my mother was
the first one
to break my heart,
it was accidental —
she just never learned
how to play her part
where was that connection,
that bond at birth?
why did i have to wonder
when i was a child
what my life was worth?
i remember the scent
of strong perfume
as she left with haste
saying she’d be back soon
soon was a loose term
soon meant days on end
it meant moments of panic
will i ever see her again?
**** wait, do we have bread?
ah, there she is,
everything is fine
she’d stumble in days late
when the relief hit, it washed away
the built up worry and hate
(she’d find the knife hidden under my bed,
one of my only memories at eight)
she told me she loved me
more than every star in the sky,
everything i do is for you,
gullible
i always believed that lie
“whats the big deal?
i deserve a life too”
i didnt ask to be here,
a choice was made,
but youre right, im sorry
how dare i ruin this for you
im a miracle child
but it feels more like a curse,
you broke my heart
when i learned
that existing
made your life worse
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 2:11 AM UTC
my mother was
the first one
to break my heart,
it was accidental —
she just never learned
how to play her part
where was that connection,
that bond at birth?
why did i have to wonder
when i was a child
what my life was worth?
i remember the scent
of strong perfume
as she left with haste
saying she’d be back soon
soon was a loose term
soon meant days on end
it meant moments of panic
will i ever see her again?
**** wait, do we have bread?
ah, there she is,
everything is fine
she’d stumble in days late
when the relief hit, it washed away
the built up worry and hate
(she’d find the knife hidden under my bed,
one of my only memories at eight)
she told me she loved me
more than every star in the sky,
everything i do is for you,
gullible
i always believed that lie
“whats the big deal?
i deserve a life too”
i didnt ask to be here,
a choice was made,
but youre right, im sorry
how dare i ruin this for you
im a miracle child
but it feels more like a curse,
you broke my heart
when i learned
that existing
made your life worse
i spent a lot of time as a child watching the clock