this place was never clean
drugs were passed around more than hope ever was
gangs were something you learned about before you were even old enough to understand death
more violence than street signs
more sirens than birds at night
more trash on lawns than ferns
but somehow
it still got worse
now it feels like every person i know is disappearing into something i don't want to see
friends i grew up with are getting arrested
starting fights like they had something to prove
getting high so often their eyes look more like the bodies of the people we already lost than alive
throwing punches in the same playgrounds we used to throw footballs across as kids
and i just stand there watching it happen
watching people lose themselves piece by piece
this town feels like it eats people alive
like it takes whatever softness is left in you
and replaces it with anger
with violence
with hopelessness
every year the streets feel darker
every year the kids look more exhausted
like everybody already knows how their story ends
and stopped trying to outrun it
shoelaces hanging from power lines
another story on the news
another house shot up on Lovejoy
nobody cooperating
and honestly
i don’t blame them
people here don’t shoot to scare you
they shoot to leave something permanent behind
to make sure everybody understands the message
that’s the part nobody outside this place understands
how exhausting it is trying to stay good somewhere that keeps begging you to become worse
to fall back into the anger you came from
because i did try
i tried so hard to become better than the things around me
learned to keep my head down
learned to walk away from fights even when every part of me wanted to swing first
swallowed anger until it felt corrosive inside my chest
forced myself not to follow everybody else down the same road
because i know what happens when i become that person
when i was at my worst
i felt untouchable and completely empty at the same time
free in the ugliest way possible
nothing mattered
everything felt rotten
and i wanted to disappear with it
i fought my way out of that mindset
out of that hole that kept trying to bury me alive
but now i look around
and it feels like this place keeps pulling everyone back toward the same ending
like no matter how hard you fight to become something better
this town keeps its hands around your throat
trying to turn you back into it too
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 6:59 AM UTC
this place was never clean
drugs were passed around more than hope ever was
gangs were something you learned about before you were even old enough to understand death
more violence than street signs
more sirens than birds at night
more trash on lawns than ferns
but somehow
it still got worse
now it feels like every person i know is disappearing into something i don't want to see
friends i grew up with are getting arrested
starting fights like they had something to prove
getting high so often their eyes look more like the bodies of the people we already lost than alive
throwing punches in the same playgrounds we used to throw footballs across as kids
and i just stand there watching it happen
watching people lose themselves piece by piece
this town feels like it eats people alive
like it takes whatever softness is left in you
and replaces it with anger
with violence
with hopelessness
every year the streets feel darker
every year the kids look more exhausted
like everybody already knows how their story ends
and stopped trying to outrun it
shoelaces hanging from power lines
another story on the news
another house shot up on Lovejoy
nobody cooperating
and honestly
i don’t blame them
people here don’t shoot to scare you
they shoot to leave something permanent behind
to make sure everybody understands the message
that’s the part nobody outside this place understands
how exhausting it is trying to stay good somewhere that keeps begging you to become worse
to fall back into the anger you came from
because i did try
i tried so hard to become better than the things around me
learned to keep my head down
learned to walk away from fights even when every part of me wanted to swing first
swallowed anger until it felt corrosive inside my chest
forced myself not to follow everybody else down the same road
because i know what happens when i become that person
when i was at my worst
i felt untouchable and completely empty at the same time
free in the ugliest way possible
nothing mattered
everything felt rotten
and i wanted to disappear with it
i fought my way out of that mindset
out of that hole that kept trying to bury me alive
but now i look around
and it feels like this place keeps pulling everyone back toward the same ending
like no matter how hard you fight to become something better
this town keeps its hands around your throat
trying to turn you back into it too