I have felt exquisite wonder
And I have felt devastating lose.
I have been wrapped in the softest love.
And cut by the sharpest regret.
My life has been a lifetime movie gone wrong.
But also a Hallmark movie gone so right.
My skin has been blistered by abuse,
And it has been soothed by honeyed lips.
I have been overwhelmed with heartache,
But I've been overwhelmed with elation too.
I spent long periods of my adolescents and early 20s
Retreating to the dark,
Hopeless,
Desperate to disappear.
Believing I was Noone
Convinced I'd never be anyone.
I have been so beaten by despair,
Left battered, and bruised.
Untethered from my life,
Shrouded in worthlessness.
And I have felt so elevated with purpose,
Lifted battered and bruised back onto my feet.
With resolve so strong
I've felt it in my bones.
Illuminated with determination.
Every time I swore I couldn't get up again,
I did.
Every time I feared this was the one that did me in,
It wasn't.
Every dark corner I never thought I'd find my way out of,
I found my way to the light.
Everything meant to destroy me,
Also created me.
Each destruction a platform for my rebirth.
A place to rise from the ashes.
A stepping stone that said:
"I've been here. It's time to move on."
My life has been a constant Flux between
Horrendous and wonderous.
On a pendulum gage swinging back and forth.
And in the end,
I'm thankful for all I've learned from it,
And the strength I've achieved because of it.
Feb 19, 2021
Feb 19, 2021 at 9:30 PM UTC
I have felt exquisite wonder
And I have felt devastating lose.
I have been wrapped in the softest love.
And cut by the sharpest regret.
My life has been a lifetime movie gone wrong.
But also a Hallmark movie gone so right.
My skin has been blistered by abuse,
And it has been soothed by honeyed lips.
I have been overwhelmed with heartache,
But I've been overwhelmed with elation too.
I spent long periods of my adolescents and early 20s
Retreating to the dark,
Hopeless,
Desperate to disappear.
Believing I was Noone
Convinced I'd never be anyone.
I have been so beaten by despair,
Left battered, and bruised.
Untethered from my life,
Shrouded in worthlessness.
And I have felt so elevated with purpose,
Lifted battered and bruised back onto my feet.
With resolve so strong
I've felt it in my bones.
Illuminated with determination.
Every time I swore I couldn't get up again,
I did.
Every time I feared this was the one that did me in,
It wasn't.
Every dark corner I never thought I'd find my way out of,
I found my way to the light.
Everything meant to destroy me,
Also created me.
Each destruction a platform for my rebirth.
A place to rise from the ashes.
A stepping stone that said:
"I've been here. It's time to move on."
My life has been a constant Flux between
Horrendous and wonderous.
On a pendulum gage swinging back and forth.
And in the end,
I'm thankful for all I've learned from it,
And the strength I've achieved because of it.
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