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I am Phil I am Phil Phil I am. That Phil I am That Phil I am I do not like that Phil I am. Would you like to drink some Scotch? No Phil I am.  No I would not. I would not like to drink some Scotch. Would you drink Scotch on the Rocks? I would not drink Scotch on the Rocks I think it tastes like ***** socks So get down off that Dewars box I will not drink a Scotch with you No that is something I won’t do I might drink ***** might drink gin But drinking Scotch would be a sin. Would you drink some Chivas Regal? I think Scotch should be illegal! What is it that you do not get? I just don't like the taste of it! Scotch just doesn’t suit me well I do not even like the smell. Give me wine or give me beer But don’t talk to me when Scotch is near. Would you like a single malt? I don’t like Scotch.  It’s not your fault. Would you try some Lagavulin? I won’t drink Scotch; I’m not foolin’ I won’t drink Scotch all by myself With you or anybody else I hate the smell I hate the taste To serve ME Scotch Would be a WASTE! Well!!  You don’t have to cause a scene Just try a sip, see what I mean It’s really not that bad, at all Don’t drink the bar stuff, drink the call All the ‘Glens’ are really nice Drink them neat, add 1 cube ice One ice cube brings out the taste Two or more would be a waste. Try just a sip, and you will see Then you might drink a Scotch with me. Oh Phil I am Oh Phil I am You wore me down. Was that the plan? I guess I’ll let my scruples slip And try a Scotch – a tiny sip. Sip.    Sip.      SSSSippppss. Oh (licks his lipsss) This is good.  This is really good, I think that I can taste the peat. It’s not too smoky, not too sweet It’s not at all what I expected Now I’ve got my thoughts collected My admiration resurrected I think I like Scotch, Yes it’s true. I think I'll drink a Scotch with you. In fact, Phil, I just might have two! Do you have some Johnnie Walker Blue? PwL   April 8, 2015
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Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 10:46 AM UTC
Dr. ***** Scotch on the Rocks (definitely a Parody!)
I am Phil I am Phil Phil I am. That Phil I am That Phil I am I do not like that Phil I am. Would you like to drink some Scotch? No Phil I am.  No I would not. I would not like to drink some Scotch. Would you drink Scotch on the Rocks? I would not drink Scotch on the Rocks I think it tastes like ***** socks So get down off that Dewars box I will not drink a Scotch with you No that is something I won’t do I might drink ***** might drink gin But drinking Scotch would be a sin. Would you drink some Chivas Regal? I think Scotch should be illegal! What is it that you do not get? I just don't like the taste of it! Scotch just doesn’t suit me well I do not even like the smell. Give me wine or give me beer But don’t talk to me when Scotch is near. Would you like a single malt? I don’t like Scotch.  It’s not your fault. Would you try some Lagavulin? I won’t drink Scotch; I’m not foolin’ I won’t drink Scotch all by myself With you or anybody else I hate the smell I hate the taste To serve ME Scotch Would be a WASTE! Well!!  You don’t have to cause a scene Just try a sip, see what I mean It’s really not that bad, at all Don’t drink the bar stuff, drink the call All the ‘Glens’ are really nice Drink them neat, add 1 cube ice One ice cube brings out the taste Two or more would be a waste. Try just a sip, and you will see Then you might drink a Scotch with me. Oh Phil I am Oh Phil I am You wore me down. Was that the plan? I guess I’ll let my scruples slip And try a Scotch – a tiny sip. Sip.    Sip.      SSSSippppss. Oh (licks his lipsss) This is good.  This is really good, I think that I can taste the peat. It’s not too smoky, not too sweet It’s not at all what I expected Now I’ve got my thoughts collected My admiration resurrected I think I like Scotch, Yes it’s true. I think I'll drink a Scotch with you. In fact, Phil, I just might have two! Do you have some Johnnie Walker Blue? PwL   April 8, 2015
I grew up reading Dr. Seuss, and, like most kids, loved the playfulness of his words.  Dedicated to Theodore Seuss Geisel.  I hope that he liked Scotch!
#funny#dr#scotch#seuss
phil-lindsey
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phil-lindsey
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 10:46 AM UTC
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