I had convinced myself,
so long ago,
that the world was empty and coarse,
that I didn’t need anyone to share it wih.
I had told myself
everyday since,
that people aren’t worth it,
that being hollow is having control.
I had made myself believe,
in such a short while,
that escaping was the only option,
that this place was just not for me.
I had stopped looking,
never letting expectations form,
knowing things are better in black and white,
knowing feelings are fleeting, and so unstable.
I had to be leveled,
at all moments, in all places,
so I could stay above dangerous water,
so I wouldn’t make things harder for myself.
I had to keep going,
don’t stop, don’t ever stop,
or my world would shatter,
or I couldn’t escape.
I couldn’t look back,
not once,
because then I would realize my regrets,
because then I would want to go back,
because then I couldn’t survive.
Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012 at 11:24 PM UTC
I had convinced myself,
so long ago,
that the world was empty and coarse,
that I didn’t need anyone to share it wih.
I had told myself
everyday since,
that people aren’t worth it,
that being hollow is having control.
I had made myself believe,
in such a short while,
that escaping was the only option,
that this place was just not for me.
I had stopped looking,
never letting expectations form,
knowing things are better in black and white,
knowing feelings are fleeting, and so unstable.
I had to be leveled,
at all moments, in all places,
so I could stay above dangerous water,
so I wouldn’t make things harder for myself.
I had to keep going,
don’t stop, don’t ever stop,
or my world would shatter,
or I couldn’t escape.
I couldn’t look back,
not once,
because then I would realize my regrets,
because then I would want to go back,
because then I couldn’t survive.
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