strangers hold up scoring cards as I pass by
6
4
8
3
i pretend not to notice them, but I do
I try to pretend like I enjoy talking about myself
when people ask me stupid questions about my life:
"where do you work?"
"how are the wedding plans coming?"
"are you going to school?"
all of which hold very little importance
so I shy away from them
perhaps it is because I do not feel worthy of such attention
cannot grasp that some people genuinely wish to know
I don't show love or interest like that
sometimes I am afraid that I am not capable of loving at all
but that-
is a silly notion
scrawled up on Lucifer's drawing table
he wishes for me to be miserable, as he is
why do I succumb to the lies
I feel incomplete sometimes (always)
and I wonder if Pacman feels like an incomplete ball of sunshine, too
"Sunshine," he calls me.
and I shrink from my lover,
because I don't know what to do with my darkness.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015 at 11:34 AM UTC
strangers hold up scoring cards as I pass by
6
4
8
3
i pretend not to notice them, but I do
I try to pretend like I enjoy talking about myself
when people ask me stupid questions about my life:
"where do you work?"
"how are the wedding plans coming?"
"are you going to school?"
all of which hold very little importance
so I shy away from them
perhaps it is because I do not feel worthy of such attention
cannot grasp that some people genuinely wish to know
I don't show love or interest like that
sometimes I am afraid that I am not capable of loving at all
but that-
is a silly notion
scrawled up on Lucifer's drawing table
he wishes for me to be miserable, as he is
why do I succumb to the lies
I feel incomplete sometimes (always)
and I wonder if Pacman feels like an incomplete ball of sunshine, too
"Sunshine," he calls me.
and I shrink from my lover,
because I don't know what to do with my darkness.
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