I loose weight as though my body,
is a sculpture made of ice,
being carved away,
until all that is left,
is the pool of water,
under someone else beaten down shoes,
I look at myself,
as if the camera can never stop adding a few pounds,
as if suddenly my reflection is too big for the mirror,
and that even though I try,
I will never fit into the image I have sculpted for myself,
that being nothing,
is something,
and something is too heavy,
I cringe every time someone gives me a compliment,
because it is never about my size,
their words compliment everything but the elephant in the room,
and that elephant is me,
I can’t even let myself see,
that counting calories,
like bullets in a gun,
playing Russian roulette with my mind,
how many days can I waste away,
without dying,
or better yet,
how long until I don’t have to wear,
the burden of living
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 6:36 PM UTC
I loose weight as though my body,
is a sculpture made of ice,
being carved away,
until all that is left,
is the pool of water,
under someone else beaten down shoes,
I look at myself,
as if the camera can never stop adding a few pounds,
as if suddenly my reflection is too big for the mirror,
and that even though I try,
I will never fit into the image I have sculpted for myself,
that being nothing,
is something,
and something is too heavy,
I cringe every time someone gives me a compliment,
because it is never about my size,
their words compliment everything but the elephant in the room,
and that elephant is me,
I can’t even let myself see,
that counting calories,
like bullets in a gun,
playing Russian roulette with my mind,
how many days can I waste away,
without dying,
or better yet,
how long until I don’t have to wear,
the burden of living