Never ever
has
anything
been so beyond
my reach
I know less now
than I did
15 years ago
back when this
unspeakable
horror
happened
still grasping
for reasons
that elude even the
fiber
of an understanding
who ,what and why
reverberates through me
on repeat
while sorting
dusty piles of pictures
from a life
that seems like a foreign film
a naïve version of myself
cameo moments
captured within
assorted snaps
your smile
profiled
many times over
these are the memories
I try to press into my
deepest mind
instead of the weight
of ashes
that buckled my knees
in a sleek
Cherry wood
box
I gave
to your brothers
to keep
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 12:00 PM UTC
Never ever
has
anything
been so beyond
my reach
I know less now
than I did
15 years ago
back when this
unspeakable
horror
happened
still grasping
for reasons
that elude even the
fiber
of an understanding
who ,what and why
reverberates through me
on repeat
while sorting
dusty piles of pictures
from a life
that seems like a foreign film
a naïve version of myself
cameo moments
captured within
assorted snaps
your smile
profiled
many times over
these are the memories
I try to press into my
deepest mind
instead of the weight
of ashes
that buckled my knees
in a sleek
Cherry wood
box
I gave
to your brothers
to keep
July 2002 I lost my husband of nearly 20 years and the father of my daughter to ****** Unsolved mystery it remains , and these thoughts creep out from the corners of my everyday life and haunt me regularly.
