it won't stop.
nothing will slow down
i ask for everything to just hang on, hold on a moment
please can you wait
just for a second
nothing ever does
so i pick
pick pick pick
pick pick pick pick pick pick
constantly
over and over and over over and over and over
and over
when that no longer satisfies the compulsion i bite down
longer, harder
until i taste blood
until it's over
at least, for now.
the blood pools at my fingertips
little red wells of humiliation
the pieces of skin collect at my feet
like a scattering of shame
a signpost of the turmoil i cannot contain
the girls around me look me up and down
whisper words of contempt and disgust
"freak"
torn and bitten, i curl into fists
the teachers stare quietly
unable to pass judgement, but the pity smothers me
"disturbed"
the urges are quiet
sated, satisfied
it's done
at least, for now
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 4:39 PM UTC
it won't stop.
nothing will slow down
i ask for everything to just hang on, hold on a moment
please can you wait
just for a second
nothing ever does
so i pick
pick pick pick
pick pick pick pick pick pick
constantly
over and over and over over and over and over
and over
when that no longer satisfies the compulsion i bite down
longer, harder
until i taste blood
until it's over
at least, for now.
the blood pools at my fingertips
little red wells of humiliation
the pieces of skin collect at my feet
like a scattering of shame
a signpost of the turmoil i cannot contain
the girls around me look me up and down
whisper words of contempt and disgust
"freak"
torn and bitten, i curl into fists
the teachers stare quietly
unable to pass judgement, but the pity smothers me
"disturbed"
the urges are quiet
sated, satisfied
it's done
at least, for now
