"I found so many words
after you left
had we stayed together
we may have become silence"
And some days I wonder if
that silence is something that
I would've looked forward to; things
get awfully loud in the world outside
and I think it might have been comforting
to come home from the cacophony
to a deep, warm silence.
But other days, I'm reminded
of how scared I am of silence.
I think of all of my worst fears and
insecurities reverberating within my skull,
growing louder with every bounce-
no one else can hear it though.
This kind of silence is invisible,
stifling, and self-imposed.
This kind of silence yearns for
affirmations and terms of endearment
that aren't here anymore; they've
grown stale in the quiet between us.
And I think that some day,
I might just want to come home
to something loud;
to someone who will proclaim love
from the tops of mountains, and have
the strength of their words drown out
the self-doubt whispering inside my mind.
Maybe silence isn't what I wanted-
maybe I'm glad you left.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 4:56 PM UTC
"I found so many words
after you left
had we stayed together
we may have become silence"
And some days I wonder if
that silence is something that
I would've looked forward to; things
get awfully loud in the world outside
and I think it might have been comforting
to come home from the cacophony
to a deep, warm silence.
But other days, I'm reminded
of how scared I am of silence.
I think of all of my worst fears and
insecurities reverberating within my skull,
growing louder with every bounce-
no one else can hear it though.
This kind of silence is invisible,
stifling, and self-imposed.
This kind of silence yearns for
affirmations and terms of endearment
that aren't here anymore; they've
grown stale in the quiet between us.
And I think that some day,
I might just want to come home
to something loud;
to someone who will proclaim love
from the tops of mountains, and have
the strength of their words drown out
the self-doubt whispering inside my mind.
Maybe silence isn't what I wanted-
maybe I'm glad you left.
the first four lines I saw on Instagram (user @mazadohta) and thought of the rest of this piece in response.
