"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
****
My eyes may be dry
but boy do I have a heart full of tears.
I use to cry a lot too
It was easy to access.
Now ?
Man...takes effort.
Which is strange because
I feel the sadness.
I feel the pains.
I feel the sorrow.
...I carry it.
Look man,
I spent GOOD time...
a good amount of time
in the unknown relying...
on the All Knowing.
You don' t think that just maybe,
I' ll be coming back with something?
That I would' ve learned a thing or Three?
Pick a side.
You can' t under estimate me
while having high expectations.
Y' all just see the man,
like he' s seperated from the me.
Or maybe the me who' s seperate from the man.
I don' t know.
At this point I can' t even tell.
All I know is,
they' re are some weird
and quite frankly...
offensive expectations of me.
Crazy how the person who' s built a life around piecing people back together,
isn' t allowed to break.
Look I know things.
This ain' t even ego talking.
I just know, what I know.
And there' s this burden
that feels stitched to me,
that I must share this knowledge.
It' s knowledge but really,
I see it as direction.
Y' all can pretend all you want,
we need direction.
smt ***** that,
Y' ALL need direction!
What am I talking about ?!?
Better question;
Why is everyone, copying everyone?
So I try to serve as a...beacon so to speak.
A beacon who' s willing to be in the dark WITH you.
And it' s not even for an imposed agenda.
That' s the wild part!
Y' all KNOW y' all WANT
to feel better about yourselves.
To be better TO yourselves.
Think better.
Respond better.
Relationship better.
Life...better.
I' m on your side. Always have been.
But somehow,
I' m treated like the cancer.
No,
Let me say it plainly...
I' m treated like the problem.
And as badly as I' d want to advocated for myself,
I' d only do it aggressively...
and that never ends well.
So I' m quiet and I go and break in silence.
And honestly,
I want to be more quiet
but people want me to speak.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
but they respect the weight of my words.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
They know it' s sound judgement with me.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
It' s always honesty with me.
They' ll never admit,
they think I know what I' m talking about.
I' m not in it for the glory man.
Ironically, this "beacon"
doesn' t like the spotlight.
I' m not in it for the glory.
But I' m ALSO not in it for the disrespect and the abuse.
But
there' s a service that' s needed
and then again...
John 15:18-21
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 9:43 AM UTC
"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
****
My eyes may be dry
but boy do I have a heart full of tears.
I use to cry a lot too
It was easy to access.
Now ?
Man...takes effort.
Which is strange because
I feel the sadness.
I feel the pains.
I feel the sorrow.
...I carry it.
Look man,
I spent GOOD time...
a good amount of time
in the unknown relying...
on the All Knowing.
You don' t think that just maybe,
I' ll be coming back with something?
That I would' ve learned a thing or Three?
Pick a side.
You can' t under estimate me
while having high expectations.
Y' all just see the man,
like he' s seperated from the me.
Or maybe the me who' s seperate from the man.
I don' t know.
At this point I can' t even tell.
All I know is,
they' re are some weird
and quite frankly...
offensive expectations of me.
Crazy how the person who' s built a life around piecing people back together,
isn' t allowed to break.
Look I know things.
This ain' t even ego talking.
I just know, what I know.
And there' s this burden
that feels stitched to me,
that I must share this knowledge.
It' s knowledge but really,
I see it as direction.
Y' all can pretend all you want,
we need direction.
smt ***** that,
Y' ALL need direction!
What am I talking about ?!?
Better question;
Why is everyone, copying everyone?
So I try to serve as a...beacon so to speak.
A beacon who' s willing to be in the dark WITH you.
And it' s not even for an imposed agenda.
That' s the wild part!
Y' all KNOW y' all WANT
to feel better about yourselves.
To be better TO yourselves.
Think better.
Respond better.
Relationship better.
Life...better.
I' m on your side. Always have been.
But somehow,
I' m treated like the cancer.
No,
Let me say it plainly...
I' m treated like the problem.
And as badly as I' d want to advocated for myself,
I' d only do it aggressively...
and that never ends well.
So I' m quiet and I go and break in silence.
And honestly,
I want to be more quiet
but people want me to speak.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
but they respect the weight of my words.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
They know it' s sound judgement with me.
THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT THIS...
It' s always honesty with me.
They' ll never admit,
they think I know what I' m talking about.
I' m not in it for the glory man.
Ironically, this "beacon"
doesn' t like the spotlight.
I' m not in it for the glory.
But I' m ALSO not in it for the disrespect and the abuse.
But
there' s a service that' s needed
and then again...
John 15:18-21