It is a sickness
That I never understood
Years of study buried under bundles of books
Availed me naught
How someone can claim
Pain equals love
That violence is righteous
Motherly dissonance
Sins I cannot forgive
Angers issues just
Barely boiling above
The surface of her stove top love
Untamed rage
Things she never mastered
I spent years in fear
Of becoming her mirror image *******
Feeling thinking dreaming
Sinking in my own stinking
Pit of mixed emotions
Such a painful conflict
Still I exist
Normally kind hearted
With a slick wit
Made to make people laugh
My rage long since subsided
Except in her presence
Her ignorance
Burns
My diligence earns
Me some leeway
And though I love much
I allow myself this hate
I am lessened by this
Not my best self
Hunted by the hungry animal
The wounded one waiting to strike
A lifetime of self-abuse
Of depression mixed in with my lessons
And now I know
That it is my birth-right
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
It is a sickness
That I never understood
Years of study buried under bundles of books
Availed me naught
How someone can claim
Pain equals love
That violence is righteous
Motherly dissonance
Sins I cannot forgive
Angers issues just
Barely boiling above
The surface of her stove top love
Untamed rage
Things she never mastered
I spent years in fear
Of becoming her mirror image *******
Feeling thinking dreaming
Sinking in my own stinking
Pit of mixed emotions
Such a painful conflict
Still I exist
Normally kind hearted
With a slick wit
Made to make people laugh
My rage long since subsided
Except in her presence
Her ignorance
Burns
My diligence earns
Me some leeway
And though I love much
I allow myself this hate
I am lessened by this
Not my best self
Hunted by the hungry animal
The wounded one waiting to strike
A lifetime of self-abuse
Of depression mixed in with my lessons
And now I know
That it is my birth-right
