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A blood donor clinic. The smell of all the blood in the air makes me sick. It brings me back to the time, where blood flowed freely down my arms; when blood stained the wristbands that I wore, to try to hide my pain from the rest of the world, because I told myself I would never be as stupid as any of them. But I was. The smell makes me so dizzy, the floor comes up to swallow me whole, but I have the common sense to run. Far away. I run to the bathroom, and all I can feel is the shuddering of my body as I'm huddled in a corner; being bombarded by images of a darker time; images of my Crimson Decision. I will never forget that day. I thought I was going to give up on everything, because everything had given up on me. I'm glad it didn't turn out that way, I'm glad I had the common sense to stop. There's no way I'm letting the world have the satisfaction of seeing me like this. But every once in a while, I fall back into my crimson state; where my body shudders and shakes, and my mind falls inwards, dragging my feelings to one central point, where hell is begging for my soul. A blood donor clinic. The smell of all the blood in the air makes me sick. I could bleed you a pint faster than that puny needle could get, but I have the common sense, to re-think my Crimson Decision.
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Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 at 8:47 PM UTC
My Crimson Decision
A blood donor clinic. The smell of all the blood in the air makes me sick. It brings me back to the time, where blood flowed freely down my arms; when blood stained the wristbands that I wore, to try to hide my pain from the rest of the world, because I told myself I would never be as stupid as any of them. But I was. The smell makes me so dizzy, the floor comes up to swallow me whole, but I have the common sense to run. Far away. I run to the bathroom, and all I can feel is the shuddering of my body as I'm huddled in a corner; being bombarded by images of a darker time; images of my Crimson Decision. I will never forget that day. I thought I was going to give up on everything, because everything had given up on me. I'm glad it didn't turn out that way, I'm glad I had the common sense to stop. There's no way I'm letting the world have the satisfaction of seeing me like this. But every once in a while, I fall back into my crimson state; where my body shudders and shakes, and my mind falls inwards, dragging my feelings to one central point, where hell is begging for my soul. A blood donor clinic. The smell of all the blood in the air makes me sick. I could bleed you a pint faster than that puny needle could get, but I have the common sense, to re-think my Crimson Decision.
alicia-strong
Written by
Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 at 8:47 PM UTC
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