I'm getting weaker by the hour
And the passage of time
Speeds faster and faster.
I built walls in my mind
To keep my worries
And sorrows confined.
Now they're falling down,
My fear is overflowing,
And I can't find solid ground.
Stop telling me what helped you,
Stop telling me what I should do,
Because you don't know the depth of this flood.
Stop telling me it's easy to find land
Because you can make your own sand.
I can't and I don't think I ever will.
For just one second
Please listen to me when I say
That I can't ******* breathe.
Telling me there's air all around
Will not force it into my lungs
And bring me back from the brink of death.
And when I say
I'm terrified,
It's not an invitation
For a lesson in bravery.
When I say I'm scared
It's not because I don't understand
Everything that's going on.
I understand just fine.
But understanding that the sun shines
Is not what makes it rise.
Stop telling me things
That I already know.
Stop telling me things
That are of no use.
And stop making my pain
About you.
I'm not as stupid
As you might think.
But being filled with knowledge
Doesn't mean I won't sink.
I'm not as blind
As you may believe.
You keep telling me to open my eyes
But I already see just fine
And clarity of vision
Is the last thing I need.
I'm on the edge,
And I know you know
What that means.
So for the love of all that is holy
Stop pushing me.
You might think I can fly
But I already know I can't.
You might say
That you'll catch me.
But the arms of another
Are not what I need.
So next time you see tears in my eyes,
And it won't be far off,
Don't speak.
Don't preach.
Just listen
And hold me.
You don't know me
Like you think you do.
And I'm sure if you did,
You wouldn't want to.
I'm fragile and dark
Like a tree that's been burned.
I'm not the blooming flower
That I pretend to be.
And you would know that by now
If you were silent
And let me speak.
I've been quiet my whole life
And maybe that's part of the reason
I'm constantly overwhelmed.
I have so much to say
And no one to listen.
No one to open their ears
And hear me scream.
My screams have always been inward,
Echoing inside me.
If I could just let them out
Maybe they would stop killing me.
It's so loud inside my head
That most of the time
I wish I was dead.
But if I could take that volume
And let it disolve into the air,
Maybe I could sleep soundly
And stop running in my dreams.
So if you really want to help
And if you really care,
Please stop rambling about things
That won't bring my empty lungs air.
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 2:24 AM UTC
I'm getting weaker by the hour
And the passage of time
Speeds faster and faster.
I built walls in my mind
To keep my worries
And sorrows confined.
Now they're falling down,
My fear is overflowing,
And I can't find solid ground.
Stop telling me what helped you,
Stop telling me what I should do,
Because you don't know the depth of this flood.
Stop telling me it's easy to find land
Because you can make your own sand.
I can't and I don't think I ever will.
For just one second
Please listen to me when I say
That I can't ******* breathe.
Telling me there's air all around
Will not force it into my lungs
And bring me back from the brink of death.
And when I say
I'm terrified,
It's not an invitation
For a lesson in bravery.
When I say I'm scared
It's not because I don't understand
Everything that's going on.
I understand just fine.
But understanding that the sun shines
Is not what makes it rise.
Stop telling me things
That I already know.
Stop telling me things
That are of no use.
And stop making my pain
About you.
I'm not as stupid
As you might think.
But being filled with knowledge
Doesn't mean I won't sink.
I'm not as blind
As you may believe.
You keep telling me to open my eyes
But I already see just fine
And clarity of vision
Is the last thing I need.
I'm on the edge,
And I know you know
What that means.
So for the love of all that is holy
Stop pushing me.
You might think I can fly
But I already know I can't.
You might say
That you'll catch me.
But the arms of another
Are not what I need.
So next time you see tears in my eyes,
And it won't be far off,
Don't speak.
Don't preach.
Just listen
And hold me.
You don't know me
Like you think you do.
And I'm sure if you did,
You wouldn't want to.
I'm fragile and dark
Like a tree that's been burned.
I'm not the blooming flower
That I pretend to be.
And you would know that by now
If you were silent
And let me speak.
I've been quiet my whole life
And maybe that's part of the reason
I'm constantly overwhelmed.
I have so much to say
And no one to listen.
No one to open their ears
And hear me scream.
My screams have always been inward,
Echoing inside me.
If I could just let them out
Maybe they would stop killing me.
It's so loud inside my head
That most of the time
I wish I was dead.
But if I could take that volume
And let it disolve into the air,
Maybe I could sleep soundly
And stop running in my dreams.
So if you really want to help
And if you really care,
Please stop rambling about things
That won't bring my empty lungs air.
UUUUUGHHHHHHH
