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i'm going to be woken up when september ends to i will see october first *(i'm scared to death of living but i'll try it for awhile anyway)* and sure i lay in bed until noon most mornings a hot dim reconfigured dream trying to find reasons any reason *(i couldn't today didn't feel like music didn't want coffee didn't want to talk to friends didn't want breakfast didn't want to create didn't want didn't)* replaying your face bathed in two a.m. blue light telling me that i had to keep going and that maybe it was selfish but you couldn't handle the rest of your life without me in it *(we were both crying by the time we went to bed and i'm crying again when i think about it)* you know those mornings when you wake up and know that before the sun goes down your face will have felt tears? yeah it was one of those *(and tears aren't pretty just kind of watery)* and by the time i had a cup of tea and was sitting at the kitchen table i was sobbing my eyes out *(i am so tired)* i couldn't help it can't help any of this *(i am so ******* tired of being broken in half)* and i am so tired of fighting to find a reason to get out of bed.
0
Sep 9, 2016
Sep 9, 2016 at 8:30 PM UTC
reason
i'm going to be woken up when september ends to i will see october first *(i'm scared to death of living but i'll try it for awhile anyway)* and sure i lay in bed until noon most mornings a hot dim reconfigured dream trying to find reasons any reason *(i couldn't today didn't feel like music didn't want coffee didn't want to talk to friends didn't want breakfast didn't want to create didn't want didn't)* replaying your face bathed in two a.m. blue light telling me that i had to keep going and that maybe it was selfish but you couldn't handle the rest of your life without me in it *(we were both crying by the time we went to bed and i'm crying again when i think about it)* you know those mornings when you wake up and know that before the sun goes down your face will have felt tears? yeah it was one of those *(and tears aren't pretty just kind of watery)* and by the time i had a cup of tea and was sitting at the kitchen table i was sobbing my eyes out *(i am so tired)* i couldn't help it can't help any of this *(i am so ******* tired of being broken in half)* and i am so tired of fighting to find a reason to get out of bed.
Copyright 9/7/16 by B. E. McComb
#suicide#depression#tears#reason#reasons
Written by
be-mccomb
25/F
Sep 9, 2016
Sep 9, 2016 at 8:30 PM UTC
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