turn to you lips red with love such a violent pleasure, it drips from me in streams. Reaching for you I am undone collapse a wave abandoning rage on the shore, leaves bowing “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” I was unprepared, no one told me it would be so hard to be human. I did not know that remaining soft was a daily choice, kindness an hourly one, empathy and honesty needing to be chosen again again again again again every moment... If only I had stayed curled up /with no body/ in that deep place where we are all formless. But I wanted sunlight I wanted flowers and the soft songs of bees I wanted arms, a wet tongue, I wanted knees, and toenails, and freckles, and knuckles, and eyelashes wanted all of this strange, cumbersome beauty. If I had been told this was the price; so much heart it beats to get out of you, the unrelenting need to be loved, so many words that my tongue grows swollen, raw skin and blood in my palms, skinned knees, lost teeth, the confusion of something I think is love, the inability to make the people you care about stay, learning to say goodbye, learning to let the same person go a thousand times over because their is always one more thing you wanted to say to them If only I had been told all of this first, I would have forgone this human form chosen something more fleeting, perhaps a pollinator; Holly Blue, a few beautiful months of sunshine and flowers and summer breezes, feet small enough to rest on the softness of petals to taste the sweet secrets of spring’s blooms before the sky gathers me back into her arms. But I did not know, jumped in blind and laughing waiting for miracles dreaming of bird’s songs and warm arms to wrap around other bodies. Yes Yes Yes I have seen miracles! I have heard the birds! Been warmed by so many other bodies I have been given, so much more than I could ever have imagined. But at what cost? Look at me! lips teeth hands chest all stained red; the metallic taste of love heavy in the air too much too much too much it pours out of me. We were not taught what to do with this. I turn to you, overwhelmed with love and you cry out perhaps in fear perhaps in joy and in that moment I question why why why everything. I pray to be made simple again, return me, to that deep place where all things rest wait formless, till they are called back into the light I promise; next time I grow hungry for the sun, I will choose a creature who does less harm.
juniper-mae-gittens
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juniper-mae-gittens
Jul 3, 2017
Jul 3, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC
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