alicia-strong - Hello Poetry

I look in the mirror, and what do I see? Bitter disappointment staring back at me. It seems no matter what I do, I just can't seem to get through to you. I'm clawing away at what's left of me. and people won't let the pieces be. I shed those pieces for a reason. I'm sick of being stuck in this rainy season. Walking around with a cloud above my head. Sometimes I think I'd much rather be dead. Sometimes...

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Dec 26, 2013

Dec 26, 2013 at 11:43 AM UTC

Hopelessness

I look in the mirror, and what do I see? Bitter disappointment staring back at me. It seems no matter what I do, I just can't seem to get through to you. I'm clawing away at what's left of me. and people won't let the pieces be. I shed those pieces for a reason. I'm sick of being stuck in this rainy season. Walking around with a cloud above my head. Sometimes I think I'd much rather be dead. Sometimes...

17

Death stalks the corners of my vision, clouds my thoughts, poor judgement, bad decisions. A fog sets in. Smothering everything I thought I loved. ...did it? Did it win? Did I lose? Indecisive. Distracted. Overwhelmed. I feel like giving up. But I can't disappoint you. You make my dark days seem like a distant memory and my troubles fly away with just a look. You fill my soul with laughter you fill my heart with joy and you fill my life with happiness. Meaning. Purpose. Beauty. Death may have its cold dark, lifeless hands tight around my neck. But you are my shield. Nick, you are truly my Lethe, my Love, my Life.

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Dec 24, 2013

Dec 24, 2013 at 8:24 PM UTC

Querencia

Death stalks the corners of my vision, clouds my thoughts, poor judgement, bad decisions. A fog sets in. Smothering everything I thought I loved. ...did it? Did it win? Did I lose? Indecisive. Distracted. Overwhelmed. I feel like giving up. But I can't disappoint you. You make my dark days seem like a distant memory and my troubles fly away with just a look. You fill my soul with laughter you fill my heart with joy and you fill my life with happiness. Meaning. Purpose. Beauty. Death may have its cold dark, lifeless hands tight around my neck. But you are my shield. Nick, you are truly my Lethe, my Love, my Life.

35

There was a strange moment where time itself seemed to slow down to a hundredth of a second where everything was perfect. Maybe it was just the last vestiges of the sunset dancing off your hair, or maybe it was just a trick of the eye. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just, because I like the way you smoke, the way the colour accents your eyes, in the mere moments that pass as you exhale. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just because your smile ignited sparks, that warmed me like the soft glow of a candle as darkness started to fall. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just, the way your voice lifted my spirits as if nothing at all, could make you happier. For a moment, there was perfection. But for a lifetime, there was true happiness.

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Oct 7, 2013

Oct 7, 2013 at 9:11 PM UTC

Rasasvada

There was a strange moment where time itself seemed to slow down to a hundredth of a second where everything was perfect. Maybe it was just the last vestiges of the sunset dancing off your hair, or maybe it was just a trick of the eye. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just, because I like the way you smoke, the way the colour accents your eyes, in the mere moments that pass as you exhale. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just because your smile ignited sparks, that warmed me like the soft glow of a candle as darkness started to fall. But for a moment, there was perfection. Maybe it was just, the way your voice lifted my spirits as if nothing at all, could make you happier. For a moment, there was perfection. But for a lifetime, there was true happiness.

30

When my heart beat fades away, will my wings unfold? When my eyes close, will your heart turn colder? Did you know that I had, no one but you? Did you know the ghosts chased me? Will I be just like them, when my wings unfold? Hidden under a veil of snow, will your heart turn colder? Hidden under a veil of snow, will my ghost become older? Nothing but a cold, faded memory, lying amidst fragile angels of ice and snow and long forgotten sorrow. Will my wings unfold? Or will your heart become cold? When my eyes close, and my heart slows, only the angels will know.

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Sep 29, 2013

Sep 29, 2013 at 7:35 PM UTC

Will My Ghost Find Freedom?

When my heart beat fades away, will my wings unfold? When my eyes close, will your heart turn colder? Did you know that I had, no one but you? Did you know the ghosts chased me? Will I be just like them, when my wings unfold? Hidden under a veil of snow, will your heart turn colder? Hidden under a veil of snow, will my ghost become older? Nothing but a cold, faded memory, lying amidst fragile angels of ice and snow and long forgotten sorrow. Will my wings unfold? Or will your heart become cold? When my eyes close, and my heart slows, only the angels will know.

22

Self destruct and rebuild until you love yourself again.

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Sep 27, 2013

Sep 27, 2013 at 11:07 PM UTC

Drunk

Self destruct and rebuild until you love yourself again.

3

So close to feeling dead, so close to feeling alive.

0

Sep 27, 2013

Sep 27, 2013 at 10:31 PM UTC

The Balance

So close to feeling dead, so close to feeling alive.

2

Being suicidal Is like living in a smothering fog, But like all fog, Sometimes it clears. Being suicidal Takes away being capable Of fully appreciating life. It feeds off your fears. Being suicidal Is an unimaginable suffering That is all too real. I've been here for years. But being suicidal After the fog lifts, You appreciate the tiniest bits of life So much, that it brings tears.

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Sep 16, 2013

Sep 16, 2013 at 3:33 PM UTC

The Benefits of Immeasurable Suffering

Being suicidal Is like living in a smothering fog, But like all fog, Sometimes it clears. Being suicidal Takes away being capable Of fully appreciating life. It feeds off your fears. Being suicidal Is an unimaginable suffering That is all too real. I've been here for years. But being suicidal After the fog lifts, You appreciate the tiniest bits of life So much, that it brings tears.

16

Dazed Confused Zone out What the **** is that sound? That buzzing So insistent in my ears Like a parasite Feeding on my ******* fears. I hear it when I'm drunk That buzzing That leering sound Makes me want to carve out The parts of me that I hate. How do you stop The only thing That makes you feel Sane? Or anything at all For that matter. I try so hard to ignore the tug But this buzzing is invading my highs. The only thing that used to keep me feeling okay.

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Sep 16, 2013

Sep 16, 2013 at 3:27 PM UTC

Drug Haze

Dazed Confused Zone out What the **** is that sound? That buzzing So insistent in my ears Like a parasite Feeding on my ******* fears. I hear it when I'm drunk That buzzing That leering sound Makes me want to carve out The parts of me that I hate. How do you stop The only thing That makes you feel Sane? Or anything at all For that matter. I try so hard to ignore the tug But this buzzing is invading my highs. The only thing that used to keep me feeling okay.

21

If only you knew Just how violently You broke me.

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Sep 16, 2013

Sep 16, 2013 at 3:24 PM UTC

Brenty

If only you knew Just how violently You broke me.

3

One thousand times Has the knife kissed my skin So many times After I said I wouldn't give in. One thousand times Have I allowed myself To cry crimson tears To hide my fears. You would think After a while Cutting wouldn't help anymore. But it turns out I cut more every time To the point I can't stop. One thousand times I have failed myself. But that's one thousand times I could have taken my life. And I didn't. I may have failed myself, But I still have time to turn around And right one thousand wrongs.

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Sep 16, 2013

Sep 16, 2013 at 3:09 PM UTC

One Thousand Failures

One thousand times Has the knife kissed my skin So many times After I said I wouldn't give in. One thousand times Have I allowed myself To cry crimson tears To hide my fears. You would think After a while Cutting wouldn't help anymore. But it turns out I cut more every time To the point I can't stop. One thousand times I have failed myself. But that's one thousand times I could have taken my life. And I didn't. I may have failed myself, But I still have time to turn around And right one thousand wrongs.

20