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Smoke by Michael R. Burch The hazy, smoke-filled skies of summer I remember well; farewell was on my mind, and the thoughts that I can't tell rang bells within (the din was in) my mind, and I can't say if what we had was good or bad, or where it is today ... The endless days of summer's haze I still recall today; she spoke and smoky skies stood still as summer slipped away ... [We loved and life we left alone and deftly was it done; we sang our song all summer long beneath the sultry sun.] I wrote this early poem as a boy, age 14, after seeing an ad for the movie "Summer of ’42," which starred the lovely Jennifer O’Neill and a young male actor who might have been my nebbish twin. I didn’t see the R-rated movie at the time: too young, according to my parents! But something about the ad touched me; even thinking about it today makes me feel sad and a bit out of sorts. The movie came out in 1971, so the poem was probably written around 1971-1972. But it could have been a bit later, with me working from memory. In any case, the poem was published in my high school literary journal, The Lantern, in 1976. The poem is “rhyme rich” with eleven rhymes in the first four lines: well, farewell, tell, bells, within, din, in, say, today, had, bad. The last two lines appear in brackets because they were part of the original poem but I later chose to publish just the first six lines. I didn’t see the full movie until 2001, around age 43, after which I addressed two poems to my twin, Hermie … Listen, Hermie by Michael R. Burch Listen, Hermie . . . you can hear the strangled roar of water inundating that lost shore . . . and you can see how white she shone that distant night, before you blinked and she was gone . . . But is she ever really gone from you . . . or are her lips the sweeter since you kissed them once: her waist wasp-thin beneath your hands always, her stockinged shoeless feet for that one dance still whispering their rustling nylon trope of―“Love me. Love me. Love me. Give me hope that love exists beyond these dunes, these stars.” How white her prim brassiere, her waist-high briefs; how lustrous her white slip. And as you danced― how white her eyes, her skin, her eager teeth. She reached, but not for *** . . . for more . . . for you . . . You cannot quite explain, but what is true is true despite our fumbling in the dark. Hold tight. Hold tight. The years that fall away still make us what we are. If love exists, we find it in ourselves, grown wan and gray, within a weathered hand, a wrinkled cheek. She cannot touch you now, but I would reach across the years to touch that chord in you which sang the pangs of love, and play it true. Tell me, Hermie by  Michael R. Burch Tell me, Hermie ― when you saw her white brassiere crash to the floor as she stepped from her waist-high briefs into your arms, and mutual griefs ― did you feel such fathomless awe as mystics in artists’ reliefs? How is it that dark night remains forever with us ― present still ― despite her absence and the pains of dreams relived without the thrill of any ecstasy but this ― one brief, eternal, transient kiss? She was an angel; you helped us see the beauty of love’s iniquity. Keywords/Tags: young, love, summer, smoke, smoky, haze, fog, foggy, cloudy, sky, skies, heat, summer heat, ****** heat, smog, mist, sultry, Summer of '42, Jennifer O’Neill, Hermie, sky, skies, cloud, clouds, cloudy, farewell, goodbye, memory, memories, teen, teenage, teen love, boy, boyfriend, first love, World War II, confusion, regret, recall, recollection, memory, remembrance Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far . . . on to the stars so faint and far. Analogy by Michael R. Burch Our embrace is like a forest lying blanketed in snow; you, the lily, are enchanted by each shiver trembling through; I, the snowfall, cling in earnest as I press so close to you. You dream that you now are sheltered; I dream that I may break through. I believe I wrote this early poem around age 18. alien by michael r. burch there are mornings in england when, riddled with light, the Blueberries gleam at us— plump, sweet and fragrant. but i am so small ... what do i know of the ways of the Daffodils? “beware of the Nettles!” we go laughing and singing, but somehow, i, ... i know i am lost. i do not belong to this Earth or its Songs. and yet i am singing ... the sun—so mild; my cheeks are like roses; my skin—so fair. i spent a long time there before i realized: They have no faces, no bodies, no voices. i was always alone. and yet i keep singing: the words will come if only i hear. I believe I wrote this early poem around age 19, then revised it nearly a half-century later. One of my earliest memories is picking blueberries amid the brambles surrounding the tiny English hamlet, Mattersey, where I and my mother lived with her parents while my American father was stationed in Thule, Greenland, where dependents were not allowed. Was that because of the weather or the nukes? In any case, England is free of dangerous animals, but one must be wary of the copious thorns and nettles. Lullaby by Michael R. Burch, age 25 Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight— it's all right. My newborn son, cease sighing, softly, slowly close your eyes, purse your tiny lips and kiss the crisp, cool night a warm goodbye. Fierce yet gentle fragment, the better part of me, why don't you dream a dream deep as eternity, until sunrise? Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight — it's all right. I wrote this early poem around age 25. As the Flame Flowers by Michael R. Burch As the flame flowers, a flower, aflame, arches leaves skyward, aching for rain, but all it encounters are anguish and pain as the flame sputters sparks that ignite at its stem. Yet how this frail flower aflame at the stem reaches through night, through the staggering pain, for a sliver of silver that sparkles like rain, as it flutters in fear of the flowering flame. Mesmerized by a wavering crescent-shaped gem that glistens like water though drier than sand, the flower extends itself, trembles, and then dies as scorched leaves burst aflame in the wind. I believe I wrote the first version of this early poem in my late teens or early twenties, wasn’t happy with it, put it aside, then revised nearly 20 years later, in 1998, then again another 20 years later in 2020. The flower aflame yet entranced by the moon is, of course, a metaphor for destructive love and its passions. Ashes by Michael R. Burch A fire is dying; ashes remain . . . ashes and anguish, ashes and pain. A fire is fading though once it burned bright . . . ashes once embers are ashes tonight. I wrote this early poem either in my late teens or early twenties: I will guess somewhere around age 18-19, but no later than age 21 according to the dated copy I have. This is a companion poem to “As the Flame Flowers,” perhaps written the same day. This is one of my early poems, written as a teenager in high school around age 18. The first version may have been a bit earlier than 1976, but I’m not sure about this one. I seem to remember submitting it to the World of Poetry, which I didn’t realize was a vanity press at the time. I think the poem may have been published, but it’s not worth the time to verify. The Beautiful People by Michael R. Burch They are the beautiful people, and their shadows dance through the valleys of the moon to the listless strains of an ancient tune. Oh, no ... please don't touch them, for their smiles might fade. Don’t go ... don’t approach them as they promenade, for they waltz through a vacuum and dream they're not made of the dust and the dankness to which men degrade. They are the beautiful people, and their spirits sighed in their mothers’ wombs as the distant echoings of unearthly tunes. Winds do not blow there and storms do not rise, and each hair has its place and each gown has its price. And they whirl through the darkness untouched by our cares as we watch them and long for a "life" such as theirs. Rag Doll by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 On an angry sea a rag doll is tossed back and forth between cruel waves that have marred her easy beauty and ripped away her clothes. And her arms, once smoothly tanned, are gashed and torn and peeling as she dances to the waters’ rockings and reelings. She’s a rag doll now, a toy of the sea, and never before has she been so free, or so uneasy. She’s slammed by the hammering waves, the flesh shorn away from her bones, and her silent lips must long to scream, and her corpse must long to find its home. For she’s a rag doll now, at the mercy of all the sea’s relentless power, cruelly being ravaged with every passing hour. Her eyes are gone; her lips are swollen shut to the pounding waves whose waters reached out to fill her mouth with puddles of agony. Her limbs are limp; her skull is crushed; her hair hangs like seaweed in trailing tendrils draped across a never-ending sea. For she’s a rag doll now, a worn-out toy with which the waves will play ten thousand thoughtless games until her bed is made. "Rag Doll" is an early poem written around age 17. EARLY POEMS: HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, PART I These are early poems of mine, written in high school and college… Liquid Assets by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 And so I have loved you, and so I have lost, accrued disappointment, ledgered its cost, debited wisdom, credited pain … My assets remaining are liquid again. I wrote this poem in college after my younger sister decided to major in accounting. In fact, the poem was originally titled “Accounting.” At another point I titled it “Liquidity Crisis.” absinthe sea by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 i hold in my hand a goblet of absinthe the bitter green liqueur reflects the dying sunset over the sea and the darkling liquid froths up over the rim of my cup to splash into the free, churning waters of the sea i do not drink i do not drink the liqueur, for I sail on an absinthe sea that stretches out unendingly into the gathering night its waters are no less green and no less bitter, nor does the sun strike them with a kinder light they both harbor night, and neither shall shelter me neither shall shelter me from the anger of the wind or the cruelty of the sun for I sail in the goblet of some Great God who gazes out over a greater sea, and when my life is done, perhaps it will be because He lifted His goblet and sipped my sea. I seem to remember writing this poem in college, just because I liked the sound of the word “absinthe.” I had no idea, really, what it was or what absinthe looked or tasted like, beyond something I had read somewhere. ***Am I ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Am I inconsequential; do I matter not at all? Am I just a snowflake, to sparkle, then to fall? Am I only chaff? Of what use am I? Am I just a feeble flame, to flicker, then to die? Am I inadvertent? For what reason am I here? Am I just a ripple in a pool that once was clear? Am I insignificant? Will time pass me by? Am I just a flower, to live one day, then die? Am I unimportant? Do I matter either way? Or am I just an echo— soon to fade away? “Am I” is one of my very early poems; if I remember correctly, it was written the same day as “Time,” the poem below. The refrain “Am I” is an inversion of the biblical “I Am” supposedly given to Moses as the name of God. I was around 14 or 15 when I wrote the two poems. ***Time ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Time, where have you gone? What turned out so short, had seemed like so long. Time, where have you flown? What seemed like mere days were years come and gone. Time, see what you've done: for now I am old, when once I was young. Time, do you even know why your days, minutes, seconds preternaturally fly? "Time" is a companion piece to "Am I." It appeared in my high school sophomore project notebook "Poems" along with "Playmates," so I was probably around 14 or 15 when I wrote it. Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far . . . on to the stars so faint and far. Ambition by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 Men speak of their “ambition” and I smile to hear them say that within them burns such fire, such a longing to be great ... But I laugh at their “Ambition” as their wistfulness amasses; I seek Her tongue’s indulgence and Her parted legs’ crevasses. I was very ambitious about my poetry, even as a teenager. I wrote "Ambition" around age 18 or 19. as Time walked by by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 yesterday i dreamed of us again, when the air, like honey, trickled through cushioning grasses, softly flowing, pouring itself upon the masses of dreaming flowers ... then the sly, impish Hours were tentative, coy and shy while the sky swirled all its colors together, giving pleasure to the appreciative eye as Time walked by. sunbright, your smile could fill the darkest night with brilliant light or thrill the dullest day with ecstasy so long as Time did not impede our way; until It did, It did. for soon the summer hid her sunny smile ... the honeyed breaths of wind became cold, biting to the bone as Time sped on, fled from us to be gone Forevermore. this morning i awakened to the thought that you were near with honey hair and happy smile lying sweetly by my side, but then i remembered—you were gone, that u’d been toppled long ago like an orchid felled by snow as the bloom called “us” sank slowly down to die and Time roared by. ***Gentry ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 The men shined their shoes and the ladies chose their clothes; the rifle stocks were varnished till they were untarnished by a speck of dust. The men trimmed their beards; the ladies rouged their lips; the horses were groomed until the time loomed for them to ride. The men mounted their horses, the ladies did the same; then in search of game they went, a pleasant time they spent, and killed the fox. "Gentry” was published in my college literary journal, Homespun, in 1977, along with "Smoke" and four other poems of mine. I have never been a fan of hunting or fishing, or inflicting pain on other creatures. Of You by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 There is little to write of in my life, and little to write off, as so many do ... so I will write of you. You are the sunshine after the rain, the rainbow in between; you are the joy that follows fierce pain; you are the best that I've seen in my life. You are the peace that follows long strife; you are tranquility. You are an oasis in a dry land and you are the one for me! You are my love; you are my life; you are my all in all. Your hand is the hand that holds me aloft ... without you I would fall. This was the first poem of mine that appeared in my high school journal, the* Lantern*, and thus it was my first poem to appear on a printed page. A fond memory, indeed. The Communion of Sighs by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 There was a moment without the sound of trumpets or a shining light, but with only silence and darkness and a cool mist felt more than seen. I was eighteen, my heart pounding wildly within me like a fist. Expectation hung like a cry in the night, and your eyes shone like the corona of a comet. There was an instant . . . without words, but with a deeper communion, as clothing first, then inhibitions fell; liquidly our lips met —feverish, wet— forgotten, the tales of heaven and hell, in the immediacy of our fumbling union . . . when the rest of the world became distant. Then the only light was the moon on the rise, and the only sound, the communion of sighs. I wrote this poem around age 18. ***Burn, Ovid ***by Michael R. Burch “Burn Ovid”—Austin Clarke Sunday School, Faith Free Will Baptist, 1973: I sat imaging watery folds of pale silk encircling her waist. Explicit *** was the day’s “hot” topic (how breathlessly I imagined hers) as she taught us the perils of lust fraught with inhibition. I found her unaccountably beautiful, rolling implausible nouns off the edge of her tongue: *adultery, fornication, ************ ****** Acts made suddenly plausible by the faint blush of her unrouged cheeks, by her pale lips accented only by a slight quiver, a trepidation. What did those lustrous folds foretell of our uncommon desire? Why did she cross and uncross her legs lovely and long in their taupe sheaths? Why did her ******* rise pointedly, as if indicating a direction? *“Come unto me, (unto me),” together, we sang,* *cheek to breast, lips on lips, devout, afire,* *my hands up her skirt, her pants at her knees:* *all night long, all night long, in the heavenly choir.* This poem is set at Faith Christian Academy, which I attended for a year during the ninth grade, in 1972-1973. While the poem definitely had its genesis there, I believe I revised it more than once and didn't finish it till 2001, nearly 28 years later, according to my notes on the poem. The next poem, *** 101," was also written about my experiences at FCA that year. *** 101 ***by Michael R. Burch That day the late spring heat steamed through the windows of a Crayola-yellow schoolbus crawling its way up the backwards slopes of Nowheresville, North Carolina ... Where we sat exhausted from the day’s skulldrudgery and the unexpected waves of muggy, summer-like humidity ... Giggly first graders sat two abreast behind senior high students sprouting their first sparse beards, their implausible bosoms, their stranger affections ... The most unlikely coupling— Lambert, 18, the only college prospect on the varsity basketball team, the proverbial talldarkhandsome swashbuckling cocksman, grinning ... Beside him, Wanda, 13, bespectacled, in her primproper attire and pigtails, staring up at him, fawneyed, disbelieving ... And as the bus filled with the improbable musk of her, as she twitched impaled on his finger like a dead frog jarred to life by electrodes, I knew ... that love is a forlorn enterprise, that I would never understand it. This companion poem to "Burn, Ovid" is also set at Faith Christian Academy, in 1972-1973. Bound by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Now it is winter—the coldest night. And as the light of the streetlamp casts strange shadows to the ground, I have lost what I once found in your arms. Now it is winter—the coldest night. And as the light of distant Venus fails to penetrate dark panes, I have remade all my chains and am bound. This poem appeared in my high school journal, the Lantern, in 1976. It was originally titled "Why Did I Go?" Paradise by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 There’s a sparkling stream And clear blue lake A home to ****** Duck and drake Where the waters flow And the winds are soft And the sky is full Of birds aloft Where the long grass waves In the gentle breeze And the setting sun Is a pure cerise Where the gentle deer Though timid and shy Are not afraid As we pass them by Where the morning dew Sparkles in the grass And the lake’s as clear As a looking glass Where the trees grow straight And tall and green Where the air is pure And fresh and clean Where the bluebird trills Her merry song As robins and skylarks Sing along A place where nature Is at her best A place of solitude Of quiet and rest This is one of my very earliest poems, written as a song. It was “published” in a high school assignment poetry notebook. All My Children by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-16 It is May now, gentle May, and the sun shines pleasantly upon the blousy flowers of this backyard cemet'ry, upon my children as they sleep. Oh, there is Hank in the daisies now, with a mound of earth for a pillow; his face as hard as his monument, but his voice as soft as the wind through the willows. And there is Meg beside the spring that sings her endless sleep. Though it’s often said of stiller waters, sometimes quicksilver streams run deep. And there is Frankie, little Frankie, tucked in safe at last, a child who weakened and died too soon, but whose heart was always steadfast. And there is Mary by the bushes where she hid so well, her face as dark as their berries, yet her eyes far darker still. And Andy ... there is Andy, sleeping in the clover, a child who never saw the sun so soon his life was over. And Em'ly, oh my Em'ly ... the prettiest of all ... now she's put aside her dreams of lovers dark and tall for dreams dreamed not at all. It is May now, merry May and the sun shines pleasantly upon these ardent gardens, on the graves of all my children ... But they never did depart; they still live within my heart. This is a poem I had forgotten for nearly 50 years until another poet, Robert Lavett Smith, mentioned the poem "We Are Seven" by William Wordsworth. As I read Wordsworth's poem about a little girl who refused to admit that some of her siblings were missing, I remembered a poem I had written as a teenager about a mother who clung as tenaciously to the memory of her children. The line "It is May now, gentle May" popped into my head and helped me locate the poem in my archives. I believe I wrote this poem about the same time as "Jessamyn's Song," which would place it around 1972-1974 at age 14-16, or thereabouts. I can tell it's one of my early poems because I was still allowing myself archaisms like "cemet'ry" which I would have avoided in my late teens and twenties. It feels a bit older than "Jessamyn's Song" so I will guess 1972. It is admittedly a sentimental poem, but then human beings are sentimental creatures. Dance With Me by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Dance with me to the fiddles’ plaintive harmonies. Enchantingly, each highstrung string, each yearning key, each a thread within the threnody, whispers "Waltz!" then sets us free to wander, dancing aimlessly. Let us kiss beneath the stars as we slowly meet ... we'll part laughing gaily as we go to measure love’s arpeggios. Yes, dance with me, enticingly; press your lips to mine, then flee. The night is young, the stars are wild; embrace me now, my sweet, beguiled, and dance with me. The curtains are drawn, the stage is set —patterned all in grey and jet— where couples in such darkness met —careless airy silhouettes— to try love's timeless pirouettes. They, too, spun across the lawn to die in shadowy dark verdant. But dance with me. Sweet Merrilee, don't cry, I see the ironies of all the years within the moonlight on your tears, and every ****** has her fears ... So laugh with me unheedingly; love's gaiety is not for those who fail to heed the music's flow, but it is ours. Now fade away like summer rain, then pirouette ... the dance of stars that waltz among night's meteors must be the dance we dance tonight. Then come again— like winter wind. Your slender body as you sway belies the ripeness of your age, for a woman's body burns tonight beneath your gown of ****** white— a woman's ******* now rise and fall in answer to an ancient call, and a woman's hips—soft, yet full— now gently at your garments pull. So dance with me, sweet Merrilee ... the music bids us, "Waltz!" Don't flee; let us kiss beneath the stars. Love's passing pains will leave no scars as we whirl beneath false moons and heed the fiddle’s plaintive tunes ... Oh, Merrilee, the curtains are drawn, the stage is set, we, too, are stars beyond night's depths. So dance with me. I distinctly remember writing this poem my freshman year in college, after meeting George King, who taught the creative writing classes there. I would have been 18 when I started the poem, but it didn’t always cooperate and I seem to remember working on it the following year as well. Dance With Me (II) by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 While the music plays remembrance strays toward a grander time . . . Let's dance. Shadows rising, mute and grey, obscure those fervent yesterdays of youth and gay romance, but time is slipping by, and now those days just don't seem real, somehow . . . Why don't we dance? This music is a memory, for it's of another time . . . a slower, stranger time. We danced—remember how we danced?— uncaring, merry, wild and free. Remember how you danced with me? Cheek to cheek and breast to breast, your ******* hard against my chest, we danced and danced and danced. We cannot dance that way again, for the years have borne away the flame and left us only ashes, but think of all those dances, and dance with me. I believe I wrote this poem around the same time as the original “Dance With Me,” this time from the perspective of the same lovers many years later. Impotent by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-21 Tonight my pen is barren of passion, spent of poetry. I hear your name upon the rain and yet it cannot comfort me. I feel the pain of dreams that wane, of poems that falter, losing force. I write again words without end, but I cannot control their course . . . Tonight my pen is sullen and wants no more of poetry. I hear your voice as if a choice, but how can I respond, or flee? I feel a flame I cannot name that sends me searching for a word, but there is none not over-done, unless it's one I never heard. ***Lullaby ***by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight— it's all right. My newborn son, cease sighing, softly, slowly close your eyes, purse your tiny lips and kiss the crisp, cool night a warm goodbye. Fierce yet gentle fragment, the better part of me, why don't you dream a dream deep as eternity, until sunrise? Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight — it's all right. ***Say You Love Me ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 Joy and anguish surge within my soul; contesting there, they cannot be controlled, for grinding yearnings grip me like a vise. *Stars are burning; it's almost morning.* Dreams of dreams of dreams that I have dreamed dance before me, forming formless scenes; and now, at last, the feeling grows *as stars, declining, bow to morning.* And you are music echoing through dreams, rising from some far-off lyric spring; oh, somewhere in the night I hear you sing. *Stars on fire form a choir.* Now dawn's fierce brightness burns within your eyes; you laugh at me as dancing embers die. You touch me so and still I don't know why . . . *But say you love me. Say you love me.* With my daughter, by a waterfall by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 By a fountain that slowly shed its rainbows of water, I led my youngest daughter. And the rhythm of the waves that casually lazed made her sleepy as I rocked her. By that fountain I finally felt fulfillment of which I had dreamt feeling May’s warm breezes pelt petals upon me. And I held her close in the crook of my arm as she slept, breathing harmony. By a river that brazenly rolled, my daughter and I strolled toward the setting sun, and the cadence of the cold, chattering waters that flowed reminded us both of an ancient song, so we sang it together as we walked along —unsure of the words, but sure of our love— as a waterfall sighed and the sun died above. This poem was published by my college literary journal, Homespun 1976-1977. Sea Dreams by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 I. In timeless days I've crossed the waves of seaways seldom seen. By the last low light of evening the breakers that careen then dive back to the deep have rocked my ship to sleep, and so I've known the peace of a soul at last at ease there where Time's waters run in concert with the sun. With restless waves I've watched the days’ slow movements, as they hum their antediluvian songs. Sometimes I've sung along, my voice as soft and low as the sea's, while evening slowed to waver at the dim mysterious moonlit rim of dreams no man has known. In thoughtless flight, I've scaled the heights and soared a scudding breeze over endless arcing seas of waves ten miles high. I've sheared the sable skies on wings as soft as sighs and stormed the sun-pricked pitch of sunset’s scarlet-stitched, ebullient dark demise. I've climbed the sun-cleft clouds ten thousand leagues or more above the windswept shores of seas no man has sailed — great seas as grand as hell's, shores littered with the shells of men's "immortal" souls — and I've warred with dark sea-holes whose open mouths implored their depths to be explored. And I've grown and grown and grown till I thought myself the king of every silver thing . . . But sometimes late at night when the sorrowing wavelets sing sad songs of other times, I taste the windborne rime of a well-remembered day on the whipping ocean spray, and I bow my head to pray . . . II. It's been a long, hard day; sometimes I think I work too hard. Tonight I'd like to take a walk down by the sea — down by those salty waves brined with the scent of Infinity, down by that rocky shore, down by those cliffs that I used to climb when the wind was **** with a taste of lime and every dream was a sailor's dream. Then small waves broke light, all frothy and white, over the reefs in the ramblings of night, and the pounding sea —a mariner’s dream— was bound to stir a boy's delight to such a pitch that he couldn't desist, but was bound to splash through the surf in the light of ten thousand stars, all shining so bright. Christ, those nights were fine, like a well-aged wine, yet more scalding than fire with the marrow’s desire. Then desire was a fire burning wildly within my bones, fiercer by far than the frantic foam . . . and every wish was a moan. *Oh, for those days to come again! Oh, for a sea and sailing men! Oh, for a little time!* It's almost nine and I must be back home by ten, and then . . . what then? I have less than an hour to stroll this beach, less than an hour old dreams to reach . . . And then, what then? Tonight I'd like to play old games— games that I used to play with the somber, sinking waves. When their wraithlike fists would reach for me, I'd dance between them gleefully, mocking their witless craze —their eager, unchecked craze— to batter me to death with spray as light as breath. Oh, tonight I'd like to sing old songs— songs of the haunting moon drawing the tides away, songs of those sultry days when the sun beat down till it cracked the ground and the sea gulls screamed in their agony to touch the cooling clouds. The distant cooling clouds. Then the sun shone bright with a different light over different lands, and I was always a pirate in flight. Oh, tonight I'd like to dream old dreams, if only for a while, and walk perhaps a mile along this windswept shore, a mile, perhaps, or more, remembering those days, safe in the soothing spray of the thousand sparkling streams that rush into this sea. I like to slumber in the caves of a sailor's dark sea-dreams . . . oh yes, I'd love to dream, to dream and dream and dream. “Sea Dreams” was one of my more ambitious early poems. The next poem, "Son," is a companion piece to “Sea Dreams” that was written around the same time, age 18. I remember showing this poem to a fellow student and he asked how on earth I came up with a poem about being a father who abandoned his son to live on an island! I think the meter is pretty good for the age at which it was written. Son by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 An island is bathed in blues and greens as a weary sun settles to rest, and the memories singing through the back of my mind lull me to sleep as the tide flows in. Here where the hours pass almost unnoticed, my heart and my home will be till I die, but where you are is where my thoughts go when the tide is high. [etc., in the handwritten version, the father laments abandoning his son] So there where the skylarks sing to the sun as the rain sprinkles lightly around, understand if you can the mind of a man whose conscience so long ago drowned. The People Loved What They Had Loved Before by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 We did not worship at the shrine of tears; we knew not to believe, not to confess. And so, ahemming victors, to false cheers, we wrote off love, we gave a stern address to things that we disapproved of, things of yore. And the people loved what they had loved before. We did not build stone monuments to stand six hundred years and grow more strong and arch like bridges from the people to the Land beyond their reach. Instead, we played a march, pale Neros, sparking flames from door to door. And the people loved what they had loved before. We could not pipe of cheer, or even woe. We played a minor air of Ire (in E). The sheep chose to ignore us, even though, long destitute, we plied our songs for free. We wrote, rewrote and warbled one same score. And the people loved what they had loved before. At last outlandish wailing, we confess, ensued, because no listeners were left. We built a shrine to tears: our goddess less divine than man, and, like us, long bereft. We stooped to love too late, too Learned to ***** And the people loved what they had loved before. Rag Doll by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 On an angry sea a rag doll is tossed back and forth between cruel waves that have marred her easy beauty and ripped away her clothes. And her arms, once smoothly tanned, are gashed and torn and peeling as she dances to the waters’ rockings and reelings. *She’s a rag doll now, a toy of the sea, and never before has she been so free, or so uneasy.* She’s slammed by the hammering waves, the flesh shorn away from her bones, and her silent lips must long to scream, and her corpse must long to find its home. *For she’s a rag doll now, at the mercy of all the sea’s relentless power, cruelly being ravaged with every passing hour.* Her eyes are gone; her lips are swollen shut to the pounding waves whose waters reached out to fill her mouth with puddles of agony. Her limbs are limp; her skull is crushed; her hair hangs like seaweed in trailing tendrils draped across a never-ending sea. *For she’s a rag doll now, a worn-out toy with which the waves will play ten thousand thoughtless games until her bed is made.* Have I been too long at the fair? by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 Have I been too long at the fair? The summer has faded, the leaves have turned brown; the Ferris wheel teeters ... not up, yet not down. Have I been too long at the fair? This is one of my very earliest poems, written around age 15 when we were living with my grandfather in his house on Chilton Street, within walking distance of the Nashville fairgrounds. “Have I been too long at the fair?” was published in my high school literary journal, the Lantern. hey pete by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 for Pete Rose hey pete, it's baseball season and the sun ascends the sky, encouraging a schoolboy's dreams of winter whizzing by; go out, go out and catch it, put it in a jar, set it on a shelf and then you'll be a Superstar. When I was a boy, Pete Rose was my favorite baseball player; this poem is not a slam at him, but rather an ironic jab at the term "superstar." ***Earthbound ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 *Tashunka Witko, better known as Crazy Horse, had a vision of a red-tailed hawk at Sylvan Lake, South Dakota. In his vision he saw himself riding a floating and crazily-dancing spirit horse through a storm as the hawk flew above him, shrieking. When he awoke, a red-tailed hawk was perched near his horse. * Earthbound, and yet I now fly through the clouds that are aimlessly drifting ... so high that no sound echoing by below where the mountains are lifting the sky can be heard. Like a bird, but not meek, like a hawk from a distance regarding its prey, I will shriek, not a word, but a screech, and my terrible clamor will turn them to clay— the sheep, the earthbound. I believe I wrote “Earthbound” as a college sophomore, age 19 or 20. Huntress by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 after Baudelaire Lynx-eyed, cat-like and cruel, you creep across a crevice dropping deep into a dark and doomed domain. Your claws are sheathed. You smile, insane. Rain falls upon your path, and pain pours down. Your paws are pierced. You pause and heed the oft-lamented laws which bid you not begin again till night returns. You wail like wind, the sighing of a soul for sin, and give up hunting for a heart. Till sunset falls again, depart, though hate and hunger urge you—"On!" Heed, hearts, your hope—the break of dawn. Flying by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15-16 i shall rise and try the ****** wings of thought ten thousand times before i fly ... and then i'll sleep and waste ten thousand nights before i dream; but when at last ... i soar the distant heights of undreamt skies where never hawks nor eagles dared to go, as i laugh among the meteors flashing by somewhere beyond the bluest earth-bound seas ... if i'm not told i’m just a man, then i shall know just what I am. This is one of my early "I Am" poems, written around age 16-17. According to my notes, I may have revised the poem later, in 1978, but if so the changes were minor because the poem remains very close to the original. Love Unfolded Like a Flower by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 for Christy Love unfolded like a flower; Pale petals pinked and blushed to see the sky. I came to know you and to trust you in moments lost to springtime slipping by. Then love burst outward, leaping skyward, and untamed blossoms danced against the wind. All I wanted was to hold you; though passion tempted once, we never sinned. Now love's gay petals fade and wither, and winter beckons, whispering a lie. We were friends, but friendships end … yes, friendships end and even roses die. Cameo by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Breathe upon me the breath of life; gaze upon me with sardonyx eyes. Here, where times flies in the absence of light, all ecstasies are intimations of night. Hold me tonight in the spell I have cast; promise what cannot be given. Show me the stairway to heaven. Jacob's-ladder grows all around us; Jacob's ladder was fashioned of onyx. So breathe upon me the breath of life; gaze upon me with sardonic eyes … and, if in the morning I am not wise, at least then I'll know if this dream we call life was worth the surmise. Published by *Borderless Journal *(Singapore) ***Analogy ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Our embrace is like a forest lying blanketed in snow; you, the lily, are enchanted by each shiver trembling through; I, the snowfall, cling in earnest as I press so close to you. You dream that you now are sheltered; I dream that I may break through. Published by Borderless Journal (Singapore) Flight by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 Eagle, raven, blackbird, crow … What you are I do not know. Where you go I do not care. I'm unconcerned whose meal you bear. But as you mount the sun-splashed sky, I only wish that I could fly. I only wish that I could fly. Robin, hawk or whippoorwill … Should men care that you hunger still? I do not wish to see your home. I do not wonder where you roam. But as you scale the sky's bright stairs, I only wish that I were there. I only wish that I were there. Sparrow, lark or chickadee … Your markings I disdain to see. Where you fly concerns me not. I scarcely give your flight a thought. But as you wheel and arc and dive, I, too, would feel so much alive. I, too, would feel so much alive. ***Freedom ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 Freedom is not so much an idea as a feeling of open roads, of the hobo's call, of autumn leaves in brisk breeze reeling before a demon violently stealing all vestiges of the beauty of fall, preparing to burden bare tree limbs with the heaviness of her icy loads. And freedom is not so much a letting go as a seizing of forbidden pleasure, of ***** sport, of all that is delightful and pleasing, each taken totally within its season and exploited to the fullness of its worth though it last but a moment and repeat itself never. Oh, freedom is not so much irresponsibility as a desire to accept all the credit and all the blame for one's deeds, to achieve success or failure on one's own, to require either or both as a consequence of an inner fire, not to shirk one's duty, but to see one's duty become himself—himself to tame. Childhood's End by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20-22 How well I remember those fiery Septembers: dry leaves, dying embers of summers aflame, lay trampled before me and fluttered, imploring the bright, dancing rain to descend once again. Now often I've thought on the meaning of autumn, how the rainbows' enchantments defeated dark clouds while robins repeated ancient songs sagely heeded so wisely when winters before they'd flown south. And still, in remembrance, I've conjured a semblance of childhood and how the world seemed to me then; but early this morning, when, rising and yawning, I found a gray hair … it was all beyond my ken. ***Easter, in Jerusalem ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 The streets are hushed from fervent song, for strange lights fill the sky tonight. A slow mist creeps up and down the streets and a star has vanished that once burned bright. Oh Bethlehem, Bethlehem, who tends your flocks tonight? "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep," a Shepherd calls through the markets and the cattle stalls, but a fiery sentinel has passed from sight. Golgotha shudders uneasily, then wearily settles to sleep again, and I wonder how they dream who beat him till he screamed, "Father, forgive them!" Ah Nazareth, Nazareth, now sunken deep into dark sleep, do you heed His plea as demons flee, "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep." The temple trembles violently, a veil lies ripped in two, and a good man lies on a mountainside whose heart was shattered too. Galilee, oh Galilee, do your waters pulse and froth? "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep," the waters creep to form a starlit cross. “Easter, in Jerusalem” was published in my college literary journal, Homespun. ***Gone ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14 Tonight, it is dark and the stars do not shine. A man who is gone was a good friend of mine. We were friends. And the sky was the strangest shade of orange on gold when I awoke to find him gone ... "Gone" is actually gone, destroyed in a moment of frustration along with other poems I have not been able to recreate from memory. At some point between age 14 and 15, I destroyed all the poems I had written, out of frustration. I was able to recreate some of the poems from memory, but not all. Canticle: an Aubade by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15-16 Misty morning sunlight hails the dawning of new day; dreams drift into drowsiness before they fade away. Dew drops on the green grass speak of splendor in the sun; the silence lauds a songstress and the skillful song she's sung. Among the weeping willows the mist clings to the leaves; and, laughing in the early light among the lemon trees, there goes a brace of bees. Dancing in the depthless blue like small, bright bits of steel, the butterflies flock to the west and wander through dawn's fields. Above the thoughtless traffic of the world, intent on play, a flock of mallard geese in v's dash onward as they race. And dozing in the daylight lies a new-born collie pup, drinking in bright sunlight through small eyes still tightly shut. And high above the meadows, blazing through the warming air, a shaft of brilliant sunshine has started something there … it looks like summer. I distinctly remember writing this poem in Ms. Davenport's class at Maplewood High School. It's not a great poem, but the music is pretty good for a beginner. Eternity beckons . . . by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Eternity beckons . . . the wine becomes fire in my veins. You are a petal, unfolding, cajoling. I am your sun. I will shine with the fierceness of my desire; touched, you will burst into flame. I will shine and again shine and again shine. I will shine. I will shine. You will burn and again burn and again burn. You will burn. You will burn. We will extinguish ourselves in our ecstasy; We will sigh like the wind. We will ebb into darkness, our love become ashes . . . never speaking of sin. Never speaking of sin. Every Man Has a Dream by Michael R. Burch, circa age 23 lines composed at Elliston Square Every man has a dream that he cannot quite touch ... a dream of contentment, of soft, starlit rain, of a breeze in the evening that, rising again, reminds him of something that cannot have been, and he calls this dream love. And each man has a dream that he fears to let live, for he knows: to succumb is to throw away all. So he curses, denies it and locks it within the cells of his heart and he calls it a sin, this madness, this love. But each man in his living falls prey to his dreams, and he struggles, but so he ensures that he falls, and he finds in the end that he cannot deny the joy that he feels or the tears that he cries in the darkness of night for this light he calls love. Every time I think of leaving … by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Every time I think of leaving … I see my mother's eyes staring at me in despair, and I feel the old scar throbbing again. And I think of the father that I never knew; I remember how, as a child, I could never understand not having a father. And when the tears start falling, running slowly down my cheeks, I think of our two sons and all their many dreams— dreams no better than dust the day that I leave. And when my hands start shaking, when my eyes will not adjust, when I know there's no tomorrow for the two of us, then I think of our young daughter who prays, eyes tightly shut, not to lose her mother or father … and I know that I can't leave. Every time I think of going, I close my eyes and see the days we spent together when love was all we dreamed, and I wish that I could find (how I wish that I could find!) a reason to believe. Go down to the hoe-down by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 Go down to the hoe-down. Pause in the pungent, moonless night, watching the partners as they dance; go down . . . don’t you know . . . it's your only chance? Go down to the hoe-down. Go down to the hoe-down, and whirl as you dance through a dream of wine, through a world once your world, through a world without time, through a world rich and rhythmic, through a world full of rhyme. O, go down to the hoe-down. Go down. As they slow down, the couples will whirl to a reel of romance, for the music has called them, and so they must dance. Go down, don't you know that this is your chance? Go down to the hoe-down. Sappho’s Lullaby by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 for Jeremy Hushed yet melodic, the hills and the valleys sleep unaware of the nightingale's call while the dew-laden lilies lie listening, glistening . . . this is their night, the first night of fall. Son, tonight, a woman awaits you; she is more vibrant, more lovely than spring. She'll meet you in moonlight, soft and warm, all alone . . . then you'll know why the nightingale sings. Just yesterday the stars were afire; then how desire flashed through my veins! But now I am older; night has come, I’m alone . . . for you I will sing as the nightingale sings. Belfast's Streets, circa age 14-20 by Michael R. Burch Belfast's streets are strangely silent, deserted for a while, and only shadows wander her alleys, slick and vile with children's darkening blood. Her sidewalks sigh and her cobblestones clack in misery beneath my booted feet, longing to be free from their legacy of blood, and yet there's no relief, for it seems that there's no God. Her sirens scream and her PAs plead and her shops and churches sob, but the city throbs —her heart the mobs that are also her disease— and still there's no relief, for it seems there is no God. I listen to a radio and men who seem to feel that only "right" is real. "We can't give in to men like them, for we have an ideal and God is on our side!" one angrily replies, but the sidewalks seem to chide, clicking like snapped teeth. And if God is on our side, then where is God's relief? And if there is a God, then why is there no love and why is there no peace? "Sweet innocence! this land was wild and better wild again than torn apart beneath the feet of ‘educated' men!" The other screams in rage and hate, and a war's begun that will not end till the show goes off at ten. Now a little girl is singing, walking t'ward me 'cross the street, her voice so high and sweet it hangs upon the air, and her eyes are Irish eyes, and her hair is Irish hair, all red and wild and fair, and she wears a Catholic cross, but she doesn't really care. She's singing to a puppy and hugging him between the verses of her hymn. Now here's a little love and here's a little peace, and maybe here's our Maker, present though unseen, on Belfast's dreary streets. This is one of my earliest poems, as indicated by the occasional use of archaisms. Hills by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 For many years I have fought the rocks and the sand and the weeds, the frost and the floods and the trees of these hills to build myself a home. Now it seems I will fight no longer, but it’s a hard thing for an old warrior to give up. Here in these hills let them lay down my bones where the sun settles wearily to rest, and let my spirit dream in its endless sleep that someday it also shall rise to kiss the morning clouds. This wall of stone that I built of rock hewn by my own hands shall not stand long through the passage of time, and when it lies in cakes of dust and its particles kiss my bones, then the battle that these hills and I fought will finally have been won. But mother Gaia will not shun her wayward son for long; she will take me and cradle me in her mud, cover me with a blanket of snow, then sing me to sleep with a nightingale’s song. Now the night grows cold within me; no more summers shall I see … but, nevertheless, when June comes, my spirit shall wander the paths through the trees that lead to these hills, these ****** lovely hills, and then I shall be free. All the young sailors* *by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 All the young sailors follow the sea, leaving their lovers to live and be free, to brave violent tempests, to ride out wild storms, to dream of new lovers seductive and warm, to drink until sunset then stretch out at dawn in the dew of emotions they don't understand, to follow the sunlight, to flee from the rain, to live out their longings though often in pain, to dream of the children they never shall see while bucking the waves of an unending sea till, racked by harsh coughing, his lungs almost gone, straining to catch one last glimpse of the sun, the last of the sailors finally succumbs, for all the young sailors die young. Hush, my darling by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Hush, my darling; all your tears will never bring again that which Time has taken. And though you’re so ****** lovely that a god might wish to make you his, Time cares not for loveliness; he takes what he will take. Sleep now darling, don’t awaken till the dream is over. Dream of fields of clover dancing in an autumn wind. Lie down at my side and let sleep's soothing tide carry you into an ocean deep. Be silent, world; let her sleep. Do not disturb a child upon her journey mild into the realm of dreams. Sleep, carry her to that sweet state where little girls need not know Fate dashes the dreams of men. Amora’s Complaint by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Will you walk with me tonight? for the moon hangs low and travelers seldom disturb the silence of this ghostly kingdom. We shall not be seen if we linger by this stream that shimmers in the starlight. Will you talk to me awhile? For sounds don’t carry very far; the interminable silence is barely marred by the labored breathing of the "giant" who lies sleeping in caverns fetid and vile, and I crave your immaculate smile. So close to death, the final sleep, he hastens as he lies. Silence louder than his sighs drifts on the languid air toward his musty lair, and all life that it finds, it keeps. And though he sleeps, in dreams content, he mistakes bile for dew, for he knows not what is true. His eyes are worse than blind men's eyes, for the images they “see” disguise how swift and sure is death's descent. His ears hear songs that are not sung; his nostrils scent a faint perfume permeating midnight's gloom, when all the while his rotting flesh heralds worms to view his death. He festers, having long been stung. O, once he was as you are now— full of passion, wild and free, majestic, formed most perfectly. But tonight, hideously deformed, he himself becomes a worm; though he doesn't see that he's changed, somehow. Why, he still calls me his “dearest friend,” although I cannot bear to near that stinking, dying sufferer! He asks me why I stray so far from the "comfort" of his arms . . . Tonight, I said, "This is the end." O, he swore to not let me depart, but when he couldn't even rise to chase me as I leapt the skies, I think he almost understood. He frowned. His skin, like rotting wood, seemed to come apart. He almost touched my heart. But such a vile and leprous being I cannot have to be my love. So while the stars shine high above and you and I are here alone, help me undress; unzip my gown. Come, sate my Desire this perfect evening. Blue Cowboy by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 He slumps against the pommel, a lonely, heartsick boy— his horse his sole companion, his gun his only toy —and bitterly regretting he ever came so far, forsaking all home's comforts to sleep beneath the stars, he sighs. He thinks about the lover who awaits his kiss no more till a tear anoints his lashes, lit by uncaring stars. He reaches to his aching breast, withdraws a golden lock, and kisses it in silence as empty as his thoughts while the wind sighs. Blue cowboy, ride that lonesome ridge between the earth and distant stars. Do not fall; the scorpions would leap to feast upon your heart. Blue cowboy, sift the burnt-out sand for a drop of water warm and brown. Dream of streams like silver seams even as you gulp it down. Blue cowboy, sing defiant songs to hide the weakness in your soul. Blue cowboy, ride that lonesome ridge and wish that you were going home as the stars sigh. Cowpoke by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 Sleep, old man... your day has long since passed. The endless plains, cool midnight rains and changeless ragged cows alone remain of what once was. You cannot know just how the Change will **** the windswept plains that you so loved... and so sleep now, O yes, sleep now... before you see just how the Change will come. Sleep, old man... your dreams are not our dreams. The Rio Grande, stark silver sands and every obscure brand of steed and cow are sure to pass away as you do now. I believe “Cowpoke” was written around the same time as “Blue Cowboy,” perhaps on the same day. If Not For Love by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 The little child who cries, brushing sleep from startled eyes, might not have awakened from her dreams to fill the night with plaintive screams if not for love. The little collie pup who tore the sofa up and pleads here in a mournful crouch, might not have ripped apart the couch if not for love. And the little flower *** that broke and littered the rug with sod might not have been dropped if a child had not tried to place it at her mother's bedside— if not for love. Ecstasy by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 A soft breeze stirs the sun-drenched grass that parts, reforms, and then is still. Sunshine, cascading from above, sipped by the flowers to their fill, then bursts out in the rosy reds, the violet blues and buttercup yellows, bolder, more eager, given fresh birth, somehow transformed within frail petals into an ecstasy of colors broadcast across the receptive land, which now wears a cloak like Joseph’s, nature’s brand. EARLY POEMS: HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, PART III Sarjann by Michael R. Burch What did I ever do to make you hate me so? I was only nine years old, lonely and afraid, a small stranger in a large land. Why did you abuse me and taunt me? Even now, so many years later, the question still haunts me: what did I ever do? Why did you despise me and reject me, pushing and shoving me around when there was no one to protect me? Why did you draw a line in the bone-dry autumn dust, daring me to cross it? Did you want to see me cry? Well, if you did, you did. * … oh, leave me alone, for the sky opens wide in a land of no rain, and who are you to bring me such pain? …* This is one of the few "true poems" I've written, in the sense of being about the "real me." I had a bad experience with an older girl named Sarjann (or something like that), who used to taunt me and push me around at a bus stop in Roseville, California (the "large land" of "no rain" where I was a "small stranger" because I only lived there for a few months). I believe this poem was written around age 16-17, but could have been started earlier. Shadows by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Alone again as evening falls, I join gaunt shadows and we crawl up and down my room's dark walls. Up and down and up and down, against starlight—strange, mirthless clowns— we merge, emerge, submerge … then drown. We drown in shadows starker still, shadows of the somber hills, shadows of sad selves we spill, tumbling, to the ground below. There, caked in grimy, clinging snow, we flutter feebly, moaning low for days dreamed once an age ago when we weren't shadows, but were men … when we were men, or almost so. “Shadows” appeared in my college literary journal, Homespun. Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far … on to the stars so faint and far. I believe this poem was written in my early twenties, around 1980, then revised and filed in 1982. Snapdragons: A Pleasant Fable with a Very Happy Ending by Michael R. Burch, age 21 We threaded snapdragons through her dark hair and drank berry wine straight from the vine. We were too young for love (or strong drink) but her lips were warm and her eyes so charmed, that I robbed a Brinks and bought her minks. The Road Always Taken by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 We have come to the time of the parting of ways; now love, we must linger no longer, amazed at the fleetness with which we have squandered our days. We have come to the time of the closing of scrolls; beyond us, indecipherable Eternity rolls … and I fear for our souls. We have come to the point of no fork, no return; above us, a few cooling stars dimly burn … And yet I still yearn. Tonight how I miss you by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Tonight how I miss you, as never before, though morning is only a moment away. Oh, I know I should sleep, but I lie here, distraught, as you flit through my mind—such a wild, haunting thought. And love is a dream that I lately imagined— a dream, yet so real I can touch it at times. But how to explain? I can hardly envision myself without you, like a farce without mimes. Deep, deep in my soul lurks a creature of fire, dormant, not living unless you are near; now, because you are gone, he grows dim, and in dire need of your presence, he wavers, I fear … How he and I wish, how we wish you were here. The Insurrection of Sighs by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 She was my Shilo, my Gethsemane; on a green ***** of moss she nestled my head and breathed upon my insensate lips the fierce benedictions of her ecstatic sighs … But the veiled allegations of her disconsolate tears! Years I abided the eclectic assaults of her flesh … She loved me the most when I was most sorely pressed; she undressed with delight for her ministrations when all I needed was a moment’s rest … She anointed my lips with strange dews at her perilous breast; the insurrection of sighs left me fallen, distressed, at her elegant heel. I felt the hard iron, the cold steel, in her words and I knew: the terrible arrow showed through my conscripted flesh. The sun in retreat left its barb in a maelstrom of light. Love’s last peal of surrender went sinking and dying—unheard. According to my notes, I wrote this poem at age 22 in 1980, must have forgotten about it, then revised it on January 31, 1999. But I wasn’t happy with the first stanza and revised the poem again on September 22, 2023, a mere 43 years after I wrote the original version! Yesterday My Father Died by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 *Rice Krispies and bananas, milk and orange juice, newspapers stiff with frozen dew …* Yesterday my father died and the feelings that I tried to hide he'll never know, unless he saw through my disguise. *Alarm clocks and radios, crumpled sheets and pillows, housecoats and tattered, too-small slippers …* Why did I never say I cared? Why were few secrets ever shared? For now there's nothing left of him except the clothes he used to wear. *Dimmed lights and smoky murmurs, a brief "Goodnight!" and fitful slumber, yesterday's forgotten dreams …* Why did my father have to go, knowing that I loved him so? Or did he know? Because, it seems, I never told him so. *The last words he spoke to me, his laughter in the night, mementos jammed in cluttered cabinets …* What is this "love?" by Michael R. Burch, age 18 What is this "love" that drives men to such lengths as to betray their hearts and turn away from all resolve that once had granted strength and courage to them in life's harshest days? What is this "love" that causes men to shun the friends and family they once held so dear? What causes them to spurn the brilliant sun, to seek some gloomy cloister’s bitter tears? What is this "love" that urges men to yield their hearts' most cherished hopes and will’s restraint? What causes them to throw down reason’s shields, to spill their blood, till sense at last grows faint? This is the weakness in us, one and all— the love of love, the will to kneel, the hope, perhaps, to fall. “What is this ‘love’" was one of my earliest sonnets. You'll never know by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 You'll never know just how I need you, though you ought to know after all this time; you'll never see how much I want you, though your touch can tempt these words to rhyme. For storm clouds grow till stars flee, hidden; bright lightning rails against mankind; wild waves reach out toward scorched comets; but you do not see. You must be blind. Sundown by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Sunset’s shadows touch your eyes She’d rather have the truth than lies. wherein I find no alibis. And that seems strange … I wonder why. Now you and I have come this far, She seems so lovely and so calm. but further off, no guiding star. And yet I know that she is scarred. But without stars how can we see What’s best for her is best for me. ourselves, or where our paths fork free? And yet I loved her so sincerely! I think that we should end it here How can love end without a tear? and I can see that you agree. What’s best for her is best for me. Sunrise by Michael R. Burch, age 17 I ran toward a meadow that shimmered, all ablaze, and laughed to feel the buttercups my skin so softly graze. My soul was full of passion, my eyes were full of light, as sunrise crept into the depths of heart that had harbored only night. I leapt to catch a butterfly, then let it go again, and its glorious flight into the light caused me to clutch my pen and dash back to my darkling room to let the sunrise in, but not through open shutters,– through poems and psalms and hymns. Here “darkling” is a rare word that appears in more than one masterpiece of poetry. Spring dream time by Michael R. Burch, age 19 There are no dreams of springtime tomorrow left to my heart now that winter has come, nor passion to shine like a sun in ascendance to fierce incandescence; my spirit is numb. How shall I write when the words hold no meaning? How shall I feel, when all feeling is gone? How shall I seek what has never had presence or gather an essence I never have known? How to recapture what I once believed in, lost to strange seasons of riotous sun? How to rekindle the heart's effervescence, the spirit's resplendence, when springtime has flown? How will I write what has never been written? How can this ink leap from pen into poem? How can I believe what I know has no feasance, reducing the distance from fancied to known? Are there no others who dream not to lessen, not to wilt before winter, not to weaken—not some who **** to hellfire this winter of demons, imagining seasons of springtime to come? Tell me what i am by michael r. burch, circa age 14-16 Tell me what i am, for i have often wondered why i live. Do u know? Please, tell me so ... drive away this darkness from within. For my heart is black with sin and i have often wondered why i am; and my thoughts are lacking light, though i have often sought what was right. Now it is night; please drive away this darkness from without, for i doubt that i will see the coming of the day without ur help. This heartfelt little poem appeared in my high school journal. I believe I wrote it around age 14 to 16 during the period I wrote related "I am/am I" poems such as "I Am Lonely," "Am I," "Time" and "Why Did I Go?" It remains unpublished and unsubmitted outside the Lantern. You didn't have time by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 You didn't have time to love me, always hurrying here and hurrying there; you didn't have time to love me, and you didn't have time to care. You were playing a reel like a fiddle half-strung: too busy for love, "too old" to be young … Well, you didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time to take time and you didn't have time to try. Every time I asked you why, you said, "Because, my love; that's why." And then you didn't have time at all, my love. You didn't have time at all. You were wheeling and diving in search of a sun that had blinded your eyes and left you undone. Well, you didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time, and now you have none. You have become the morning light by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 You have become the morning light that floods from heaven, fair upon the dewed expanses of each lawn … I lift my face, for you are dawn. And in the warmth that, fanned to flame, I feel against my naked flesh, I find the fierceness of desire— the passions of each wild caress. Now how I long to make you mine in such a moment, as your ******* burn like fire in my hands, forming flame from drunkenness. And if in ardor for the sun or for your touch or for the wine, my lips should crush yours in a kiss so harsh and heated, tears combine with sweat and anguish till beads form— salt beads of passion on your brow, then lover, we will burn with dawn, for in your eyes the sun shines now. When I was in my heyday by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 When I was in my heyday, I howled to see the moon; the wail of a wolf, shrill, rising … then gruff echoed through night, such an impassioned tune! When I was in my heyday, hearts fluttered at my feet; I gathered them in like blossoms the wind had slaughtered and flung, but their fragrance was sweet. When I was in my heyday, I cursed the cage of stars that blocked me from rising above them and flying in rapture, uncaptured, beyond their bright bars. When I was in my heyday, my dreams were a dazzling mist that baffled my vision and hid farthest heaven, but what did I care? I clenched fire in my fist! The Latter Days: an Update by Michael R. Burch, age 22 1. Little Richard grew up. Now the world is not the same, somehow. And Elvis Presley passed away— an idol but with feet of clay. The Beatles left have shorn their locks; John Lennon died and Heaven rocks, though Yoko Ono still remains. (The earth is full of passing pains.) 2. The wall is being built, we hear, although the reason’s far from clear. But there’s one thing we know for sure: there’s never money for the poor. There are, however, trillions for the one percent, and waging war. ’Cause Tweety has an “awesome” plan: kiss Putin’s *** and nuke Iran! 3. The Hebrew prophets long ago warned of a Trump of Doom, and so we wonder if this “little horn” may be the Beast who earned their scorn. But surely not! Trump claims to be our Savior, true Divinity! So please relax, admire his rod, and trust this Orange Demigod! I wrote the first stanza at age 22 in 1980, then updated the rest of the poem after Trump became president in 2016. The Swing by Michael R. Burch (http://www.thehypertexts.com/Michael_R_Burch_Poet_Poetry_Picture_Bio.htm), circa age 18 There was a Swing tied to a tall elm that reached out over the river. There, I used to send you flying out into the autumn air till you began to shiver, then I’d gather you in again, hugging you to keep you warm. How I loved the scent of your hair and the flush of your cheeks! I’d dream of you for weeks when you were at Vassar and I was at Mayer. Then, come the summer, how I loved to see your knee-length skirt billowing about you, revealing your legs, aloed and darkly lovely, and to feel your ample hips —so soft, so full, so warm— when I touched them, “accidentally,” of course, while swinging you. You always knew, I’m sure of that now. And you never let me go too far. But your kisses were warm. Oh, I remember—your kisses were warm! *** I’d often dream of ********** you, and once, just once, when I was helping you down from the Swing, I touched your breast, and you paused. Hurriedly, I unbuttoned your blouse as you stood breathless, and with good cause, after riding the Swing as wild as I swung you. Your bra was Immaculate White, your ******* warm and firm beneath the thin material. You said nothing until I flipped your skirt up, then slipped my fingers inside the waistband of your matchless cotton ******* to feel your hips, so full and so inviting, and then your nether lips. At which you said, “That’s enough,” gently, and it was. *** Now I think of those days and I wonder why I ever let you go. I remember one dark hour when, standing in the snow, you told me to take you or to let you go. I was a fool. Proud, and a fool. All you asked was for us to be married after we finished school. But I was a fool. *** But I always loved you— my wild risk taker! My sweet gentle ******* of elms, my lovely heartbreaker. *** Now you’re a dancer, and a fine one, I’m told. I saw you, once, in men’s magazine. You hair was still maple with highlights of gold, your eyes just as green. But somehow you didn’t quite seem the wild sweet rambunctious angel of my dreams who’d defy men’s eyes and the edicts of heaven simply to Swing. Twelve-Thirty by Michael R. Burh, circa age 19 How cold the nights become so quickly; now a small fire does little to quench the winter's thirst for warmth. Sometimes it seems that all my life has been an endless winter: the longer it grew, the more of me it demanded … and time goes slowly when a man's strength is not enough to meet his needs. Tonight I feel an old man creeping into my bones, willing to die and sleep and never dream, and I accept him, not because I wish to lie and live a life of peaceful ease until I die, but because I am too weak and too weary to wish it otherwise … and a man is so very close to the edge when he lacks the strength to wish. Long ago, when I was young, I would run and fall and cry and not give up. But now it is twelve-thirty, the darkest hour of the night, and I am at the darkest point that I have ever known in life. So even as the frigid winds pass silently across the hills, I feel my spirit sigh within and steal into its cell. No longer does it venture forth to dare new feats and find its fate, but it lies asleep throughout the night and does not awake except to eat a little more of my life away. Published by Borderless Journal (Singapore) I believe "My Grandfather's Hills" and "Twelve-Thirty" were written on the same day, or very close to each other. ***Sea Dreams ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 I. In timeless days I've crossed the waves of seaways seldom seen. By the last low light of evening the breakers that careen then dive back to the deep have rocked my ship to sleep, and so I've known the peace of a soul at last at ease there where Time's waters run in concert with the sun. With restless waves I've watched the days' slow movements, as they hum their antediluvian songs. Sometimes I've sung along, my voice as soft and low as the sea's, while evening slowed to waver at the dim mysterious moonlit rim of dreams no man has known. In thoughtless flight, I've scaled the heights and soared a scudding breeze over endless arcing seas of waves ten miles high. I've sheared the sable skies on wings as soft as sighs and stormed the sun-pricked pitch of sunset's scarlet-stitched, ebullient dark demise. I've climbed the sun-cleft clouds ten thousand leagues or more above the windswept shores of seas no vessel's sailed — great seas as grand as hell's, shores littered with the shells of men's "immortal" souls — and I've warred with dark sea-holes whose open mouths implored their depths to be explored. And I've grown and grown and grown till I thought myself the king of every silver thing … But sometimes late at night when the sorrowing wavelets sing sad songs of other times, I taste the windborne rime of a well-remembered day on the whipping ocean spray, and I bow my head to pray … II. It's been a long, hard day; sometimes I think I work too hard… Tonight I'd like to take a walk down by the sea — down by those salty waves brined with the scent of Infinity, down by that rocky shore, down by those cliffs I'd so often climb when the wind was **** with the tang of lime and every dream was a sailor's dream. Then small waves broke light, all frothy and white, over the reefs in the ramblings of night, and the pounding sea —a mariner's dream— was bound to stir a boy's delight to such a pitch that he couldn't desist, but was bound to splash through the surf in the light of ten thousand stars, all shining so bright! Christ, those nights were fine, like a well-seasoned wine, yet more scalding than fire with the marrow's desire. Then desire was a fire burning wildly within my bones, fiercer by far than the frantic foam … and every wish was a moan! *Oh, for those days to come again! Oh, for a sea and sailing men! Oh, for a little time!* It's almost nine and I must be back home by ten, and then … what then? I have less than an hour to stroll this beach, less than an hour old dreams to reach … And then, what then? Tonight I'd like to play old games— games that I used to play with the somber, sinking waves. When their wraithlike fists would reach for me, I'd dance between them gleefully, mocking their witless craze —their eager, unchecked craze— to batter me to death with spray as light as breath. Oh, tonight I'd like to sing old songs— songs of the haunting moon drawing the tides away, songs of those sultry days when the sun beat down till it cracked the ground and the sea gulls screamed in their agony to touch the cooling clouds. The distant cooling clouds. Then the sun shone bright with a different light over sprightlier lands, and I was always a pirate in flight. Oh, tonight I'd like to dream old dreams, if only for a while, and walk perhaps a mile along this windswept shore, a mile, perhaps, or more, remembering those days, safe in the soothing spray of the thousand sparkling streams that tumble into this sea. I like to slumber in the caves of a sailor's dark sea-dreams … oh yes, I'd love to dream, *to dream and dream and dream.* "Sea Dreams" is one of my longer and more ambitious early poems, along with the full version of "Jessamyn's Song." To the best of my recollection, I wrote "Sea Dreams" around age 18, circa 1976-1977. For years I thought I had written "Sea Dreams" around age 19 or 20, circa 1978. But then I remembered a conversation I had with a friend about the poem in my freshman dorm, so the poem must have been started around age 18 or earlier. Dating my early poems has been a bit tricky, because I keep having little flashbacks that help me date them more accurately, but often I can only say, "I know this poem was written by about such-and-such a date, because …" The snowman sleeps under the sea by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 Beware while bright sunlight, in ardor, caresses and kisses one arc of the earth, for others are trapped in the dungeons of night— crazed victims of an insane demon's mirth. Beware while the children are playing under a sun brightly blazing, for soon they, too, will be paying for the time they once thought free … for an ice-capped mountain is swaying and a snowman sleeps under the sea. Beware, though life's moments are fleeting, for, fleet though they may be, a moment in Hades, I have heard, can stretch into an eternity. Beware of the clouds whitely lazing under a sun brightly blazing, for soon dark Night will be freed, her black canopy raising. Now an ice-caped summit is waving and an iceman sleeps under the sea. Beware the snowman, cold as death, with winter terror on his breath; if he should touch you, flee, my friend, or into hell’s cold depths descend. I believe “The snowman sleeps under the sea” was inspired by the title of the Eugene O’Neill play “The Iceman Cometh” and the biblical idea of hell as bleak, cold “outer darkness.” there is peace where i am going by michael r. burch, circa age 15 lines written after watching a TV documentary about Woodstock there is peace where i am going, for i hasten to a land that has never known the motion of one windborne grain of sand; that has never felt a tidal wave nor seen a thunderstorm; a land whose endless seasons in their sameness are one. there i will lay my burdens down and feel their weight no more, untouched beneath the unstirred sands of a neverchanging shore, where Time lies motionless in pools of lost experience and those who sleep, sleep unaware of the future, past and present (and where Love itself lies dormant, unmoved by a silver crescent). and when i lie asleep there, with Death's footprints at my feet, not a thing shall touch me, save bland sand, lain like a sheet to wrap me for my rest there and to bind me, lest i dream, mere clay again, of strange domains where cruel birth drew such harrowing screams. yes, there is peace where i am going, for i am bound to be embalmed within the chill embrace of this dim, unchanging sea … before too long; i sense it now, and wait, expectantly, to feel the listless touch of Immortality. This poem was written circa 1973, around age 15, after I watched a TV documentary about Woodstock. I think I probably owe the last two lines to Emily Dickinson. I believe "those who sleep the sleep of Death" was written around the same time and under the same influence. those who sleep the sleep of Death by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 those who sleep the sleep of Death sleep to wake no more … they lie upon a brackish shore where Time's tides lash the rugged rocks with waves that whip like ragged locks of long, unkempt white hair against the storm-filled air, but nothing can disturb them there. those who dream the dream of Death fail to see how Time pulses through the slime of earth’s dark fulsome loam, rank, rotting flesh and filthy foam … for, standing far off from the shore, She readies to attack once more those She had but killed before. those whom Death awakens awaken to a sleep that is far more deep than any they had known before; for there upon that ravaged shore, they do not see how Time now drives to destroy the fragile lives of those who still survive. The Song of the Wanderers by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Through many miles of space we have flown; no life but ours have we known. No other race have we seen in the stars, nor under any sun that has shone. None in the shadows, none in the sun, none in the rainbows that brighten dark skies, none in the valleys, none in the hills, none in the rapids that ripple and rise. Our quest is near ending; the stars have been searched; we alone wander this vast universe. For every green planet, every blue sky we have encountered is barren of life. We are alone, unless below a creature exists somewhere in the snow. The planet beneath us lies shackled by night. The stars deck its mountains in garments of light. Close to us, its moon hovers ghostly in flight. Somewhere below us, perhaps there is life. Come, let us seek life, before we return to that fair planet for which our hearts yearn. Here snow descends as the wind whistles down from dark frozen northlands where glaciers abound. See, on the far shoreline, pale mists compound. Notice, companions, how the sun, like a fiery stallion, rears upon the eastern rim of a mountain range haggard, weathered and grim. A pity, perhaps, that at last it grows dim. But there's no life here, and so we must leave this desolate planet alone to its grief. No, wait just a moment! What can this be … concealed by dense fog here, surrounded by sea, some type of vessel, storm-tossed, to and fro? Yes, I believe, I'm sure that it's so! Here near this shoreline, half-buried in snow, lies a wrecked vessel dripping salt water and seaweed tresses. Make haste; let us hurry, the sea in its fury is dashing it upon the rocks! It may well be that at last we will see some relic of another race's past. What's this? It's no vessel, no ship of the seas. It's fashioned of stone and could not use the breeze. It has no engine, no portals, no helm, and yet it resembles … some demon from hell. It must be a statue, with horns on its head, long, flowing hair and a torch in its hand. Broken and shattered, cast off by the sea, tonight it erodes in this frozen dark sand. No, come, let us leave, it was fashioned by wind, molded by water and wasted therein. Come, let us leave it, to hasten back home; too long have we wandered, thus, lost and alone. The Liberty calls us; we cannot delay. Let us return now, and be underway. Through many miles of space we have flown. No other life have we known. And now that we know that we are alone, we search for our ancient home. Somewhere ahead she awaits our return, decked in bright garments of green; for eons of time we have not seen her face, and yet she has haunted our dreams. Somewhere ahead lies the planet we left when we set out the depths of deep space to explore, and now how we long to dash through her streams and sleep on her bright, sandy shores. The last cold, dark planet lies dying behind us; no others are left to be searched. The Liberty soon her last descent shall make when we relocate Mother Earth! The spinster waltz by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 The spinster waltz is playing in sad strains from other rooms, but here, where love beams, reigning, wedding bells greet brides and grooms. O, the bachelors are a-waltzing, but the married do not mind, for they whirl with one another to a far more hectic time. And as they feel the music seek to slow their breakneck thoughts, they murmur of the things they've gained, regretting what they've lost. The offering by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Tonight, if you will taste the tempting wine and come to sit beside me, I will say the words that you have thought that you might hear, the words that I have feared that I might say. And if you sit beside me with the goblet in your hand and offer me a sip to give me strength, then I will match your offer with an offer of my own, and, offering, so offer back that strength. And if I say, "I love you," don't laugh as though I jest, for a jester I am not, as you can see. And if I offer anything, I'll offer you myself — the man I am and not the man you see. For though you see successes and a man of many dreams, I see a pauper throwing dreams away; yes, once I dreamt of many things, but then I saw your face, and since I dream no more, and dreams can fade away. So if I offer you this ring of burnished gold that burns and sings, please take it for the thought and not the gold. And if I offer you my life, please understand, my love, don't sigh and tell me that you do not care for gold. I'm offering my love, my life, my joys, my cares, my fears, my nights, the dreams that I have dreamt and dream no more, I'm offering my soul, not gold … I'm offering my thoughts, my hopes … I'm offering myself and nothing more. And if this offer seems enough; if you can be content with love and cherish one who loves you as I do, then promise that I'll be your dreams, your hopes, your joys, your cares, all things that you could ever want or want to do. But if you cannot promise so, then let us say goodbye and go; I cannot love you less than I do now, but I would rather bear this pain and never, ever love again than burn in hope and fear as I do now. There Must Be Love by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 O, take me to earth’s tallest mountain and hurl me out into the dark; though I may fall ten thousand miles, still I’ll not say this life is all. I’ll shout, *There’s more! There must be more! There must be Love. * Then take me to faith’s highest fancy and show me all there is to see; though all the world bow prone before me, still I’ll not say this world is all. I’ll pray, *There’s more. There must be more. There must be Love.* Then lay me down beside dark waters where dying trees shed lifeless leaves, and though I shiver with the knowledge of my death, I shall not grieve. And when you say, There must be more … then I shall say, There is … believe! I’ll take your hand, and we’ll believe. This is how I love you Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Just to hold you as you sleep with your head against my shoulder, just to kiss your sweet lips and to know that you are mine, fills my heart with a sense of perfect completeness of a light and airy sweetness, like the scent of chilled white wine. For the love with which I love you is a pure and sacred thing, like the first touch of morning, when she bends to kiss her flowers; for then the dancing daisies and the gleaming marigolds reach out to receive her, each in turn, throughout dawn’s hours. And the light with which she touches them becomes their life; each stalk and stem are born of her who gives herself unselfishly. And to her spell the flowers bend, full willingly, with sometimes a hushed and fervent plea, "Touch me, O sun, touch me!" The Rose by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 “Oh Rose, thou art sick!”—William Blake Where life begins the seeds of death are likewise planted, but with faith the rose's roots combat the weeds’ to seek the nourishment it needs. Yet in its heart an insect breeds. Where dreams take form the flower grows, as do the weeds, and still the rose is gay and lovely, though her thorns are sharp! The casual touch she scorns … yet insects eat her leaves in swarms. When passion fails the rose grown old, no longer are her petals bold— in flaming glory bright-arrayed. In weeds of death at last is laid the rose by insects first betrayed. ***Say You Love Me ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22-25 Joy and anguish surge within my soul; contesting there, they cannot be controlled; now grinding yearnings grip me like a vise. *Stars are burning; it's almost morning.* Dreams of dreams of dreams that I have dreamed parade before me, forming formless scenes; and now, at last, the feeling grows *as stars, declining, bow to morning.* For you are music in my undreamt dreams, rising from some far-off lyric spring; oh, somewhere in the night I hear you sing. *Stars on fire form a choir.* Now dawn's fierce brightness burns within your eyes; you laugh at me as dancing starlets die. You touch me so and still I don't know why . . . *But say you love me. Say you love me.* Sheila by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 When they spoke your name, "Sheila," I imagined a flowing mane of reddish-orange hair tinged with fire and blazing eyes of emerald green spangled with desire. When I saw you first, Sheila, I felt an overwhelming thirst for the taste of your lips dry my lips and parch my tongue … and, much worse, I stuttered and stammered and lisped in your presence. But when I kissed you long, Sheila, I felt the morning come with temperamental sun to drive away the night with reddish-orange light and distant-sounding drums. Now I will love you long, as long as longing is, Sheila. This poem appeared in my high school journal the Lantern, so it was written no later than 1976. But it feels like one of my earlier poems, so I will guess that it was written around age 16 during my early Romantic phase. I'm not sure why the name Sheila made me think of reddish-orange hair. The poem is virtually the same today as when I wrote it in my teens. I did add L12 "dry my lips and parch my tongue" and changed the penultimate line from "as long as long is" to "as long as longing is." But it remains essentially the same poem I wrote around age 16. The breathing low and the stars alight by Michael R. Burch, age 19 Silently I'll steal away into dank jungles pocked with night. I'll give no thought to the coming day; the breathing low and the stars alight alone shall mark my passage through in search of plateaus of delight. Through valleys filled with shrieks of fright I may pass; through vales of woe I may move with footsteps light. Who knows what trials I’ll undergo at the hands of demon Night before that fiend I overthrow? And yet at last the ebb and flow of time and tide will draw me tight within Death’s grasp; then I shall know the freedom of life's last respite, safe from dread nightmares and despite the breathing low and the black disquiet. Parting by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16-17 I was his friend, and he was mine; I knew him just a while. We laughed and talked and sang a song; he went on with a smile. He roams this land in search of life, intent on being "free." I stay at home and write my poems and work on my degree. I hope to be a writer soon, and dream of wild acclaim. He doesn't know what he will do; he only knows he loves the wind and rain. I didn't say goodbye to him; I know he'll understand. I'll never write a word to him; I don't know that I can. I knew he couldn't stay, and so … I didn't even ask. We both knew that he had to go; I tried to ease his task. We both know life's a winding road, with potholes every mile, and if we hit a detour, well, it only brings vague sadness to our smiles. One day he's bound to stop somewhere; perhaps he'll take a wife, but for now he has to travel on, to seek a more "natural" life. He knows such a life's elusive, but still he has to try, just as I must write my poems although none please my eye. For poetry, like life itself, is something most men rue; still, we meet disappointments with a smile, and smile until the time that they are through. He left me as I left a friend so many years ago; I promised I would call him, but I never did; you know, it's not that I didn't love him; it's just that gone is gone. It makes no sense to prolong the end; you cannot stop the sun. And I hope to find a lover soon, and I hope she'll love me too; but perhaps I'll find disappointment; I know that it's a rare girl who is true. I've been to many foreign lands, but now my feet are fast, still, I hope to travel once again when my college days are past. Our paths are very different, but we both do what we can, and though we don't know what it means, we try to "act like men." We were friends, and nothing more; what more is there to be? We were friends for just a while … he went on to be "free." Rose by Michael R. Burch, age 18 Morning’s buds cling fervently to the tiny drops of dew that nourish them sacrificially, as nature bids them to. And how each petal cherishes the tiny silver gems that satisfy its thirst and caress its slender stem. All life comes of sacrifice, which makes it doubly sweet; for two lives sacrificed form one and thus become complete. Daisies plait the valleys that give their strength to yield such a tender host among the steamy summer fields. And how the flowers love the earth that freely gives its life, kissing and caressing it throughout the hours of night. So kiss me and caress me, love, for you are my fair Rose. And hold me through the depths of night and the heights of our repose. A bee entreats a flower: a tiny drop is given. A slender stalk caresses and gains a speck of pollen. All beings are dependent on others being too. And love cannot exist except when shared by two. So kiss me and caress me, love, for you are my fair Rose. And hold me through the depths of night and the heights of our repose. Spartacus by Michael R. Burch, age 20 Take the fire from her eyes to light the darkening skies exquisite shades of blue and jade. Place an orchid in her hair and tell her that you care, because you do, you surely do. Sleep beside her this last night; a clover bed, deep green and white, shall cushion you as leaves sing sad elegies to fleeting spring. Sleep beside her in the dew, both heartbeats fierce and true, and praise the gods who give such hearts, because you live. Not many do. So little time by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14 There is so little time left to summer, to run through the fields or to swim in the ponds … to be young. There is so little time left till autumn shall come. There is so little time left for me to be free … so little time, just so, so little time. If I were handsome and brawny and brave, a love I would make and the time I would save. If I were happy — not hamstrung, but free — surely there would be one for me … Perhaps there'd be one. There is so little left of the sunshine although there's much left of the rain … there is so little left in my life not of strife and of pain. I seem to remember writing this poem around age 14, in 1972. It was published in my high school journal, the Lantern, in 1976. The inversion in L8 makes me think this was a very early poem. That's something I weaned myself of pretty quickly. Also, I was extremely depressed from age 14 to 15 because my family moved twice and I had trouble making friends because I was so shy and introverted. Valley of Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 On a haunted moor, awash in starlight, when all the world lay hushed and still, while a ghostly orb, traversing the heavens, bathed every ridge of every hill in a shower of silver, I happened to spy a shadow creeping against the sky. And suddenly the shadow beckoned with a fair white hand, then called my name! Out of the haunting mists of midnight, through webs of ethereal light she came— the maiden I had wildly wanted, that had long my heart enchanted. It seemed to me that the stars shone brighter as she slipped into my arms, for they burned within the halo of her flaxen hair and warmed the air about us, so that I melted into the haven of her arms' shelter. Her fragrance of lilacs enraptured me; her sparkling eyes beguiled me. And when my lips found hers that night, nothing could have defiled me, or have dragged me down … we began to rise through the mists and vapors of a spinning sky. We rose for hours, or so it seemed, through galaxies of pearl and blue. She kissed my lips and made me feel that all I've heard of love is true. And now, although we're lost, I never wonder where we are, for my love and I wander paths of the sky, lost in a valley of stars. We Dance and Dream by Michael R. Burch, age 25 All the nights we danced it seemed the stars above were dancing too, and all the dreams we dared to dream it seemed were old dreams dreamed anew. But now no hallowed lovers’ lies pass our lips or glaze our eyes; and now no even wilder dreams cause our lips, with anguished screams, to pierce the peacefulness of night. We dance and dream, bereft of light, content to merely glide… We kept the dream alive by Michael R. Burch, age 18 Youthful reflections on the Vietnam War and the “Domino Theory” So that our nation should not “fall,” we sacrificed our lives; we choked back fears and blinked back tears. Our skin broke out in hives. We kept the dream alive. We counted freedom and honor worth saving; a flag waving against the sky filled us with pride, then led us to die. But was it a lie? What of the torch? What of its flame? We kept it lit through wind and rain. It brought us woe and bitter pain. And yet we bore it though it seemed the vaguest semblance of a dream. And all around the jungle screamed, “This is no place for you to die; the flag you fight for is a lie; the torch you bear burns bitter flame; the dream you cherish has no name but darkest shame …” We lost our lives, but to what gain? Will you walk with me by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Will you walk with me a mile down this lane? for there is something I must say to you. And, as my feelings cry to be explained, this silence is a lie, bereft of truth. As does the bird that sings, I so must tell the feelings that my heart cannot keep in, for it must be a sin to speechless dwell when love entreats the trembling tongue to sing. And thus I cannot watch you silently, although I cringe to think that I must speak— my lisping lips then tremble shamelessly, my heart grows numb even as my knees go weak— but now the time has come to not delay, so listen closely to the words I say … If I could only hold you through the night, then wake to find you near me, each new day, my life would be so full of sheer delight that I would never notice should you stray. If I could only kiss your wanton lips and do so without fear of God's revenge, then I would even kneel to kiss your whip, and I would gladly bend to your demands. For I not only love your loving moods, fierce kisses and caresses and wild eyes, but darling, I still love you when you brood. I love you though you rail at me and lie. For love is not a passion that should fade; it burns!—the heat of sunlight on a cage. This was one of my first sonnets, or "sonnet attempts," written around age 18 as a college freshman in 1976. Where have all the flowers gone? by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 Where have all the flowers gone that once shone in your hair when the sunlight touched them there? Now summer's fields are dark and bare. And what of all your lovely curls that caught the sunlight till a halo ringed their masses, golden-yellow? Into ash-grey their fire has mellowed… Where have all the starlings gone whose voices blended with your own in such a wild, emphatic song? From winter's grasp those birds have flown. And what of your own voice, my dear? Those splendid notes I hear no more which once from your sweet throat did pour. For now your throat is parched and sore. Oh, where have all the feelings gone? We once could name them all— emotions great and longings small . . . But now we heed them not at all. And what of our desire, my love, which we once wildly bore and felt at each soul's core? That passion now is calm, demure. For time has take all of this and the little left leaves much to miss. Were Love to Die by Michael R. Burch, circa age 24 Were love to die without pained sighs, without heartaches and brimming eyes, then tell me—what would love be worth if, dying, as in being birthed, it were no more than other words? Were love to die without a lie, without attempts to keep it nigh, then tell me—what would love have been if, fleeing as in entering, it was not holy, nor a sin? Were love to cause no grief, or pain, and come, then go, what would remain? And tell me—what would love have left if, being lost, as being kept, it did not bless and curse our fate? Won't you by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 Won't you lie in my arms in the clutches of wine as dark petals, unfolding, whisper back to the vine? Won't you dream of that day, as I bring you again to an anguish, a heartache that throbs without end? Won't you dream of a day when the ocean grew wild, raging before us—green cauldron of bile!— while the passions we shared were stirred by a wind that later that evening sang softly of sin? Won't you rise in your yearning and touch me again? Won't you kiss me and curse me just as you did then? Won't you hate me and hold me and scold me and say that you'll never leave me, that this time you'll stay? O, tonight be my lifeline, re-cresting love’s waves … won't you rage in my arms as you did in those days? Won't you be half as gentle as you are rough, then spare me, care for me, saying, "This is enough!" Won't you lie in my arms with a lie on your lips and say to me, "Darling, there's nothing like this!" Won't you tell me, please tell me, O, what is the harm, as I lie here tonight with your child in my arms? The lamp of freedom by Michael R. Burch, age 16 When the lamp lies shattered, its bowl can be remade, but should its light be scattered, light cannot be regained. Hold high the lamp of freedom; let a man be no man's slave. Staying Free by Michael R. Burch, age 19 Others dwell in darkness, raging through the night, slaves to fearsome demons, though children of the light, where, caught up in emotions they fail to understand, they flock to laud the Mocker who kneads them in his hand. And all the revelations bright choirs of angels sing, they never seem to notice as their shackles clang and ring. They know naught of freedom, nor wish to—for, born slaves into dull lives of servitude, their chains they dearly crave. But let them live their captive lives; whatever they may be, for I am bound to be a man as long as I stay free. What Is Love If It’s Not Forever? by Michael R. Burch, age 17 My love, are you trying to tell me that you no longer love me? After all these years of sacrifice and hope and joy and compromise, are you saying that we are through? You always called me a romanticist, a fantasist, a dreamer, while labeling yourself a realist, a fatalist, a schemer … but I thought that, perhaps, a spark of romance existed also in you. And yet it seems that now, incredibly, you wish to leave me, and all that was said and done, unselfishly, in the name of love, must be written off as a total waste. You often hinted at a dark side to your inner nature, while despairing of my “innocent, unassuming character,” but I had always hoped that you would never act in such haste. For what is love if it’s not forever? Can such an ethereal thing exist beatifically for a moment and then be gone … like spring? Yes, what is love if it’s not forever? Is it caresses and laughter and words sweet and clever, intrigue and romance, sorrow and pain, whirligig dances, sunshine and rain, such as we had? Or is it more— a volcanic struggle deep at heart’s core; a wave of sweet sadness sweeping the shore of one’s emotions; a rampaging ocean of fantastical supposition; a ****** gut-wrenching war fought within oneself —such as I often felt, but which you admit now that you never have? [etc., see handwritten version] To prove you independence by leaving me is a quaint paradox, but unresolvable. So return to me, tell him goodbye, and let us tend to mysteries more solvable. For what is love if it’s not forever? Perhaps we already know, for we cannot live without one another: like the sunshine and summer, one cannot leave unless both will go. When love is just a memory by Michael R. Burch, age 25 When love is just a memory of August nights’ enflaming wine; when youth is just a dream, a scene from some forgotten time; when passion is a word for thought and nights are spent with friends; when we are old, and cannot “love,” how will you love me then? Are you so young and so naive that "love" means this to you— a fiery act, a frantic pact, a whispered word or two? O, darling, neither acts nor pacts could ever bind our hearts; only love might bond them, but then neither would be yours. And though we burn as one today, what ember does not die? Fire cleanses, but I fear only tears can sanctify. Yes, you may burn, and burn for me, but can you shed a tear to think that you and I might cool somewhere within the coming years? For love and hate are ill-defined, and where they meet, we cannot tell, but lust and love are unrelated, however closely they may dwell. And though I long for you tonight, such hellish passion I prefer to the hell of loving you with heat untempered by the years.
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Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 5:27 AM UTC
"Smoke" and other Early Poems by Michael R. Burch
Smoke by Michael R. Burch The hazy, smoke-filled skies of summer I remember well; farewell was on my mind, and the thoughts that I can't tell rang bells within (the din was in) my mind, and I can't say if what we had was good or bad, or where it is today ... The endless days of summer's haze I still recall today; she spoke and smoky skies stood still as summer slipped away ... [We loved and life we left alone and deftly was it done; we sang our song all summer long beneath the sultry sun.] I wrote this early poem as a boy, age 14, after seeing an ad for the movie "Summer of ’42," which starred the lovely Jennifer O’Neill and a young male actor who might have been my nebbish twin. I didn’t see the R-rated movie at the time: too young, according to my parents! But something about the ad touched me; even thinking about it today makes me feel sad and a bit out of sorts. The movie came out in 1971, so the poem was probably written around 1971-1972. But it could have been a bit later, with me working from memory. In any case, the poem was published in my high school literary journal, The Lantern, in 1976. The poem is “rhyme rich” with eleven rhymes in the first four lines: well, farewell, tell, bells, within, din, in, say, today, had, bad. The last two lines appear in brackets because they were part of the original poem but I later chose to publish just the first six lines. I didn’t see the full movie until 2001, around age 43, after which I addressed two poems to my twin, Hermie … Listen, Hermie by Michael R. Burch Listen, Hermie . . . you can hear the strangled roar of water inundating that lost shore . . . and you can see how white she shone that distant night, before you blinked and she was gone . . . But is she ever really gone from you . . . or are her lips the sweeter since you kissed them once: her waist wasp-thin beneath your hands always, her stockinged shoeless feet for that one dance still whispering their rustling nylon trope of―“Love me. Love me. Love me. Give me hope that love exists beyond these dunes, these stars.” How white her prim brassiere, her waist-high briefs; how lustrous her white slip. And as you danced― how white her eyes, her skin, her eager teeth. She reached, but not for *** . . . for more . . . for you . . . You cannot quite explain, but what is true is true despite our fumbling in the dark. Hold tight. Hold tight. The years that fall away still make us what we are. If love exists, we find it in ourselves, grown wan and gray, within a weathered hand, a wrinkled cheek. She cannot touch you now, but I would reach across the years to touch that chord in you which sang the pangs of love, and play it true. Tell me, Hermie by  Michael R. Burch Tell me, Hermie ― when you saw her white brassiere crash to the floor as she stepped from her waist-high briefs into your arms, and mutual griefs ― did you feel such fathomless awe as mystics in artists’ reliefs? How is it that dark night remains forever with us ― present still ― despite her absence and the pains of dreams relived without the thrill of any ecstasy but this ― one brief, eternal, transient kiss? She was an angel; you helped us see the beauty of love’s iniquity. Keywords/Tags: young, love, summer, smoke, smoky, haze, fog, foggy, cloudy, sky, skies, heat, summer heat, ****** heat, smog, mist, sultry, Summer of '42, Jennifer O’Neill, Hermie, sky, skies, cloud, clouds, cloudy, farewell, goodbye, memory, memories, teen, teenage, teen love, boy, boyfriend, first love, World War II, confusion, regret, recall, recollection, memory, remembrance Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far . . . on to the stars so faint and far. Analogy by Michael R. Burch Our embrace is like a forest lying blanketed in snow; you, the lily, are enchanted by each shiver trembling through; I, the snowfall, cling in earnest as I press so close to you. You dream that you now are sheltered; I dream that I may break through. I believe I wrote this early poem around age 18. alien by michael r. burch there are mornings in england when, riddled with light, the Blueberries gleam at us— plump, sweet and fragrant. but i am so small ... what do i know of the ways of the Daffodils? “beware of the Nettles!” we go laughing and singing, but somehow, i, ... i know i am lost. i do not belong to this Earth or its Songs. and yet i am singing ... the sun—so mild; my cheeks are like roses; my skin—so fair. i spent a long time there before i realized: They have no faces, no bodies, no voices. i was always alone. and yet i keep singing: the words will come if only i hear. I believe I wrote this early poem around age 19, then revised it nearly a half-century later. One of my earliest memories is picking blueberries amid the brambles surrounding the tiny English hamlet, Mattersey, where I and my mother lived with her parents while my American father was stationed in Thule, Greenland, where dependents were not allowed. Was that because of the weather or the nukes? In any case, England is free of dangerous animals, but one must be wary of the copious thorns and nettles. Lullaby by Michael R. Burch, age 25 Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight— it's all right. My newborn son, cease sighing, softly, slowly close your eyes, purse your tiny lips and kiss the crisp, cool night a warm goodbye. Fierce yet gentle fragment, the better part of me, why don't you dream a dream deep as eternity, until sunrise? Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight — it's all right. I wrote this early poem around age 25. As the Flame Flowers by Michael R. Burch As the flame flowers, a flower, aflame, arches leaves skyward, aching for rain, but all it encounters are anguish and pain as the flame sputters sparks that ignite at its stem. Yet how this frail flower aflame at the stem reaches through night, through the staggering pain, for a sliver of silver that sparkles like rain, as it flutters in fear of the flowering flame. Mesmerized by a wavering crescent-shaped gem that glistens like water though drier than sand, the flower extends itself, trembles, and then dies as scorched leaves burst aflame in the wind. I believe I wrote the first version of this early poem in my late teens or early twenties, wasn’t happy with it, put it aside, then revised nearly 20 years later, in 1998, then again another 20 years later in 2020. The flower aflame yet entranced by the moon is, of course, a metaphor for destructive love and its passions. Ashes by Michael R. Burch A fire is dying; ashes remain . . . ashes and anguish, ashes and pain. A fire is fading though once it burned bright . . . ashes once embers are ashes tonight. I wrote this early poem either in my late teens or early twenties: I will guess somewhere around age 18-19, but no later than age 21 according to the dated copy I have. This is a companion poem to “As the Flame Flowers,” perhaps written the same day. This is one of my early poems, written as a teenager in high school around age 18. The first version may have been a bit earlier than 1976, but I’m not sure about this one. I seem to remember submitting it to the World of Poetry, which I didn’t realize was a vanity press at the time. I think the poem may have been published, but it’s not worth the time to verify. The Beautiful People by Michael R. Burch They are the beautiful people, and their shadows dance through the valleys of the moon to the listless strains of an ancient tune. Oh, no ... please don't touch them, for their smiles might fade. Don’t go ... don’t approach them as they promenade, for they waltz through a vacuum and dream they're not made of the dust and the dankness to which men degrade. They are the beautiful people, and their spirits sighed in their mothers’ wombs as the distant echoings of unearthly tunes. Winds do not blow there and storms do not rise, and each hair has its place and each gown has its price. And they whirl through the darkness untouched by our cares as we watch them and long for a "life" such as theirs. Rag Doll by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 On an angry sea a rag doll is tossed back and forth between cruel waves that have marred her easy beauty and ripped away her clothes. And her arms, once smoothly tanned, are gashed and torn and peeling as she dances to the waters’ rockings and reelings. She’s a rag doll now, a toy of the sea, and never before has she been so free, or so uneasy. She’s slammed by the hammering waves, the flesh shorn away from her bones, and her silent lips must long to scream, and her corpse must long to find its home. For she’s a rag doll now, at the mercy of all the sea’s relentless power, cruelly being ravaged with every passing hour. Her eyes are gone; her lips are swollen shut to the pounding waves whose waters reached out to fill her mouth with puddles of agony. Her limbs are limp; her skull is crushed; her hair hangs like seaweed in trailing tendrils draped across a never-ending sea. For she’s a rag doll now, a worn-out toy with which the waves will play ten thousand thoughtless games until her bed is made. "Rag Doll" is an early poem written around age 17. EARLY POEMS: HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, PART I These are early poems of mine, written in high school and college… Liquid Assets by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 And so I have loved you, and so I have lost, accrued disappointment, ledgered its cost, debited wisdom, credited pain … My assets remaining are liquid again. I wrote this poem in college after my younger sister decided to major in accounting. In fact, the poem was originally titled “Accounting.” At another point I titled it “Liquidity Crisis.” absinthe sea by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 i hold in my hand a goblet of absinthe the bitter green liqueur reflects the dying sunset over the sea and the darkling liquid froths up over the rim of my cup to splash into the free, churning waters of the sea i do not drink i do not drink the liqueur, for I sail on an absinthe sea that stretches out unendingly into the gathering night its waters are no less green and no less bitter, nor does the sun strike them with a kinder light they both harbor night, and neither shall shelter me neither shall shelter me from the anger of the wind or the cruelty of the sun for I sail in the goblet of some Great God who gazes out over a greater sea, and when my life is done, perhaps it will be because He lifted His goblet and sipped my sea. I seem to remember writing this poem in college, just because I liked the sound of the word “absinthe.” I had no idea, really, what it was or what absinthe looked or tasted like, beyond something I had read somewhere. ***Am I ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Am I inconsequential; do I matter not at all? Am I just a snowflake, to sparkle, then to fall? Am I only chaff? Of what use am I? Am I just a feeble flame, to flicker, then to die? Am I inadvertent? For what reason am I here? Am I just a ripple in a pool that once was clear? Am I insignificant? Will time pass me by? Am I just a flower, to live one day, then die? Am I unimportant? Do I matter either way? Or am I just an echo— soon to fade away? “Am I” is one of my very early poems; if I remember correctly, it was written the same day as “Time,” the poem below. The refrain “Am I” is an inversion of the biblical “I Am” supposedly given to Moses as the name of God. I was around 14 or 15 when I wrote the two poems. ***Time ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Time, where have you gone? What turned out so short, had seemed like so long. Time, where have you flown? What seemed like mere days were years come and gone. Time, see what you've done: for now I am old, when once I was young. Time, do you even know why your days, minutes, seconds preternaturally fly? "Time" is a companion piece to "Am I." It appeared in my high school sophomore project notebook "Poems" along with "Playmates," so I was probably around 14 or 15 when I wrote it. Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far . . . on to the stars so faint and far. Ambition by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 Men speak of their “ambition” and I smile to hear them say that within them burns such fire, such a longing to be great ... But I laugh at their “Ambition” as their wistfulness amasses; I seek Her tongue’s indulgence and Her parted legs’ crevasses. I was very ambitious about my poetry, even as a teenager. I wrote "Ambition" around age 18 or 19. as Time walked by by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 yesterday i dreamed of us again, when the air, like honey, trickled through cushioning grasses, softly flowing, pouring itself upon the masses of dreaming flowers ... then the sly, impish Hours were tentative, coy and shy while the sky swirled all its colors together, giving pleasure to the appreciative eye as Time walked by. sunbright, your smile could fill the darkest night with brilliant light or thrill the dullest day with ecstasy so long as Time did not impede our way; until It did, It did. for soon the summer hid her sunny smile ... the honeyed breaths of wind became cold, biting to the bone as Time sped on, fled from us to be gone Forevermore. this morning i awakened to the thought that you were near with honey hair and happy smile lying sweetly by my side, but then i remembered—you were gone, that u’d been toppled long ago like an orchid felled by snow as the bloom called “us” sank slowly down to die and Time roared by. ***Gentry ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 The men shined their shoes and the ladies chose their clothes; the rifle stocks were varnished till they were untarnished by a speck of dust. The men trimmed their beards; the ladies rouged their lips; the horses were groomed until the time loomed for them to ride. The men mounted their horses, the ladies did the same; then in search of game they went, a pleasant time they spent, and killed the fox. "Gentry” was published in my college literary journal, Homespun, in 1977, along with "Smoke" and four other poems of mine. I have never been a fan of hunting or fishing, or inflicting pain on other creatures. Of You by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 There is little to write of in my life, and little to write off, as so many do ... so I will write of you. You are the sunshine after the rain, the rainbow in between; you are the joy that follows fierce pain; you are the best that I've seen in my life. You are the peace that follows long strife; you are tranquility. You are an oasis in a dry land and you are the one for me! You are my love; you are my life; you are my all in all. Your hand is the hand that holds me aloft ... without you I would fall. This was the first poem of mine that appeared in my high school journal, the* Lantern*, and thus it was my first poem to appear on a printed page. A fond memory, indeed. The Communion of Sighs by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 There was a moment without the sound of trumpets or a shining light, but with only silence and darkness and a cool mist felt more than seen. I was eighteen, my heart pounding wildly within me like a fist. Expectation hung like a cry in the night, and your eyes shone like the corona of a comet. There was an instant . . . without words, but with a deeper communion, as clothing first, then inhibitions fell; liquidly our lips met —feverish, wet— forgotten, the tales of heaven and hell, in the immediacy of our fumbling union . . . when the rest of the world became distant. Then the only light was the moon on the rise, and the only sound, the communion of sighs. I wrote this poem around age 18. ***Burn, Ovid ***by Michael R. Burch “Burn Ovid”—Austin Clarke Sunday School, Faith Free Will Baptist, 1973: I sat imaging watery folds of pale silk encircling her waist. Explicit *** was the day’s “hot” topic (how breathlessly I imagined hers) as she taught us the perils of lust fraught with inhibition. I found her unaccountably beautiful, rolling implausible nouns off the edge of her tongue: *adultery, fornication, ************ ****** Acts made suddenly plausible by the faint blush of her unrouged cheeks, by her pale lips accented only by a slight quiver, a trepidation. What did those lustrous folds foretell of our uncommon desire? Why did she cross and uncross her legs lovely and long in their taupe sheaths? Why did her ******* rise pointedly, as if indicating a direction? *“Come unto me, (unto me),” together, we sang,* *cheek to breast, lips on lips, devout, afire,* *my hands up her skirt, her pants at her knees:* *all night long, all night long, in the heavenly choir.* This poem is set at Faith Christian Academy, which I attended for a year during the ninth grade, in 1972-1973. While the poem definitely had its genesis there, I believe I revised it more than once and didn't finish it till 2001, nearly 28 years later, according to my notes on the poem. The next poem, *** 101," was also written about my experiences at FCA that year. *** 101 ***by Michael R. Burch That day the late spring heat steamed through the windows of a Crayola-yellow schoolbus crawling its way up the backwards slopes of Nowheresville, North Carolina ... Where we sat exhausted from the day’s skulldrudgery and the unexpected waves of muggy, summer-like humidity ... Giggly first graders sat two abreast behind senior high students sprouting their first sparse beards, their implausible bosoms, their stranger affections ... The most unlikely coupling— Lambert, 18, the only college prospect on the varsity basketball team, the proverbial talldarkhandsome swashbuckling cocksman, grinning ... Beside him, Wanda, 13, bespectacled, in her primproper attire and pigtails, staring up at him, fawneyed, disbelieving ... And as the bus filled with the improbable musk of her, as she twitched impaled on his finger like a dead frog jarred to life by electrodes, I knew ... that love is a forlorn enterprise, that I would never understand it. This companion poem to "Burn, Ovid" is also set at Faith Christian Academy, in 1972-1973. Bound by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-15 Now it is winter—the coldest night. And as the light of the streetlamp casts strange shadows to the ground, I have lost what I once found in your arms. Now it is winter—the coldest night. And as the light of distant Venus fails to penetrate dark panes, I have remade all my chains and am bound. This poem appeared in my high school journal, the Lantern, in 1976. It was originally titled "Why Did I Go?" Paradise by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 There’s a sparkling stream And clear blue lake A home to ****** Duck and drake Where the waters flow And the winds are soft And the sky is full Of birds aloft Where the long grass waves In the gentle breeze And the setting sun Is a pure cerise Where the gentle deer Though timid and shy Are not afraid As we pass them by Where the morning dew Sparkles in the grass And the lake’s as clear As a looking glass Where the trees grow straight And tall and green Where the air is pure And fresh and clean Where the bluebird trills Her merry song As robins and skylarks Sing along A place where nature Is at her best A place of solitude Of quiet and rest This is one of my very earliest poems, written as a song. It was “published” in a high school assignment poetry notebook. All My Children by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14-16 It is May now, gentle May, and the sun shines pleasantly upon the blousy flowers of this backyard cemet'ry, upon my children as they sleep. Oh, there is Hank in the daisies now, with a mound of earth for a pillow; his face as hard as his monument, but his voice as soft as the wind through the willows. And there is Meg beside the spring that sings her endless sleep. Though it’s often said of stiller waters, sometimes quicksilver streams run deep. And there is Frankie, little Frankie, tucked in safe at last, a child who weakened and died too soon, but whose heart was always steadfast. And there is Mary by the bushes where she hid so well, her face as dark as their berries, yet her eyes far darker still. And Andy ... there is Andy, sleeping in the clover, a child who never saw the sun so soon his life was over. And Em'ly, oh my Em'ly ... the prettiest of all ... now she's put aside her dreams of lovers dark and tall for dreams dreamed not at all. It is May now, merry May and the sun shines pleasantly upon these ardent gardens, on the graves of all my children ... But they never did depart; they still live within my heart. This is a poem I had forgotten for nearly 50 years until another poet, Robert Lavett Smith, mentioned the poem "We Are Seven" by William Wordsworth. As I read Wordsworth's poem about a little girl who refused to admit that some of her siblings were missing, I remembered a poem I had written as a teenager about a mother who clung as tenaciously to the memory of her children. The line "It is May now, gentle May" popped into my head and helped me locate the poem in my archives. I believe I wrote this poem about the same time as "Jessamyn's Song," which would place it around 1972-1974 at age 14-16, or thereabouts. I can tell it's one of my early poems because I was still allowing myself archaisms like "cemet'ry" which I would have avoided in my late teens and twenties. It feels a bit older than "Jessamyn's Song" so I will guess 1972. It is admittedly a sentimental poem, but then human beings are sentimental creatures. Dance With Me by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Dance with me to the fiddles’ plaintive harmonies. Enchantingly, each highstrung string, each yearning key, each a thread within the threnody, whispers "Waltz!" then sets us free to wander, dancing aimlessly. Let us kiss beneath the stars as we slowly meet ... we'll part laughing gaily as we go to measure love’s arpeggios. Yes, dance with me, enticingly; press your lips to mine, then flee. The night is young, the stars are wild; embrace me now, my sweet, beguiled, and dance with me. The curtains are drawn, the stage is set —patterned all in grey and jet— where couples in such darkness met —careless airy silhouettes— to try love's timeless pirouettes. They, too, spun across the lawn to die in shadowy dark verdant. But dance with me. Sweet Merrilee, don't cry, I see the ironies of all the years within the moonlight on your tears, and every ****** has her fears ... So laugh with me unheedingly; love's gaiety is not for those who fail to heed the music's flow, but it is ours. Now fade away like summer rain, then pirouette ... the dance of stars that waltz among night's meteors must be the dance we dance tonight. Then come again— like winter wind. Your slender body as you sway belies the ripeness of your age, for a woman's body burns tonight beneath your gown of ****** white— a woman's ******* now rise and fall in answer to an ancient call, and a woman's hips—soft, yet full— now gently at your garments pull. So dance with me, sweet Merrilee ... the music bids us, "Waltz!" Don't flee; let us kiss beneath the stars. Love's passing pains will leave no scars as we whirl beneath false moons and heed the fiddle’s plaintive tunes ... Oh, Merrilee, the curtains are drawn, the stage is set, we, too, are stars beyond night's depths. So dance with me. I distinctly remember writing this poem my freshman year in college, after meeting George King, who taught the creative writing classes there. I would have been 18 when I started the poem, but it didn’t always cooperate and I seem to remember working on it the following year as well. Dance With Me (II) by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 While the music plays remembrance strays toward a grander time . . . Let's dance. Shadows rising, mute and grey, obscure those fervent yesterdays of youth and gay romance, but time is slipping by, and now those days just don't seem real, somehow . . . Why don't we dance? This music is a memory, for it's of another time . . . a slower, stranger time. We danced—remember how we danced?— uncaring, merry, wild and free. Remember how you danced with me? Cheek to cheek and breast to breast, your ******* hard against my chest, we danced and danced and danced. We cannot dance that way again, for the years have borne away the flame and left us only ashes, but think of all those dances, and dance with me. I believe I wrote this poem around the same time as the original “Dance With Me,” this time from the perspective of the same lovers many years later. Impotent by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-21 Tonight my pen is barren of passion, spent of poetry. I hear your name upon the rain and yet it cannot comfort me. I feel the pain of dreams that wane, of poems that falter, losing force. I write again words without end, but I cannot control their course . . . Tonight my pen is sullen and wants no more of poetry. I hear your voice as if a choice, but how can I respond, or flee? I feel a flame I cannot name that sends me searching for a word, but there is none not over-done, unless it's one I never heard. ***Lullaby ***by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight— it's all right. My newborn son, cease sighing, softly, slowly close your eyes, purse your tiny lips and kiss the crisp, cool night a warm goodbye. Fierce yet gentle fragment, the better part of me, why don't you dream a dream deep as eternity, until sunrise? Frail bit of elfin magic with eyes of brightest blue, sleep now lines your lashes, the sandman beckons you … please don't fight — it's all right. ***Say You Love Me ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 Joy and anguish surge within my soul; contesting there, they cannot be controlled, for grinding yearnings grip me like a vise. *Stars are burning; it's almost morning.* Dreams of dreams of dreams that I have dreamed dance before me, forming formless scenes; and now, at last, the feeling grows *as stars, declining, bow to morning.* And you are music echoing through dreams, rising from some far-off lyric spring; oh, somewhere in the night I hear you sing. *Stars on fire form a choir.* Now dawn's fierce brightness burns within your eyes; you laugh at me as dancing embers die. You touch me so and still I don't know why . . . *But say you love me. Say you love me.* With my daughter, by a waterfall by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 By a fountain that slowly shed its rainbows of water, I led my youngest daughter. And the rhythm of the waves that casually lazed made her sleepy as I rocked her. By that fountain I finally felt fulfillment of which I had dreamt feeling May’s warm breezes pelt petals upon me. And I held her close in the crook of my arm as she slept, breathing harmony. By a river that brazenly rolled, my daughter and I strolled toward the setting sun, and the cadence of the cold, chattering waters that flowed reminded us both of an ancient song, so we sang it together as we walked along —unsure of the words, but sure of our love— as a waterfall sighed and the sun died above. This poem was published by my college literary journal, Homespun 1976-1977. Sea Dreams by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 I. In timeless days I've crossed the waves of seaways seldom seen. By the last low light of evening the breakers that careen then dive back to the deep have rocked my ship to sleep, and so I've known the peace of a soul at last at ease there where Time's waters run in concert with the sun. With restless waves I've watched the days’ slow movements, as they hum their antediluvian songs. Sometimes I've sung along, my voice as soft and low as the sea's, while evening slowed to waver at the dim mysterious moonlit rim of dreams no man has known. In thoughtless flight, I've scaled the heights and soared a scudding breeze over endless arcing seas of waves ten miles high. I've sheared the sable skies on wings as soft as sighs and stormed the sun-pricked pitch of sunset’s scarlet-stitched, ebullient dark demise. I've climbed the sun-cleft clouds ten thousand leagues or more above the windswept shores of seas no man has sailed — great seas as grand as hell's, shores littered with the shells of men's "immortal" souls — and I've warred with dark sea-holes whose open mouths implored their depths to be explored. And I've grown and grown and grown till I thought myself the king of every silver thing . . . But sometimes late at night when the sorrowing wavelets sing sad songs of other times, I taste the windborne rime of a well-remembered day on the whipping ocean spray, and I bow my head to pray . . . II. It's been a long, hard day; sometimes I think I work too hard. Tonight I'd like to take a walk down by the sea — down by those salty waves brined with the scent of Infinity, down by that rocky shore, down by those cliffs that I used to climb when the wind was **** with a taste of lime and every dream was a sailor's dream. Then small waves broke light, all frothy and white, over the reefs in the ramblings of night, and the pounding sea —a mariner’s dream— was bound to stir a boy's delight to such a pitch that he couldn't desist, but was bound to splash through the surf in the light of ten thousand stars, all shining so bright. Christ, those nights were fine, like a well-aged wine, yet more scalding than fire with the marrow’s desire. Then desire was a fire burning wildly within my bones, fiercer by far than the frantic foam . . . and every wish was a moan. *Oh, for those days to come again! Oh, for a sea and sailing men! Oh, for a little time!* It's almost nine and I must be back home by ten, and then . . . what then? I have less than an hour to stroll this beach, less than an hour old dreams to reach . . . And then, what then? Tonight I'd like to play old games— games that I used to play with the somber, sinking waves. When their wraithlike fists would reach for me, I'd dance between them gleefully, mocking their witless craze —their eager, unchecked craze— to batter me to death with spray as light as breath. Oh, tonight I'd like to sing old songs— songs of the haunting moon drawing the tides away, songs of those sultry days when the sun beat down till it cracked the ground and the sea gulls screamed in their agony to touch the cooling clouds. The distant cooling clouds. Then the sun shone bright with a different light over different lands, and I was always a pirate in flight. Oh, tonight I'd like to dream old dreams, if only for a while, and walk perhaps a mile along this windswept shore, a mile, perhaps, or more, remembering those days, safe in the soothing spray of the thousand sparkling streams that rush into this sea. I like to slumber in the caves of a sailor's dark sea-dreams . . . oh yes, I'd love to dream, to dream and dream and dream. “Sea Dreams” was one of my more ambitious early poems. The next poem, "Son," is a companion piece to “Sea Dreams” that was written around the same time, age 18. I remember showing this poem to a fellow student and he asked how on earth I came up with a poem about being a father who abandoned his son to live on an island! I think the meter is pretty good for the age at which it was written. Son by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 An island is bathed in blues and greens as a weary sun settles to rest, and the memories singing through the back of my mind lull me to sleep as the tide flows in. Here where the hours pass almost unnoticed, my heart and my home will be till I die, but where you are is where my thoughts go when the tide is high. [etc., in the handwritten version, the father laments abandoning his son] So there where the skylarks sing to the sun as the rain sprinkles lightly around, understand if you can the mind of a man whose conscience so long ago drowned. The People Loved What They Had Loved Before by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 We did not worship at the shrine of tears; we knew not to believe, not to confess. And so, ahemming victors, to false cheers, we wrote off love, we gave a stern address to things that we disapproved of, things of yore. And the people loved what they had loved before. We did not build stone monuments to stand six hundred years and grow more strong and arch like bridges from the people to the Land beyond their reach. Instead, we played a march, pale Neros, sparking flames from door to door. And the people loved what they had loved before. We could not pipe of cheer, or even woe. We played a minor air of Ire (in E). The sheep chose to ignore us, even though, long destitute, we plied our songs for free. We wrote, rewrote and warbled one same score. And the people loved what they had loved before. At last outlandish wailing, we confess, ensued, because no listeners were left. We built a shrine to tears: our goddess less divine than man, and, like us, long bereft. We stooped to love too late, too Learned to ***** And the people loved what they had loved before. Rag Doll by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 On an angry sea a rag doll is tossed back and forth between cruel waves that have marred her easy beauty and ripped away her clothes. And her arms, once smoothly tanned, are gashed and torn and peeling as she dances to the waters’ rockings and reelings. *She’s a rag doll now, a toy of the sea, and never before has she been so free, or so uneasy.* She’s slammed by the hammering waves, the flesh shorn away from her bones, and her silent lips must long to scream, and her corpse must long to find its home. *For she’s a rag doll now, at the mercy of all the sea’s relentless power, cruelly being ravaged with every passing hour.* Her eyes are gone; her lips are swollen shut to the pounding waves whose waters reached out to fill her mouth with puddles of agony. Her limbs are limp; her skull is crushed; her hair hangs like seaweed in trailing tendrils draped across a never-ending sea. *For she’s a rag doll now, a worn-out toy with which the waves will play ten thousand thoughtless games until her bed is made.* Have I been too long at the fair? by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 Have I been too long at the fair? The summer has faded, the leaves have turned brown; the Ferris wheel teeters ... not up, yet not down. Have I been too long at the fair? This is one of my very earliest poems, written around age 15 when we were living with my grandfather in his house on Chilton Street, within walking distance of the Nashville fairgrounds. “Have I been too long at the fair?” was published in my high school literary journal, the Lantern. hey pete by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 for Pete Rose hey pete, it's baseball season and the sun ascends the sky, encouraging a schoolboy's dreams of winter whizzing by; go out, go out and catch it, put it in a jar, set it on a shelf and then you'll be a Superstar. When I was a boy, Pete Rose was my favorite baseball player; this poem is not a slam at him, but rather an ironic jab at the term "superstar." ***Earthbound ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 *Tashunka Witko, better known as Crazy Horse, had a vision of a red-tailed hawk at Sylvan Lake, South Dakota. In his vision he saw himself riding a floating and crazily-dancing spirit horse through a storm as the hawk flew above him, shrieking. When he awoke, a red-tailed hawk was perched near his horse. * Earthbound, and yet I now fly through the clouds that are aimlessly drifting ... so high that no sound echoing by below where the mountains are lifting the sky can be heard. Like a bird, but not meek, like a hawk from a distance regarding its prey, I will shriek, not a word, but a screech, and my terrible clamor will turn them to clay— the sheep, the earthbound. I believe I wrote “Earthbound” as a college sophomore, age 19 or 20. Huntress by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 after Baudelaire Lynx-eyed, cat-like and cruel, you creep across a crevice dropping deep into a dark and doomed domain. Your claws are sheathed. You smile, insane. Rain falls upon your path, and pain pours down. Your paws are pierced. You pause and heed the oft-lamented laws which bid you not begin again till night returns. You wail like wind, the sighing of a soul for sin, and give up hunting for a heart. Till sunset falls again, depart, though hate and hunger urge you—"On!" Heed, hearts, your hope—the break of dawn. Flying by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15-16 i shall rise and try the ****** wings of thought ten thousand times before i fly ... and then i'll sleep and waste ten thousand nights before i dream; but when at last ... i soar the distant heights of undreamt skies where never hawks nor eagles dared to go, as i laugh among the meteors flashing by somewhere beyond the bluest earth-bound seas ... if i'm not told i’m just a man, then i shall know just what I am. This is one of my early "I Am" poems, written around age 16-17. According to my notes, I may have revised the poem later, in 1978, but if so the changes were minor because the poem remains very close to the original. Love Unfolded Like a Flower by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 for Christy Love unfolded like a flower; Pale petals pinked and blushed to see the sky. I came to know you and to trust you in moments lost to springtime slipping by. Then love burst outward, leaping skyward, and untamed blossoms danced against the wind. All I wanted was to hold you; though passion tempted once, we never sinned. Now love's gay petals fade and wither, and winter beckons, whispering a lie. We were friends, but friendships end … yes, friendships end and even roses die. Cameo by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Breathe upon me the breath of life; gaze upon me with sardonyx eyes. Here, where times flies in the absence of light, all ecstasies are intimations of night. Hold me tonight in the spell I have cast; promise what cannot be given. Show me the stairway to heaven. Jacob's-ladder grows all around us; Jacob's ladder was fashioned of onyx. So breathe upon me the breath of life; gaze upon me with sardonic eyes … and, if in the morning I am not wise, at least then I'll know if this dream we call life was worth the surmise. Published by *Borderless Journal *(Singapore) ***Analogy ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Our embrace is like a forest lying blanketed in snow; you, the lily, are enchanted by each shiver trembling through; I, the snowfall, cling in earnest as I press so close to you. You dream that you now are sheltered; I dream that I may break through. Published by Borderless Journal (Singapore) Flight by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 Eagle, raven, blackbird, crow … What you are I do not know. Where you go I do not care. I'm unconcerned whose meal you bear. But as you mount the sun-splashed sky, I only wish that I could fly. I only wish that I could fly. Robin, hawk or whippoorwill … Should men care that you hunger still? I do not wish to see your home. I do not wonder where you roam. But as you scale the sky's bright stairs, I only wish that I were there. I only wish that I were there. Sparrow, lark or chickadee … Your markings I disdain to see. Where you fly concerns me not. I scarcely give your flight a thought. But as you wheel and arc and dive, I, too, would feel so much alive. I, too, would feel so much alive. ***Freedom ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19-20 Freedom is not so much an idea as a feeling of open roads, of the hobo's call, of autumn leaves in brisk breeze reeling before a demon violently stealing all vestiges of the beauty of fall, preparing to burden bare tree limbs with the heaviness of her icy loads. And freedom is not so much a letting go as a seizing of forbidden pleasure, of ***** sport, of all that is delightful and pleasing, each taken totally within its season and exploited to the fullness of its worth though it last but a moment and repeat itself never. Oh, freedom is not so much irresponsibility as a desire to accept all the credit and all the blame for one's deeds, to achieve success or failure on one's own, to require either or both as a consequence of an inner fire, not to shirk one's duty, but to see one's duty become himself—himself to tame. Childhood's End by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20-22 How well I remember those fiery Septembers: dry leaves, dying embers of summers aflame, lay trampled before me and fluttered, imploring the bright, dancing rain to descend once again. Now often I've thought on the meaning of autumn, how the rainbows' enchantments defeated dark clouds while robins repeated ancient songs sagely heeded so wisely when winters before they'd flown south. And still, in remembrance, I've conjured a semblance of childhood and how the world seemed to me then; but early this morning, when, rising and yawning, I found a gray hair … it was all beyond my ken. ***Easter, in Jerusalem ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 The streets are hushed from fervent song, for strange lights fill the sky tonight. A slow mist creeps up and down the streets and a star has vanished that once burned bright. Oh Bethlehem, Bethlehem, who tends your flocks tonight? "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep," a Shepherd calls through the markets and the cattle stalls, but a fiery sentinel has passed from sight. Golgotha shudders uneasily, then wearily settles to sleep again, and I wonder how they dream who beat him till he screamed, "Father, forgive them!" Ah Nazareth, Nazareth, now sunken deep into dark sleep, do you heed His plea as demons flee, "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep." The temple trembles violently, a veil lies ripped in two, and a good man lies on a mountainside whose heart was shattered too. Galilee, oh Galilee, do your waters pulse and froth? "Feed my sheep," "Feed my sheep," the waters creep to form a starlit cross. “Easter, in Jerusalem” was published in my college literary journal, Homespun. ***Gone ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14 Tonight, it is dark and the stars do not shine. A man who is gone was a good friend of mine. We were friends. And the sky was the strangest shade of orange on gold when I awoke to find him gone ... "Gone" is actually gone, destroyed in a moment of frustration along with other poems I have not been able to recreate from memory. At some point between age 14 and 15, I destroyed all the poems I had written, out of frustration. I was able to recreate some of the poems from memory, but not all. Canticle: an Aubade by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15-16 Misty morning sunlight hails the dawning of new day; dreams drift into drowsiness before they fade away. Dew drops on the green grass speak of splendor in the sun; the silence lauds a songstress and the skillful song she's sung. Among the weeping willows the mist clings to the leaves; and, laughing in the early light among the lemon trees, there goes a brace of bees. Dancing in the depthless blue like small, bright bits of steel, the butterflies flock to the west and wander through dawn's fields. Above the thoughtless traffic of the world, intent on play, a flock of mallard geese in v's dash onward as they race. And dozing in the daylight lies a new-born collie pup, drinking in bright sunlight through small eyes still tightly shut. And high above the meadows, blazing through the warming air, a shaft of brilliant sunshine has started something there … it looks like summer. I distinctly remember writing this poem in Ms. Davenport's class at Maplewood High School. It's not a great poem, but the music is pretty good for a beginner. Eternity beckons . . . by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Eternity beckons . . . the wine becomes fire in my veins. You are a petal, unfolding, cajoling. I am your sun. I will shine with the fierceness of my desire; touched, you will burst into flame. I will shine and again shine and again shine. I will shine. I will shine. You will burn and again burn and again burn. You will burn. You will burn. We will extinguish ourselves in our ecstasy; We will sigh like the wind. We will ebb into darkness, our love become ashes . . . never speaking of sin. Never speaking of sin. Every Man Has a Dream by Michael R. Burch, circa age 23 lines composed at Elliston Square Every man has a dream that he cannot quite touch ... a dream of contentment, of soft, starlit rain, of a breeze in the evening that, rising again, reminds him of something that cannot have been, and he calls this dream love. And each man has a dream that he fears to let live, for he knows: to succumb is to throw away all. So he curses, denies it and locks it within the cells of his heart and he calls it a sin, this madness, this love. But each man in his living falls prey to his dreams, and he struggles, but so he ensures that he falls, and he finds in the end that he cannot deny the joy that he feels or the tears that he cries in the darkness of night for this light he calls love. Every time I think of leaving … by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Every time I think of leaving … I see my mother's eyes staring at me in despair, and I feel the old scar throbbing again. And I think of the father that I never knew; I remember how, as a child, I could never understand not having a father. And when the tears start falling, running slowly down my cheeks, I think of our two sons and all their many dreams— dreams no better than dust the day that I leave. And when my hands start shaking, when my eyes will not adjust, when I know there's no tomorrow for the two of us, then I think of our young daughter who prays, eyes tightly shut, not to lose her mother or father … and I know that I can't leave. Every time I think of going, I close my eyes and see the days we spent together when love was all we dreamed, and I wish that I could find (how I wish that I could find!) a reason to believe. Go down to the hoe-down by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 Go down to the hoe-down. Pause in the pungent, moonless night, watching the partners as they dance; go down . . . don’t you know . . . it's your only chance? Go down to the hoe-down. Go down to the hoe-down, and whirl as you dance through a dream of wine, through a world once your world, through a world without time, through a world rich and rhythmic, through a world full of rhyme. O, go down to the hoe-down. Go down. As they slow down, the couples will whirl to a reel of romance, for the music has called them, and so they must dance. Go down, don't you know that this is your chance? Go down to the hoe-down. Sappho’s Lullaby by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 for Jeremy Hushed yet melodic, the hills and the valleys sleep unaware of the nightingale's call while the dew-laden lilies lie listening, glistening . . . this is their night, the first night of fall. Son, tonight, a woman awaits you; she is more vibrant, more lovely than spring. She'll meet you in moonlight, soft and warm, all alone . . . then you'll know why the nightingale sings. Just yesterday the stars were afire; then how desire flashed through my veins! But now I am older; night has come, I’m alone . . . for you I will sing as the nightingale sings. Belfast's Streets, circa age 14-20 by Michael R. Burch Belfast's streets are strangely silent, deserted for a while, and only shadows wander her alleys, slick and vile with children's darkening blood. Her sidewalks sigh and her cobblestones clack in misery beneath my booted feet, longing to be free from their legacy of blood, and yet there's no relief, for it seems that there's no God. Her sirens scream and her PAs plead and her shops and churches sob, but the city throbs —her heart the mobs that are also her disease— and still there's no relief, for it seems there is no God. I listen to a radio and men who seem to feel that only "right" is real. "We can't give in to men like them, for we have an ideal and God is on our side!" one angrily replies, but the sidewalks seem to chide, clicking like snapped teeth. And if God is on our side, then where is God's relief? And if there is a God, then why is there no love and why is there no peace? "Sweet innocence! this land was wild and better wild again than torn apart beneath the feet of ‘educated' men!" The other screams in rage and hate, and a war's begun that will not end till the show goes off at ten. Now a little girl is singing, walking t'ward me 'cross the street, her voice so high and sweet it hangs upon the air, and her eyes are Irish eyes, and her hair is Irish hair, all red and wild and fair, and she wears a Catholic cross, but she doesn't really care. She's singing to a puppy and hugging him between the verses of her hymn. Now here's a little love and here's a little peace, and maybe here's our Maker, present though unseen, on Belfast's dreary streets. This is one of my earliest poems, as indicated by the occasional use of archaisms. Hills by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 For many years I have fought the rocks and the sand and the weeds, the frost and the floods and the trees of these hills to build myself a home. Now it seems I will fight no longer, but it’s a hard thing for an old warrior to give up. Here in these hills let them lay down my bones where the sun settles wearily to rest, and let my spirit dream in its endless sleep that someday it also shall rise to kiss the morning clouds. This wall of stone that I built of rock hewn by my own hands shall not stand long through the passage of time, and when it lies in cakes of dust and its particles kiss my bones, then the battle that these hills and I fought will finally have been won. But mother Gaia will not shun her wayward son for long; she will take me and cradle me in her mud, cover me with a blanket of snow, then sing me to sleep with a nightingale’s song. Now the night grows cold within me; no more summers shall I see … but, nevertheless, when June comes, my spirit shall wander the paths through the trees that lead to these hills, these ****** lovely hills, and then I shall be free. All the young sailors* *by Michael R. Burch, circa age 20 All the young sailors follow the sea, leaving their lovers to live and be free, to brave violent tempests, to ride out wild storms, to dream of new lovers seductive and warm, to drink until sunset then stretch out at dawn in the dew of emotions they don't understand, to follow the sunlight, to flee from the rain, to live out their longings though often in pain, to dream of the children they never shall see while bucking the waves of an unending sea till, racked by harsh coughing, his lungs almost gone, straining to catch one last glimpse of the sun, the last of the sailors finally succumbs, for all the young sailors die young. Hush, my darling by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Hush, my darling; all your tears will never bring again that which Time has taken. And though you’re so ****** lovely that a god might wish to make you his, Time cares not for loveliness; he takes what he will take. Sleep now darling, don’t awaken till the dream is over. Dream of fields of clover dancing in an autumn wind. Lie down at my side and let sleep's soothing tide carry you into an ocean deep. Be silent, world; let her sleep. Do not disturb a child upon her journey mild into the realm of dreams. Sleep, carry her to that sweet state where little girls need not know Fate dashes the dreams of men. Amora’s Complaint by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 Will you walk with me tonight? for the moon hangs low and travelers seldom disturb the silence of this ghostly kingdom. We shall not be seen if we linger by this stream that shimmers in the starlight. Will you talk to me awhile? For sounds don’t carry very far; the interminable silence is barely marred by the labored breathing of the "giant" who lies sleeping in caverns fetid and vile, and I crave your immaculate smile. So close to death, the final sleep, he hastens as he lies. Silence louder than his sighs drifts on the languid air toward his musty lair, and all life that it finds, it keeps. And though he sleeps, in dreams content, he mistakes bile for dew, for he knows not what is true. His eyes are worse than blind men's eyes, for the images they “see” disguise how swift and sure is death's descent. His ears hear songs that are not sung; his nostrils scent a faint perfume permeating midnight's gloom, when all the while his rotting flesh heralds worms to view his death. He festers, having long been stung. O, once he was as you are now— full of passion, wild and free, majestic, formed most perfectly. But tonight, hideously deformed, he himself becomes a worm; though he doesn't see that he's changed, somehow. Why, he still calls me his “dearest friend,” although I cannot bear to near that stinking, dying sufferer! He asks me why I stray so far from the "comfort" of his arms . . . Tonight, I said, "This is the end." O, he swore to not let me depart, but when he couldn't even rise to chase me as I leapt the skies, I think he almost understood. He frowned. His skin, like rotting wood, seemed to come apart. He almost touched my heart. But such a vile and leprous being I cannot have to be my love. So while the stars shine high above and you and I are here alone, help me undress; unzip my gown. Come, sate my Desire this perfect evening. Blue Cowboy by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 He slumps against the pommel, a lonely, heartsick boy— his horse his sole companion, his gun his only toy —and bitterly regretting he ever came so far, forsaking all home's comforts to sleep beneath the stars, he sighs. He thinks about the lover who awaits his kiss no more till a tear anoints his lashes, lit by uncaring stars. He reaches to his aching breast, withdraws a golden lock, and kisses it in silence as empty as his thoughts while the wind sighs. Blue cowboy, ride that lonesome ridge between the earth and distant stars. Do not fall; the scorpions would leap to feast upon your heart. Blue cowboy, sift the burnt-out sand for a drop of water warm and brown. Dream of streams like silver seams even as you gulp it down. Blue cowboy, sing defiant songs to hide the weakness in your soul. Blue cowboy, ride that lonesome ridge and wish that you were going home as the stars sigh. Cowpoke by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 Sleep, old man... your day has long since passed. The endless plains, cool midnight rains and changeless ragged cows alone remain of what once was. You cannot know just how the Change will **** the windswept plains that you so loved... and so sleep now, O yes, sleep now... before you see just how the Change will come. Sleep, old man... your dreams are not our dreams. The Rio Grande, stark silver sands and every obscure brand of steed and cow are sure to pass away as you do now. I believe “Cowpoke” was written around the same time as “Blue Cowboy,” perhaps on the same day. If Not For Love by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 The little child who cries, brushing sleep from startled eyes, might not have awakened from her dreams to fill the night with plaintive screams if not for love. The little collie pup who tore the sofa up and pleads here in a mournful crouch, might not have ripped apart the couch if not for love. And the little flower *** that broke and littered the rug with sod might not have been dropped if a child had not tried to place it at her mother's bedside— if not for love. Ecstasy by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 A soft breeze stirs the sun-drenched grass that parts, reforms, and then is still. Sunshine, cascading from above, sipped by the flowers to their fill, then bursts out in the rosy reds, the violet blues and buttercup yellows, bolder, more eager, given fresh birth, somehow transformed within frail petals into an ecstasy of colors broadcast across the receptive land, which now wears a cloak like Joseph’s, nature’s brand. EARLY POEMS: HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, PART III Sarjann by Michael R. Burch What did I ever do to make you hate me so? I was only nine years old, lonely and afraid, a small stranger in a large land. Why did you abuse me and taunt me? Even now, so many years later, the question still haunts me: what did I ever do? Why did you despise me and reject me, pushing and shoving me around when there was no one to protect me? Why did you draw a line in the bone-dry autumn dust, daring me to cross it? Did you want to see me cry? Well, if you did, you did. * … oh, leave me alone, for the sky opens wide in a land of no rain, and who are you to bring me such pain? …* This is one of the few "true poems" I've written, in the sense of being about the "real me." I had a bad experience with an older girl named Sarjann (or something like that), who used to taunt me and push me around at a bus stop in Roseville, California (the "large land" of "no rain" where I was a "small stranger" because I only lived there for a few months). I believe this poem was written around age 16-17, but could have been started earlier. Shadows by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Alone again as evening falls, I join gaunt shadows and we crawl up and down my room's dark walls. Up and down and up and down, against starlight—strange, mirthless clowns— we merge, emerge, submerge … then drown. We drown in shadows starker still, shadows of the somber hills, shadows of sad selves we spill, tumbling, to the ground below. There, caked in grimy, clinging snow, we flutter feebly, moaning low for days dreamed once an age ago when we weren't shadows, but were men … when we were men, or almost so. “Shadows” appeared in my college literary journal, Homespun. Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Though night has come, I'm not alone, for stars appear —fierce, faint and far— to dance until they disappear. They reappear as clouds roll by in stormy billows past bent willows; sometimes they almost seem to sigh. And time rolls on, on past the willows, on past the stormclouds as they billow, on to the stars so faint and far … on to the stars so faint and far. I believe this poem was written in my early twenties, around 1980, then revised and filed in 1982. Snapdragons: A Pleasant Fable with a Very Happy Ending by Michael R. Burch, age 21 We threaded snapdragons through her dark hair and drank berry wine straight from the vine. We were too young for love (or strong drink) but her lips were warm and her eyes so charmed, that I robbed a Brinks and bought her minks. The Road Always Taken by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 We have come to the time of the parting of ways; now love, we must linger no longer, amazed at the fleetness with which we have squandered our days. We have come to the time of the closing of scrolls; beyond us, indecipherable Eternity rolls … and I fear for our souls. We have come to the point of no fork, no return; above us, a few cooling stars dimly burn … And yet I still yearn. Tonight how I miss you by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 Tonight how I miss you, as never before, though morning is only a moment away. Oh, I know I should sleep, but I lie here, distraught, as you flit through my mind—such a wild, haunting thought. And love is a dream that I lately imagined— a dream, yet so real I can touch it at times. But how to explain? I can hardly envision myself without you, like a farce without mimes. Deep, deep in my soul lurks a creature of fire, dormant, not living unless you are near; now, because you are gone, he grows dim, and in dire need of your presence, he wavers, I fear … How he and I wish, how we wish you were here. The Insurrection of Sighs by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 She was my Shilo, my Gethsemane; on a green ***** of moss she nestled my head and breathed upon my insensate lips the fierce benedictions of her ecstatic sighs … But the veiled allegations of her disconsolate tears! Years I abided the eclectic assaults of her flesh … She loved me the most when I was most sorely pressed; she undressed with delight for her ministrations when all I needed was a moment’s rest … She anointed my lips with strange dews at her perilous breast; the insurrection of sighs left me fallen, distressed, at her elegant heel. I felt the hard iron, the cold steel, in her words and I knew: the terrible arrow showed through my conscripted flesh. The sun in retreat left its barb in a maelstrom of light. Love’s last peal of surrender went sinking and dying—unheard. According to my notes, I wrote this poem at age 22 in 1980, must have forgotten about it, then revised it on January 31, 1999. But I wasn’t happy with the first stanza and revised the poem again on September 22, 2023, a mere 43 years after I wrote the original version! Yesterday My Father Died by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 *Rice Krispies and bananas, milk and orange juice, newspapers stiff with frozen dew …* Yesterday my father died and the feelings that I tried to hide he'll never know, unless he saw through my disguise. *Alarm clocks and radios, crumpled sheets and pillows, housecoats and tattered, too-small slippers …* Why did I never say I cared? Why were few secrets ever shared? For now there's nothing left of him except the clothes he used to wear. *Dimmed lights and smoky murmurs, a brief "Goodnight!" and fitful slumber, yesterday's forgotten dreams …* Why did my father have to go, knowing that I loved him so? Or did he know? Because, it seems, I never told him so. *The last words he spoke to me, his laughter in the night, mementos jammed in cluttered cabinets …* What is this "love?" by Michael R. Burch, age 18 What is this "love" that drives men to such lengths as to betray their hearts and turn away from all resolve that once had granted strength and courage to them in life's harshest days? What is this "love" that causes men to shun the friends and family they once held so dear? What causes them to spurn the brilliant sun, to seek some gloomy cloister’s bitter tears? What is this "love" that urges men to yield their hearts' most cherished hopes and will’s restraint? What causes them to throw down reason’s shields, to spill their blood, till sense at last grows faint? This is the weakness in us, one and all— the love of love, the will to kneel, the hope, perhaps, to fall. “What is this ‘love’" was one of my earliest sonnets. You'll never know by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 You'll never know just how I need you, though you ought to know after all this time; you'll never see how much I want you, though your touch can tempt these words to rhyme. For storm clouds grow till stars flee, hidden; bright lightning rails against mankind; wild waves reach out toward scorched comets; but you do not see. You must be blind. Sundown by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Sunset’s shadows touch your eyes She’d rather have the truth than lies. wherein I find no alibis. And that seems strange … I wonder why. Now you and I have come this far, She seems so lovely and so calm. but further off, no guiding star. And yet I know that she is scarred. But without stars how can we see What’s best for her is best for me. ourselves, or where our paths fork free? And yet I loved her so sincerely! I think that we should end it here How can love end without a tear? and I can see that you agree. What’s best for her is best for me. Sunrise by Michael R. Burch, age 17 I ran toward a meadow that shimmered, all ablaze, and laughed to feel the buttercups my skin so softly graze. My soul was full of passion, my eyes were full of light, as sunrise crept into the depths of heart that had harbored only night. I leapt to catch a butterfly, then let it go again, and its glorious flight into the light caused me to clutch my pen and dash back to my darkling room to let the sunrise in, but not through open shutters,– through poems and psalms and hymns. Here “darkling” is a rare word that appears in more than one masterpiece of poetry. Spring dream time by Michael R. Burch, age 19 There are no dreams of springtime tomorrow left to my heart now that winter has come, nor passion to shine like a sun in ascendance to fierce incandescence; my spirit is numb. How shall I write when the words hold no meaning? How shall I feel, when all feeling is gone? How shall I seek what has never had presence or gather an essence I never have known? How to recapture what I once believed in, lost to strange seasons of riotous sun? How to rekindle the heart's effervescence, the spirit's resplendence, when springtime has flown? How will I write what has never been written? How can this ink leap from pen into poem? How can I believe what I know has no feasance, reducing the distance from fancied to known? Are there no others who dream not to lessen, not to wilt before winter, not to weaken—not some who **** to hellfire this winter of demons, imagining seasons of springtime to come? Tell me what i am by michael r. burch, circa age 14-16 Tell me what i am, for i have often wondered why i live. Do u know? Please, tell me so ... drive away this darkness from within. For my heart is black with sin and i have often wondered why i am; and my thoughts are lacking light, though i have often sought what was right. Now it is night; please drive away this darkness from without, for i doubt that i will see the coming of the day without ur help. This heartfelt little poem appeared in my high school journal. I believe I wrote it around age 14 to 16 during the period I wrote related "I am/am I" poems such as "I Am Lonely," "Am I," "Time" and "Why Did I Go?" It remains unpublished and unsubmitted outside the Lantern. You didn't have time by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 You didn't have time to love me, always hurrying here and hurrying there; you didn't have time to love me, and you didn't have time to care. You were playing a reel like a fiddle half-strung: too busy for love, "too old" to be young … Well, you didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time to take time and you didn't have time to try. Every time I asked you why, you said, "Because, my love; that's why." And then you didn't have time at all, my love. You didn't have time at all. You were wheeling and diving in search of a sun that had blinded your eyes and left you undone. Well, you didn't have time, and now you have none. You didn't have time, and now you have none. You have become the morning light by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 You have become the morning light that floods from heaven, fair upon the dewed expanses of each lawn … I lift my face, for you are dawn. And in the warmth that, fanned to flame, I feel against my naked flesh, I find the fierceness of desire— the passions of each wild caress. Now how I long to make you mine in such a moment, as your ******* burn like fire in my hands, forming flame from drunkenness. And if in ardor for the sun or for your touch or for the wine, my lips should crush yours in a kiss so harsh and heated, tears combine with sweat and anguish till beads form— salt beads of passion on your brow, then lover, we will burn with dawn, for in your eyes the sun shines now. When I was in my heyday by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22 When I was in my heyday, I howled to see the moon; the wail of a wolf, shrill, rising … then gruff echoed through night, such an impassioned tune! When I was in my heyday, hearts fluttered at my feet; I gathered them in like blossoms the wind had slaughtered and flung, but their fragrance was sweet. When I was in my heyday, I cursed the cage of stars that blocked me from rising above them and flying in rapture, uncaptured, beyond their bright bars. When I was in my heyday, my dreams were a dazzling mist that baffled my vision and hid farthest heaven, but what did I care? I clenched fire in my fist! The Latter Days: an Update by Michael R. Burch, age 22 1. Little Richard grew up. Now the world is not the same, somehow. And Elvis Presley passed away— an idol but with feet of clay. The Beatles left have shorn their locks; John Lennon died and Heaven rocks, though Yoko Ono still remains. (The earth is full of passing pains.) 2. The wall is being built, we hear, although the reason’s far from clear. But there’s one thing we know for sure: there’s never money for the poor. There are, however, trillions for the one percent, and waging war. ’Cause Tweety has an “awesome” plan: kiss Putin’s *** and nuke Iran! 3. The Hebrew prophets long ago warned of a Trump of Doom, and so we wonder if this “little horn” may be the Beast who earned their scorn. But surely not! Trump claims to be our Savior, true Divinity! So please relax, admire his rod, and trust this Orange Demigod! I wrote the first stanza at age 22 in 1980, then updated the rest of the poem after Trump became president in 2016. The Swing by Michael R. Burch (http://www.thehypertexts.com/Michael_R_Burch_Poet_Poetry_Picture_Bio.htm), circa age 18 There was a Swing tied to a tall elm that reached out over the river. There, I used to send you flying out into the autumn air till you began to shiver, then I’d gather you in again, hugging you to keep you warm. How I loved the scent of your hair and the flush of your cheeks! I’d dream of you for weeks when you were at Vassar and I was at Mayer. Then, come the summer, how I loved to see your knee-length skirt billowing about you, revealing your legs, aloed and darkly lovely, and to feel your ample hips —so soft, so full, so warm— when I touched them, “accidentally,” of course, while swinging you. You always knew, I’m sure of that now. And you never let me go too far. But your kisses were warm. Oh, I remember—your kisses were warm! *** I’d often dream of ********** you, and once, just once, when I was helping you down from the Swing, I touched your breast, and you paused. Hurriedly, I unbuttoned your blouse as you stood breathless, and with good cause, after riding the Swing as wild as I swung you. Your bra was Immaculate White, your ******* warm and firm beneath the thin material. You said nothing until I flipped your skirt up, then slipped my fingers inside the waistband of your matchless cotton ******* to feel your hips, so full and so inviting, and then your nether lips. At which you said, “That’s enough,” gently, and it was. *** Now I think of those days and I wonder why I ever let you go. I remember one dark hour when, standing in the snow, you told me to take you or to let you go. I was a fool. Proud, and a fool. All you asked was for us to be married after we finished school. But I was a fool. *** But I always loved you— my wild risk taker! My sweet gentle ******* of elms, my lovely heartbreaker. *** Now you’re a dancer, and a fine one, I’m told. I saw you, once, in men’s magazine. You hair was still maple with highlights of gold, your eyes just as green. But somehow you didn’t quite seem the wild sweet rambunctious angel of my dreams who’d defy men’s eyes and the edicts of heaven simply to Swing. Twelve-Thirty by Michael R. Burh, circa age 19 How cold the nights become so quickly; now a small fire does little to quench the winter's thirst for warmth. Sometimes it seems that all my life has been an endless winter: the longer it grew, the more of me it demanded … and time goes slowly when a man's strength is not enough to meet his needs. Tonight I feel an old man creeping into my bones, willing to die and sleep and never dream, and I accept him, not because I wish to lie and live a life of peaceful ease until I die, but because I am too weak and too weary to wish it otherwise … and a man is so very close to the edge when he lacks the strength to wish. Long ago, when I was young, I would run and fall and cry and not give up. But now it is twelve-thirty, the darkest hour of the night, and I am at the darkest point that I have ever known in life. So even as the frigid winds pass silently across the hills, I feel my spirit sigh within and steal into its cell. No longer does it venture forth to dare new feats and find its fate, but it lies asleep throughout the night and does not awake except to eat a little more of my life away. Published by Borderless Journal (Singapore) I believe "My Grandfather's Hills" and "Twelve-Thirty" were written on the same day, or very close to each other. ***Sea Dreams ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 I. In timeless days I've crossed the waves of seaways seldom seen. By the last low light of evening the breakers that careen then dive back to the deep have rocked my ship to sleep, and so I've known the peace of a soul at last at ease there where Time's waters run in concert with the sun. With restless waves I've watched the days' slow movements, as they hum their antediluvian songs. Sometimes I've sung along, my voice as soft and low as the sea's, while evening slowed to waver at the dim mysterious moonlit rim of dreams no man has known. In thoughtless flight, I've scaled the heights and soared a scudding breeze over endless arcing seas of waves ten miles high. I've sheared the sable skies on wings as soft as sighs and stormed the sun-pricked pitch of sunset's scarlet-stitched, ebullient dark demise. I've climbed the sun-cleft clouds ten thousand leagues or more above the windswept shores of seas no vessel's sailed — great seas as grand as hell's, shores littered with the shells of men's "immortal" souls — and I've warred with dark sea-holes whose open mouths implored their depths to be explored. And I've grown and grown and grown till I thought myself the king of every silver thing … But sometimes late at night when the sorrowing wavelets sing sad songs of other times, I taste the windborne rime of a well-remembered day on the whipping ocean spray, and I bow my head to pray … II. It's been a long, hard day; sometimes I think I work too hard… Tonight I'd like to take a walk down by the sea — down by those salty waves brined with the scent of Infinity, down by that rocky shore, down by those cliffs I'd so often climb when the wind was **** with the tang of lime and every dream was a sailor's dream. Then small waves broke light, all frothy and white, over the reefs in the ramblings of night, and the pounding sea —a mariner's dream— was bound to stir a boy's delight to such a pitch that he couldn't desist, but was bound to splash through the surf in the light of ten thousand stars, all shining so bright! Christ, those nights were fine, like a well-seasoned wine, yet more scalding than fire with the marrow's desire. Then desire was a fire burning wildly within my bones, fiercer by far than the frantic foam … and every wish was a moan! *Oh, for those days to come again! Oh, for a sea and sailing men! Oh, for a little time!* It's almost nine and I must be back home by ten, and then … what then? I have less than an hour to stroll this beach, less than an hour old dreams to reach … And then, what then? Tonight I'd like to play old games— games that I used to play with the somber, sinking waves. When their wraithlike fists would reach for me, I'd dance between them gleefully, mocking their witless craze —their eager, unchecked craze— to batter me to death with spray as light as breath. Oh, tonight I'd like to sing old songs— songs of the haunting moon drawing the tides away, songs of those sultry days when the sun beat down till it cracked the ground and the sea gulls screamed in their agony to touch the cooling clouds. The distant cooling clouds. Then the sun shone bright with a different light over sprightlier lands, and I was always a pirate in flight. Oh, tonight I'd like to dream old dreams, if only for a while, and walk perhaps a mile along this windswept shore, a mile, perhaps, or more, remembering those days, safe in the soothing spray of the thousand sparkling streams that tumble into this sea. I like to slumber in the caves of a sailor's dark sea-dreams … oh yes, I'd love to dream, *to dream and dream and dream.* "Sea Dreams" is one of my longer and more ambitious early poems, along with the full version of "Jessamyn's Song." To the best of my recollection, I wrote "Sea Dreams" around age 18, circa 1976-1977. For years I thought I had written "Sea Dreams" around age 19 or 20, circa 1978. But then I remembered a conversation I had with a friend about the poem in my freshman dorm, so the poem must have been started around age 18 or earlier. Dating my early poems has been a bit tricky, because I keep having little flashbacks that help me date them more accurately, but often I can only say, "I know this poem was written by about such-and-such a date, because …" The snowman sleeps under the sea by Michael R. Burch, circa age 17 Beware while bright sunlight, in ardor, caresses and kisses one arc of the earth, for others are trapped in the dungeons of night— crazed victims of an insane demon's mirth. Beware while the children are playing under a sun brightly blazing, for soon they, too, will be paying for the time they once thought free … for an ice-capped mountain is swaying and a snowman sleeps under the sea. Beware, though life's moments are fleeting, for, fleet though they may be, a moment in Hades, I have heard, can stretch into an eternity. Beware of the clouds whitely lazing under a sun brightly blazing, for soon dark Night will be freed, her black canopy raising. Now an ice-caped summit is waving and an iceman sleeps under the sea. Beware the snowman, cold as death, with winter terror on his breath; if he should touch you, flee, my friend, or into hell’s cold depths descend. I believe “The snowman sleeps under the sea” was inspired by the title of the Eugene O’Neill play “The Iceman Cometh” and the biblical idea of hell as bleak, cold “outer darkness.” there is peace where i am going by michael r. burch, circa age 15 lines written after watching a TV documentary about Woodstock there is peace where i am going, for i hasten to a land that has never known the motion of one windborne grain of sand; that has never felt a tidal wave nor seen a thunderstorm; a land whose endless seasons in their sameness are one. there i will lay my burdens down and feel their weight no more, untouched beneath the unstirred sands of a neverchanging shore, where Time lies motionless in pools of lost experience and those who sleep, sleep unaware of the future, past and present (and where Love itself lies dormant, unmoved by a silver crescent). and when i lie asleep there, with Death's footprints at my feet, not a thing shall touch me, save bland sand, lain like a sheet to wrap me for my rest there and to bind me, lest i dream, mere clay again, of strange domains where cruel birth drew such harrowing screams. yes, there is peace where i am going, for i am bound to be embalmed within the chill embrace of this dim, unchanging sea … before too long; i sense it now, and wait, expectantly, to feel the listless touch of Immortality. This poem was written circa 1973, around age 15, after I watched a TV documentary about Woodstock. I think I probably owe the last two lines to Emily Dickinson. I believe "those who sleep the sleep of Death" was written around the same time and under the same influence. those who sleep the sleep of Death by Michael R. Burch, circa age 15 those who sleep the sleep of Death sleep to wake no more … they lie upon a brackish shore where Time's tides lash the rugged rocks with waves that whip like ragged locks of long, unkempt white hair against the storm-filled air, but nothing can disturb them there. those who dream the dream of Death fail to see how Time pulses through the slime of earth’s dark fulsome loam, rank, rotting flesh and filthy foam … for, standing far off from the shore, She readies to attack once more those She had but killed before. those whom Death awakens awaken to a sleep that is far more deep than any they had known before; for there upon that ravaged shore, they do not see how Time now drives to destroy the fragile lives of those who still survive. The Song of the Wanderers by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Through many miles of space we have flown; no life but ours have we known. No other race have we seen in the stars, nor under any sun that has shone. None in the shadows, none in the sun, none in the rainbows that brighten dark skies, none in the valleys, none in the hills, none in the rapids that ripple and rise. Our quest is near ending; the stars have been searched; we alone wander this vast universe. For every green planet, every blue sky we have encountered is barren of life. We are alone, unless below a creature exists somewhere in the snow. The planet beneath us lies shackled by night. The stars deck its mountains in garments of light. Close to us, its moon hovers ghostly in flight. Somewhere below us, perhaps there is life. Come, let us seek life, before we return to that fair planet for which our hearts yearn. Here snow descends as the wind whistles down from dark frozen northlands where glaciers abound. See, on the far shoreline, pale mists compound. Notice, companions, how the sun, like a fiery stallion, rears upon the eastern rim of a mountain range haggard, weathered and grim. A pity, perhaps, that at last it grows dim. But there's no life here, and so we must leave this desolate planet alone to its grief. No, wait just a moment! What can this be … concealed by dense fog here, surrounded by sea, some type of vessel, storm-tossed, to and fro? Yes, I believe, I'm sure that it's so! Here near this shoreline, half-buried in snow, lies a wrecked vessel dripping salt water and seaweed tresses. Make haste; let us hurry, the sea in its fury is dashing it upon the rocks! It may well be that at last we will see some relic of another race's past. What's this? It's no vessel, no ship of the seas. It's fashioned of stone and could not use the breeze. It has no engine, no portals, no helm, and yet it resembles … some demon from hell. It must be a statue, with horns on its head, long, flowing hair and a torch in its hand. Broken and shattered, cast off by the sea, tonight it erodes in this frozen dark sand. No, come, let us leave, it was fashioned by wind, molded by water and wasted therein. Come, let us leave it, to hasten back home; too long have we wandered, thus, lost and alone. The Liberty calls us; we cannot delay. Let us return now, and be underway. Through many miles of space we have flown. No other life have we known. And now that we know that we are alone, we search for our ancient home. Somewhere ahead she awaits our return, decked in bright garments of green; for eons of time we have not seen her face, and yet she has haunted our dreams. Somewhere ahead lies the planet we left when we set out the depths of deep space to explore, and now how we long to dash through her streams and sleep on her bright, sandy shores. The last cold, dark planet lies dying behind us; no others are left to be searched. The Liberty soon her last descent shall make when we relocate Mother Earth! The spinster waltz by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 The spinster waltz is playing in sad strains from other rooms, but here, where love beams, reigning, wedding bells greet brides and grooms. O, the bachelors are a-waltzing, but the married do not mind, for they whirl with one another to a far more hectic time. And as they feel the music seek to slow their breakneck thoughts, they murmur of the things they've gained, regretting what they've lost. The offering by Michael R. Burch, age 21 Tonight, if you will taste the tempting wine and come to sit beside me, I will say the words that you have thought that you might hear, the words that I have feared that I might say. And if you sit beside me with the goblet in your hand and offer me a sip to give me strength, then I will match your offer with an offer of my own, and, offering, so offer back that strength. And if I say, "I love you," don't laugh as though I jest, for a jester I am not, as you can see. And if I offer anything, I'll offer you myself — the man I am and not the man you see. For though you see successes and a man of many dreams, I see a pauper throwing dreams away; yes, once I dreamt of many things, but then I saw your face, and since I dream no more, and dreams can fade away. So if I offer you this ring of burnished gold that burns and sings, please take it for the thought and not the gold. And if I offer you my life, please understand, my love, don't sigh and tell me that you do not care for gold. I'm offering my love, my life, my joys, my cares, my fears, my nights, the dreams that I have dreamt and dream no more, I'm offering my soul, not gold … I'm offering my thoughts, my hopes … I'm offering myself and nothing more. And if this offer seems enough; if you can be content with love and cherish one who loves you as I do, then promise that I'll be your dreams, your hopes, your joys, your cares, all things that you could ever want or want to do. But if you cannot promise so, then let us say goodbye and go; I cannot love you less than I do now, but I would rather bear this pain and never, ever love again than burn in hope and fear as I do now. There Must Be Love by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 O, take me to earth’s tallest mountain and hurl me out into the dark; though I may fall ten thousand miles, still I’ll not say this life is all. I’ll shout, *There’s more! There must be more! There must be Love. * Then take me to faith’s highest fancy and show me all there is to see; though all the world bow prone before me, still I’ll not say this world is all. I’ll pray, *There’s more. There must be more. There must be Love.* Then lay me down beside dark waters where dying trees shed lifeless leaves, and though I shiver with the knowledge of my death, I shall not grieve. And when you say, There must be more … then I shall say, There is … believe! I’ll take your hand, and we’ll believe. This is how I love you Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Just to hold you as you sleep with your head against my shoulder, just to kiss your sweet lips and to know that you are mine, fills my heart with a sense of perfect completeness of a light and airy sweetness, like the scent of chilled white wine. For the love with which I love you is a pure and sacred thing, like the first touch of morning, when she bends to kiss her flowers; for then the dancing daisies and the gleaming marigolds reach out to receive her, each in turn, throughout dawn’s hours. And the light with which she touches them becomes their life; each stalk and stem are born of her who gives herself unselfishly. And to her spell the flowers bend, full willingly, with sometimes a hushed and fervent plea, "Touch me, O sun, touch me!" The Rose by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 “Oh Rose, thou art sick!”—William Blake Where life begins the seeds of death are likewise planted, but with faith the rose's roots combat the weeds’ to seek the nourishment it needs. Yet in its heart an insect breeds. Where dreams take form the flower grows, as do the weeds, and still the rose is gay and lovely, though her thorns are sharp! The casual touch she scorns … yet insects eat her leaves in swarms. When passion fails the rose grown old, no longer are her petals bold— in flaming glory bright-arrayed. In weeds of death at last is laid the rose by insects first betrayed. ***Say You Love Me ***by Michael R. Burch, circa age 22-25 Joy and anguish surge within my soul; contesting there, they cannot be controlled; now grinding yearnings grip me like a vise. *Stars are burning; it's almost morning.* Dreams of dreams of dreams that I have dreamed parade before me, forming formless scenes; and now, at last, the feeling grows *as stars, declining, bow to morning.* For you are music in my undreamt dreams, rising from some far-off lyric spring; oh, somewhere in the night I hear you sing. *Stars on fire form a choir.* Now dawn's fierce brightness burns within your eyes; you laugh at me as dancing starlets die. You touch me so and still I don't know why . . . *But say you love me. Say you love me.* Sheila by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16 When they spoke your name, "Sheila," I imagined a flowing mane of reddish-orange hair tinged with fire and blazing eyes of emerald green spangled with desire. When I saw you first, Sheila, I felt an overwhelming thirst for the taste of your lips dry my lips and parch my tongue … and, much worse, I stuttered and stammered and lisped in your presence. But when I kissed you long, Sheila, I felt the morning come with temperamental sun to drive away the night with reddish-orange light and distant-sounding drums. Now I will love you long, as long as longing is, Sheila. This poem appeared in my high school journal the Lantern, so it was written no later than 1976. But it feels like one of my earlier poems, so I will guess that it was written around age 16 during my early Romantic phase. I'm not sure why the name Sheila made me think of reddish-orange hair. The poem is virtually the same today as when I wrote it in my teens. I did add L12 "dry my lips and parch my tongue" and changed the penultimate line from "as long as long is" to "as long as longing is." But it remains essentially the same poem I wrote around age 16. The breathing low and the stars alight by Michael R. Burch, age 19 Silently I'll steal away into dank jungles pocked with night. I'll give no thought to the coming day; the breathing low and the stars alight alone shall mark my passage through in search of plateaus of delight. Through valleys filled with shrieks of fright I may pass; through vales of woe I may move with footsteps light. Who knows what trials I’ll undergo at the hands of demon Night before that fiend I overthrow? And yet at last the ebb and flow of time and tide will draw me tight within Death’s grasp; then I shall know the freedom of life's last respite, safe from dread nightmares and despite the breathing low and the black disquiet. Parting by Michael R. Burch, circa age 16-17 I was his friend, and he was mine; I knew him just a while. We laughed and talked and sang a song; he went on with a smile. He roams this land in search of life, intent on being "free." I stay at home and write my poems and work on my degree. I hope to be a writer soon, and dream of wild acclaim. He doesn't know what he will do; he only knows he loves the wind and rain. I didn't say goodbye to him; I know he'll understand. I'll never write a word to him; I don't know that I can. I knew he couldn't stay, and so … I didn't even ask. We both knew that he had to go; I tried to ease his task. We both know life's a winding road, with potholes every mile, and if we hit a detour, well, it only brings vague sadness to our smiles. One day he's bound to stop somewhere; perhaps he'll take a wife, but for now he has to travel on, to seek a more "natural" life. He knows such a life's elusive, but still he has to try, just as I must write my poems although none please my eye. For poetry, like life itself, is something most men rue; still, we meet disappointments with a smile, and smile until the time that they are through. He left me as I left a friend so many years ago; I promised I would call him, but I never did; you know, it's not that I didn't love him; it's just that gone is gone. It makes no sense to prolong the end; you cannot stop the sun. And I hope to find a lover soon, and I hope she'll love me too; but perhaps I'll find disappointment; I know that it's a rare girl who is true. I've been to many foreign lands, but now my feet are fast, still, I hope to travel once again when my college days are past. Our paths are very different, but we both do what we can, and though we don't know what it means, we try to "act like men." We were friends, and nothing more; what more is there to be? We were friends for just a while … he went on to be "free." Rose by Michael R. Burch, age 18 Morning’s buds cling fervently to the tiny drops of dew that nourish them sacrificially, as nature bids them to. And how each petal cherishes the tiny silver gems that satisfy its thirst and caress its slender stem. All life comes of sacrifice, which makes it doubly sweet; for two lives sacrificed form one and thus become complete. Daisies plait the valleys that give their strength to yield such a tender host among the steamy summer fields. And how the flowers love the earth that freely gives its life, kissing and caressing it throughout the hours of night. So kiss me and caress me, love, for you are my fair Rose. And hold me through the depths of night and the heights of our repose. A bee entreats a flower: a tiny drop is given. A slender stalk caresses and gains a speck of pollen. All beings are dependent on others being too. And love cannot exist except when shared by two. So kiss me and caress me, love, for you are my fair Rose. And hold me through the depths of night and the heights of our repose. Spartacus by Michael R. Burch, age 20 Take the fire from her eyes to light the darkening skies exquisite shades of blue and jade. Place an orchid in her hair and tell her that you care, because you do, you surely do. Sleep beside her this last night; a clover bed, deep green and white, shall cushion you as leaves sing sad elegies to fleeting spring. Sleep beside her in the dew, both heartbeats fierce and true, and praise the gods who give such hearts, because you live. Not many do. So little time by Michael R. Burch, circa age 14 There is so little time left to summer, to run through the fields or to swim in the ponds … to be young. There is so little time left till autumn shall come. There is so little time left for me to be free … so little time, just so, so little time. If I were handsome and brawny and brave, a love I would make and the time I would save. If I were happy — not hamstrung, but free — surely there would be one for me … Perhaps there'd be one. There is so little left of the sunshine although there's much left of the rain … there is so little left in my life not of strife and of pain. I seem to remember writing this poem around age 14, in 1972. It was published in my high school journal, the Lantern, in 1976. The inversion in L8 makes me think this was a very early poem. That's something I weaned myself of pretty quickly. Also, I was extremely depressed from age 14 to 15 because my family moved twice and I had trouble making friends because I was so shy and introverted. Valley of Stars by Michael R. Burch, circa age 19 On a haunted moor, awash in starlight, when all the world lay hushed and still, while a ghostly orb, traversing the heavens, bathed every ridge of every hill in a shower of silver, I happened to spy a shadow creeping against the sky. And suddenly the shadow beckoned with a fair white hand, then called my name! Out of the haunting mists of midnight, through webs of ethereal light she came— the maiden I had wildly wanted, that had long my heart enchanted. It seemed to me that the stars shone brighter as she slipped into my arms, for they burned within the halo of her flaxen hair and warmed the air about us, so that I melted into the haven of her arms' shelter. Her fragrance of lilacs enraptured me; her sparkling eyes beguiled me. And when my lips found hers that night, nothing could have defiled me, or have dragged me down … we began to rise through the mists and vapors of a spinning sky. We rose for hours, or so it seemed, through galaxies of pearl and blue. She kissed my lips and made me feel that all I've heard of love is true. And now, although we're lost, I never wonder where we are, for my love and I wander paths of the sky, lost in a valley of stars. We Dance and Dream by Michael R. Burch, age 25 All the nights we danced it seemed the stars above were dancing too, and all the dreams we dared to dream it seemed were old dreams dreamed anew. But now no hallowed lovers’ lies pass our lips or glaze our eyes; and now no even wilder dreams cause our lips, with anguished screams, to pierce the peacefulness of night. We dance and dream, bereft of light, content to merely glide… We kept the dream alive by Michael R. Burch, age 18 Youthful reflections on the Vietnam War and the “Domino Theory” So that our nation should not “fall,” we sacrificed our lives; we choked back fears and blinked back tears. Our skin broke out in hives. We kept the dream alive. We counted freedom and honor worth saving; a flag waving against the sky filled us with pride, then led us to die. But was it a lie? What of the torch? What of its flame? We kept it lit through wind and rain. It brought us woe and bitter pain. And yet we bore it though it seemed the vaguest semblance of a dream. And all around the jungle screamed, “This is no place for you to die; the flag you fight for is a lie; the torch you bear burns bitter flame; the dream you cherish has no name but darkest shame …” We lost our lives, but to what gain? Will you walk with me by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18 Will you walk with me a mile down this lane? for there is something I must say to you. And, as my feelings cry to be explained, this silence is a lie, bereft of truth. As does the bird that sings, I so must tell the feelings that my heart cannot keep in, for it must be a sin to speechless dwell when love entreats the trembling tongue to sing. And thus I cannot watch you silently, although I cringe to think that I must speak— my lisping lips then tremble shamelessly, my heart grows numb even as my knees go weak— but now the time has come to not delay, so listen closely to the words I say … If I could only hold you through the night, then wake to find you near me, each new day, my life would be so full of sheer delight that I would never notice should you stray. If I could only kiss your wanton lips and do so without fear of God's revenge, then I would even kneel to kiss your whip, and I would gladly bend to your demands. For I not only love your loving moods, fierce kisses and caresses and wild eyes, but darling, I still love you when you brood. I love you though you rail at me and lie. For love is not a passion that should fade; it burns!—the heat of sunlight on a cage. This was one of my first sonnets, or "sonnet attempts," written around age 18 as a college freshman in 1976. Where have all the flowers gone? by Michael R. Burch, circa age 18-19 Where have all the flowers gone that once shone in your hair when the sunlight touched them there? Now summer's fields are dark and bare. And what of all your lovely curls that caught the sunlight till a halo ringed their masses, golden-yellow? Into ash-grey their fire has mellowed… Where have all the starlings gone whose voices blended with your own in such a wild, emphatic song? From winter's grasp those birds have flown. And what of your own voice, my dear? Those splendid notes I hear no more which once from your sweet throat did pour. For now your throat is parched and sore. Oh, where have all the feelings gone? We once could name them all— emotions great and longings small . . . But now we heed them not at all. And what of our desire, my love, which we once wildly bore and felt at each soul's core? That passion now is calm, demure. For time has take all of this and the little left leaves much to miss. Were Love to Die by Michael R. Burch, circa age 24 Were love to die without pained sighs, without heartaches and brimming eyes, then tell me—what would love be worth if, dying, as in being birthed, it were no more than other words? Were love to die without a lie, without attempts to keep it nigh, then tell me—what would love have been if, fleeing as in entering, it was not holy, nor a sin? Were love to cause no grief, or pain, and come, then go, what would remain? And tell me—what would love have left if, being lost, as being kept, it did not bless and curse our fate? Won't you by Michael R. Burch, circa age 21 Won't you lie in my arms in the clutches of wine as dark petals, unfolding, whisper back to the vine? Won't you dream of that day, as I bring you again to an anguish, a heartache that throbs without end? Won't you dream of a day when the ocean grew wild, raging before us—green cauldron of bile!— while the passions we shared were stirred by a wind that later that evening sang softly of sin? Won't you rise in your yearning and touch me again? Won't you kiss me and curse me just as you did then? Won't you hate me and hold me and scold me and say that you'll never leave me, that this time you'll stay? O, tonight be my lifeline, re-cresting love’s waves … won't you rage in my arms as you did in those days? Won't you be half as gentle as you are rough, then spare me, care for me, saying, "This is enough!" Won't you lie in my arms with a lie on your lips and say to me, "Darling, there's nothing like this!" Won't you tell me, please tell me, O, what is the harm, as I lie here tonight with your child in my arms? The lamp of freedom by Michael R. Burch, age 16 When the lamp lies shattered, its bowl can be remade, but should its light be scattered, light cannot be regained. Hold high the lamp of freedom; let a man be no man's slave. Staying Free by Michael R. Burch, age 19 Others dwell in darkness, raging through the night, slaves to fearsome demons, though children of the light, where, caught up in emotions they fail to understand, they flock to laud the Mocker who kneads them in his hand. And all the revelations bright choirs of angels sing, they never seem to notice as their shackles clang and ring. They know naught of freedom, nor wish to—for, born slaves into dull lives of servitude, their chains they dearly crave. But let them live their captive lives; whatever they may be, for I am bound to be a man as long as I stay free. What Is Love If It’s Not Forever? by Michael R. Burch, age 17 My love, are you trying to tell me that you no longer love me? After all these years of sacrifice and hope and joy and compromise, are you saying that we are through? You always called me a romanticist, a fantasist, a dreamer, while labeling yourself a realist, a fatalist, a schemer … but I thought that, perhaps, a spark of romance existed also in you. And yet it seems that now, incredibly, you wish to leave me, and all that was said and done, unselfishly, in the name of love, must be written off as a total waste. You often hinted at a dark side to your inner nature, while despairing of my “innocent, unassuming character,” but I had always hoped that you would never act in such haste. For what is love if it’s not forever? Can such an ethereal thing exist beatifically for a moment and then be gone … like spring? Yes, what is love if it’s not forever? Is it caresses and laughter and words sweet and clever, intrigue and romance, sorrow and pain, whirligig dances, sunshine and rain, such as we had? Or is it more— a volcanic struggle deep at heart’s core; a wave of sweet sadness sweeping the shore of one’s emotions; a rampaging ocean of fantastical supposition; a ****** gut-wrenching war fought within oneself —such as I often felt, but which you admit now that you never have? [etc., see handwritten version] To prove you independence by leaving me is a quaint paradox, but unresolvable. So return to me, tell him goodbye, and let us tend to mysteries more solvable. For what is love if it’s not forever? Perhaps we already know, for we cannot live without one another: like the sunshine and summer, one cannot leave unless both will go. When love is just a memory by Michael R. Burch, age 25 When love is just a memory of August nights’ enflaming wine; when youth is just a dream, a scene from some forgotten time; when passion is a word for thought and nights are spent with friends; when we are old, and cannot “love,” how will you love me then? Are you so young and so naive that "love" means this to you— a fiery act, a frantic pact, a whispered word or two? O, darling, neither acts nor pacts could ever bind our hearts; only love might bond them, but then neither would be yours. And though we burn as one today, what ember does not die? Fire cleanses, but I fear only tears can sanctify. Yes, you may burn, and burn for me, but can you shed a tear to think that you and I might cool somewhere within the coming years? For love and hate are ill-defined, and where they meet, we cannot tell, but lust and love are unrelated, however closely they may dwell. And though I long for you tonight, such hellish passion I prefer to the hell of loving you with heat untempered by the years.
These are early poem I wrote, many of them as a teenager in high school.
Written by
62/M/Nashville, Tennessee
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 5:27 AM UTC
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