I am an addict
I am a mother
I am a daughter
A sister, a friend.
I am an addict
and I live under
The spell addiction sends
right through my bones,
my mind, my heart, my soul
I am an addict
and I have never felt so small
I am an addict
I told myself
As I held my head in shame
I am an addict
and I cannot live with all this pain
I am an addict
I deserve nothing but the worst
I am an addict and
I live under this curse.
Success
I cannot have it (I told myself)
The right to a good life
I am an addict
I’ve caused too much pain and strife.
Content
I cannot have it (I told myself)
I don’t deserve to smile
I am an addict and
I am at the bottom of the pile
I am a survivor
I am a warrior
I am a Queen
But
I had a habit
That dampened all of my dreams
I am a fighter, a writer
I am clever, kind, caring and strong
I am an addict
but under labels I do not belong
I am a women, a human
Who sadly had to break
To be transformed into
The champion she is evolving
into today
I am an addict and
although yes, I do lust
for drink and drugs
I now have a Higher Power
I can trust, who showers
me with strength, guidance and love
I trudged for miles but
with hard work,
The shackles soon fell off
and although yes,
I fell face first
deep into the mud
I wiped my eyes,
squeaky clean and
I truly felt Gods love.
I began to breathe, to believe
in myself, in all my worth
and dare I say it……
I was thankful to still have
two feet firmly on this earth.
I remembered how it feels to live,
to dream, to be free
To feel alive –
and just how beautiful
This universe really is
Through my new fresh eyes.
I am an addict
And I do not wish to forget
For that could do me harm
I will always remember
my loved ones, my friends,
my family
Who lost their battles
In this crazy search for calm
and I hold them here
Firmly within my heart.
They provide me with the fuel
When my internal fire
barely starts
But the ones who keep me
Strong, who really ignite
my light
Are the ones sat amongst us,
The ones who daily fight
to stay sober and clean
We’re not perfect but
We try, the survivors,
the warriors, the ones
fighting to the end
carrying a light for their
lost loved ones and friends
You’re the champions –
In my eyes you are all stars.
And you deserve every bit
of goodness on this earth
Addiction puts blinkers on your
eyes, but recovery removes the curse.
Please understand, it isn’t
easy, it is a daily fight
but with time, care and
a lot of love, I am grateful
to have been given another
chance to try at life.
I am an addict
But I am also a survivor
And freedom tastes so
very, very nice.
Nov 8, 2020
Nov 8, 2020 at 5:51 PM UTC
I am an addict
I am a mother
I am a daughter
A sister, a friend.
I am an addict
and I live under
The spell addiction sends
right through my bones,
my mind, my heart, my soul
I am an addict
and I have never felt so small
I am an addict
I told myself
As I held my head in shame
I am an addict
and I cannot live with all this pain
I am an addict
I deserve nothing but the worst
I am an addict and
I live under this curse.
Success
I cannot have it (I told myself)
The right to a good life
I am an addict
I’ve caused too much pain and strife.
Content
I cannot have it (I told myself)
I don’t deserve to smile
I am an addict and
I am at the bottom of the pile
I am a survivor
I am a warrior
I am a Queen
But
I had a habit
That dampened all of my dreams
I am a fighter, a writer
I am clever, kind, caring and strong
I am an addict
but under labels I do not belong
I am a women, a human
Who sadly had to break
To be transformed into
The champion she is evolving
into today
I am an addict and
although yes, I do lust
for drink and drugs
I now have a Higher Power
I can trust, who showers
me with strength, guidance and love
I trudged for miles but
with hard work,
The shackles soon fell off
and although yes,
I fell face first
deep into the mud
I wiped my eyes,
squeaky clean and
I truly felt Gods love.
I began to breathe, to believe
in myself, in all my worth
and dare I say it……
I was thankful to still have
two feet firmly on this earth.
I remembered how it feels to live,
to dream, to be free
To feel alive –
and just how beautiful
This universe really is
Through my new fresh eyes.
I am an addict
And I do not wish to forget
For that could do me harm
I will always remember
my loved ones, my friends,
my family
Who lost their battles
In this crazy search for calm
and I hold them here
Firmly within my heart.
They provide me with the fuel
When my internal fire
barely starts
But the ones who keep me
Strong, who really ignite
my light
Are the ones sat amongst us,
The ones who daily fight
to stay sober and clean
We’re not perfect but
We try, the survivors,
the warriors, the ones
fighting to the end
carrying a light for their
lost loved ones and friends
You’re the champions –
In my eyes you are all stars.
And you deserve every bit
of goodness on this earth
Addiction puts blinkers on your
eyes, but recovery removes the curse.
Please understand, it isn’t
easy, it is a daily fight
but with time, care and
a lot of love, I am grateful
to have been given another
chance to try at life.
I am an addict
But I am also a survivor
And freedom tastes so
very, very nice.
. © Karen L Hamilton, Sep 2020
A personal poem, written for the message rather than the format. I was asked to write and read a poem at Norwich Cathedral Sep 2020 for those who are struggling addiction and the families/ friends of those who have lost their lives through addiction/ alcoholism
