My head is spinning
I cannot stay upright
I can't keep my eyes open
Or stand up tall.
But the night has just begun,
My anguish is not over yet.
As i watch you bleed the wine
That makes you this way.
We are both broken people.
Drowning in the drink,
You fail to realize I am your daughter.
When I cry
It's not because I hate you
Or want to see you cry too,
I cry for the murdered little girl
That you kidnapped long ago.
The innocence stolen
In exchange for a drink
And friend.
The girl standing before you is now your pal,
Never your barin.
The memories I have lost
Because they never happened
I count them in my head
Like sheep before I close my eyes
To remind myself
When I awake
I still have no mother.
I have no father.
No one to hold my hand
When my best friend died
When I contemplated suicide
When I was being bullied
When I was in pain
When I was afraid
And when I had self doubts.
Where were you?
I called for you all in the mist
But you never answered.
And now that I am grown
I can't help but feel stunted.
As I try to hold on to the patchy little pieces
Of my fragmented childhood.
And now as you lay defeated
With your hand stretched out to mine
I wish to turn away
And ignore your plea
Just like you ignored mine.
But I am too kind.
I pick you up once more
Hoping
Maybe
This time
Might
Be different.
But it never is.
It's always the same.
When the time comes for me
I am left disappointed
And abandoned.
I'll call for you whence more
Yet I know you will not answer
Until you need me again
To use up
For yourself.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 11:45 PM UTC
My head is spinning
I cannot stay upright
I can't keep my eyes open
Or stand up tall.
But the night has just begun,
My anguish is not over yet.
As i watch you bleed the wine
That makes you this way.
We are both broken people.
Drowning in the drink,
You fail to realize I am your daughter.
When I cry
It's not because I hate you
Or want to see you cry too,
I cry for the murdered little girl
That you kidnapped long ago.
The innocence stolen
In exchange for a drink
And friend.
The girl standing before you is now your pal,
Never your barin.
The memories I have lost
Because they never happened
I count them in my head
Like sheep before I close my eyes
To remind myself
When I awake
I still have no mother.
I have no father.
No one to hold my hand
When my best friend died
When I contemplated suicide
When I was being bullied
When I was in pain
When I was afraid
And when I had self doubts.
Where were you?
I called for you all in the mist
But you never answered.
And now that I am grown
I can't help but feel stunted.
As I try to hold on to the patchy little pieces
Of my fragmented childhood.
And now as you lay defeated
With your hand stretched out to mine
I wish to turn away
And ignore your plea
Just like you ignored mine.
But I am too kind.
I pick you up once more
Hoping
Maybe
This time
Might
Be different.
But it never is.
It's always the same.
When the time comes for me
I am left disappointed
And abandoned.
I'll call for you whence more
Yet I know you will not answer
Until you need me again
To use up
For yourself.
