Before I met you, I was lost
Floating in a sea of self-deprecation
I’m still in that sea
I still feel so lost
I hate myself
But somehow I love you
I don’t understand how everything worked
How I can love you when I don’t even like me
But then I really talked to you
And I learned
You make it so easy to love you
You’re so calm and so kind
I can’t stop from falling
Can’t stop my heart from racing
Before I met you, I was ready to go
To make my grand exit
Let everything fall away
I wanted to float, feel the pain inside melt
I wanted my life to end tragically
Now, however, I can’t bear to leave
Your hands have vice-gripped my heart
And anchored me to the ground
Every time you say you love me
You pull me back down
Why, I wonder
Why do you love me?
What the hell makes me so special?
I’m not special
I’m broken
I’ve told you I love you
And I mean it with all my heart
Well, with all that’s left
I don’t know why I can’t love me
Or see me the way you do
I don’t want you to get corrupted
To get dirtied by the shadows I live in
My life is full of darkness
Yet you seem to dwell in the light
Before I met you, I thought the darkness was normal
I’d gotten so used to it that it didn’t matter anymore
But then you showed me light
I want it, I really do
But I know I can’t have it
Not when I’ve been in the shadows so long
Not when I’ve made them my home
I want you to realize that you deserve better
You deserve someone who’s whole
I’m not whole in the slightest
I’m splintered and dark
I’m sad and I’m angry
And I don’t know what to do
But you make me smile somehow,
You chase the shadows away
Somehow when you hold me
You keep the darkness at bay
So please, don’t ever let go
If you really love me
Because I think I’d die without you,
The darkness will swallow me whole
Before I met you, I was halfway to dead
But then you entered my life
And while I know I don’t love myself yet
With you I think I can try
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 5:00 PM UTC
Before I met you, I was lost
Floating in a sea of self-deprecation
I’m still in that sea
I still feel so lost
I hate myself
But somehow I love you
I don’t understand how everything worked
How I can love you when I don’t even like me
But then I really talked to you
And I learned
You make it so easy to love you
You’re so calm and so kind
I can’t stop from falling
Can’t stop my heart from racing
Before I met you, I was ready to go
To make my grand exit
Let everything fall away
I wanted to float, feel the pain inside melt
I wanted my life to end tragically
Now, however, I can’t bear to leave
Your hands have vice-gripped my heart
And anchored me to the ground
Every time you say you love me
You pull me back down
Why, I wonder
Why do you love me?
What the hell makes me so special?
I’m not special
I’m broken
I’ve told you I love you
And I mean it with all my heart
Well, with all that’s left
I don’t know why I can’t love me
Or see me the way you do
I don’t want you to get corrupted
To get dirtied by the shadows I live in
My life is full of darkness
Yet you seem to dwell in the light
Before I met you, I thought the darkness was normal
I’d gotten so used to it that it didn’t matter anymore
But then you showed me light
I want it, I really do
But I know I can’t have it
Not when I’ve been in the shadows so long
Not when I’ve made them my home
I want you to realize that you deserve better
You deserve someone who’s whole
I’m not whole in the slightest
I’m splintered and dark
I’m sad and I’m angry
And I don’t know what to do
But you make me smile somehow,
You chase the shadows away
Somehow when you hold me
You keep the darkness at bay
So please, don’t ever let go
If you really love me
Because I think I’d die without you,
The darkness will swallow me whole
Before I met you, I was halfway to dead
But then you entered my life
And while I know I don’t love myself yet
With you I think I can try
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