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with predatory instinct found under siege, underground Birch II, my ward, my home before I leave pages turn to tome with rehashed food and smuggled items of variety cigarettes, chew, and paper clips, decaffeinated life suicide attempt breeding contempt smash at walls scream at captors claws of raptors manic I was, manic I remain, new rage, I am insane line by line by line empty words of horror’s sound with LSD’s aftershocks ringing my ears and feeding my eyes that hate your normalcy with all the confused dread I can muster one word, madness shaking fool, lost cool tremolo-plastic-breakfast-spoon lifting bits of sanity to my mouth parts Freshly-washed ******** desires the woman I left in the real anti-world called home close my eyes and see my last trip bathroom tiles explode and cover sink, tub, garbage can, mirror, telephone, and leg-arms bad trip, but it was better than your unreal world take your meds now two-fisted, bipolar, mixed-manic, one-eyed, living, breathing, copulating monster under eternity’s bed anger pounding at my ******* coming out as a giant, stinking **** the them that sit behind the desk regulate lives of poor inmate crazies eat their meals and take my soul others play cards, I write, **** time, **** tension, **** myself, with treatment plans, unreasonable demands in psycho-babble B. S. words like suicidal ideation, that doesn’t apply to me, does it? I want my trip back, I want to live in another place with another face I want my trip back darling I want to watch the words explode, I want to watch the tiles grow up my legs again to watch as paper becomes pen, to bathe the tiles off of my inhuman skin I want my trip back baby I want to breathe in prism air where nothing and eternity collide in spectacular displays of sonic-boom, emotional madness incredibly---------------edible-------------sadness I see the me looking from inside LSD’s mirror and want to rejoin the missing-hated-wasted-rain-forest blackened by man’s desire with silk-rose-petal-eye-bomb-shell LEAVE! leave me, for what I did or did not do or have or think or say or what style means nothing more nothing less, you know? it takes confusion to produce effective illusion to produce base desires feed the fires smoky the bear at the demon’s lair with broken feet suckle the **** of unused, aggressive, possessive MADNESS!!!!! natural-organic-popcorn-hulls in rotted-bleeding-tooth-socket-decay-pain elusive means justify idiot ends, so dig the pick into the hole in my jaw as I scream the insanity away from my ears and into your eye-ball-socket-hole-skull-spot clipped fingernail package in the mail next time I won’t fail sleep, sleep won’t be my lover tonight, her arms won’t touch my shoulder I won’t feel her finger-touch-tip or rub my ***** on her ****** I want my trip back love me, love me, love me for love or money, for emotions mistaken, for idiot sensation, for all the things you do for me, for my insanity’s sake my world slowly fills with unbearable ills, chemical need so deep it erases my soul feet sore from pacing door to door to door to door on and on seconds bleed out minutes, bleed the hours, tears bleed out the poison self-inflicted, pen bleeds ink onto paper thoughts coagulate and scabrous emotions take
0
Feb 6, 2010
Feb 6, 2010 at 7:10 AM UTC
FLASH BACK
with predatory instinct found under siege, underground Birch II, my ward, my home before I leave pages turn to tome with rehashed food and smuggled items of variety cigarettes, chew, and paper clips, decaffeinated life suicide attempt breeding contempt smash at walls scream at captors claws of raptors manic I was, manic I remain, new rage, I am insane line by line by line empty words of horror’s sound with LSD’s aftershocks ringing my ears and feeding my eyes that hate your normalcy with all the confused dread I can muster one word, madness shaking fool, lost cool tremolo-plastic-breakfast-spoon lifting bits of sanity to my mouth parts Freshly-washed ******** desires the woman I left in the real anti-world called home close my eyes and see my last trip bathroom tiles explode and cover sink, tub, garbage can, mirror, telephone, and leg-arms bad trip, but it was better than your unreal world take your meds now two-fisted, bipolar, mixed-manic, one-eyed, living, breathing, copulating monster under eternity’s bed anger pounding at my ******* coming out as a giant, stinking **** the them that sit behind the desk regulate lives of poor inmate crazies eat their meals and take my soul others play cards, I write, **** time, **** tension, **** myself, with treatment plans, unreasonable demands in psycho-babble B. S. words like suicidal ideation, that doesn’t apply to me, does it? I want my trip back, I want to live in another place with another face I want my trip back darling I want to watch the words explode, I want to watch the tiles grow up my legs again to watch as paper becomes pen, to bathe the tiles off of my inhuman skin I want my trip back baby I want to breathe in prism air where nothing and eternity collide in spectacular displays of sonic-boom, emotional madness incredibly---------------edible-------------sadness I see the me looking from inside LSD’s mirror and want to rejoin the missing-hated-wasted-rain-forest blackened by man’s desire with silk-rose-petal-eye-bomb-shell LEAVE! leave me, for what I did or did not do or have or think or say or what style means nothing more nothing less, you know? it takes confusion to produce effective illusion to produce base desires feed the fires smoky the bear at the demon’s lair with broken feet suckle the **** of unused, aggressive, possessive MADNESS!!!!! natural-organic-popcorn-hulls in rotted-bleeding-tooth-socket-decay-pain elusive means justify idiot ends, so dig the pick into the hole in my jaw as I scream the insanity away from my ears and into your eye-ball-socket-hole-skull-spot clipped fingernail package in the mail next time I won’t fail sleep, sleep won’t be my lover tonight, her arms won’t touch my shoulder I won’t feel her finger-touch-tip or rub my ***** on her ****** I want my trip back love me, love me, love me for love or money, for emotions mistaken, for idiot sensation, for all the things you do for me, for my insanity’s sake my world slowly fills with unbearable ills, chemical need so deep it erases my soul feet sore from pacing door to door to door to door on and on seconds bleed out minutes, bleed the hours, tears bleed out the poison self-inflicted, pen bleeds ink onto paper thoughts coagulate and scabrous emotions take
doug-mocoy
Written by
American
Feb 6, 2010
Feb 6, 2010 at 7:10 AM UTC
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