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douglassPoems
Once, an old friend asked me; what would my soul look like, if others could see it? "A bug," I replied. To crickets, the mantis is terror incarnate--a fierce behemoth, with knives for hands and without mercy. It is to be respected and feared, it is mighty and dignified. To a human? A mantis is... "A bug." It is the debris among the mud between the treads of your sneakers. It is the gross infatuation, the scientific fascination--it is weak. It is small. It is inconsequential. I yearn for a life of primitive needs and void of wants. I yearn for the mantis, seeking only to destroy enough to line his stomach, all in a day's work, back to the safe spot where the "bigger and badder" can't reach you. Life would be eat, sleep, repeat, and I detest my self-awareness. I'd rather fail the simple life of a mantis and die without need of fulfillment, Than to realize I'll no sooner discover what "fulfillment" is to myself than reach it--and to be torturously aware of that, So very, very, existentially aware. "My soul would look like a bug."
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Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
Prose; Continued
Once, an old friend asked me; what would my soul look like, if others could see it? "A bug," I replied. To crickets, the mantis is terror incarnate--a fierce behemoth, with knives for hands and without mercy. It is to be respected and feared, it is mighty and dignified. To a human? A mantis is... "A bug." It is the debris among the mud between the treads of your sneakers. It is the gross infatuation, the scientific fascination--it is weak. It is small. It is inconsequential. I yearn for a life of primitive needs and void of wants. I yearn for the mantis, seeking only to destroy enough to line his stomach, all in a day's work, back to the safe spot where the "bigger and badder" can't reach you. Life would be eat, sleep, repeat, and I detest my self-awareness. I'd rather fail the simple life of a mantis and die without need of fulfillment, Than to realize I'll no sooner discover what "fulfillment" is to myself than reach it--and to be torturously aware of that, So very, very, existentially aware. "My soul would look like a bug."
I'm such a cliche, but who can deny that being human is a curse? Awareness of the self is deeply depressing.
#existential#reflection#personal#awareness#existentialcrisis
douglass
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douglass
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
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