And for some reason
At the depth of it all
I have fallen back into
the deepest groove of my own suffering.
I do not know how or why
this pain has come back.
Or why it refuses to leave.
Deep down
at the bottom of everything
I am surrounded --
By perfect monstrous silence
Echoing gently the constant reminder
Of my own isolation.
I haven't felt this alone in years.
At least not consciously so.
Face to face with failure:
The deepest kind of suffering.
The very essence of sadness.
The darkest part of darkness.
Nothing but this:
Alone again as always
Irrational misbehavior
Living always in a tortured instance.
The world isn't so bad
But the experience itself
Is a whole different thing.
I'd rather die right now
than walk inside and put on a happy face.
Splice myself open and drain away.
The inexplicable suffering of my life
Has taken hold of me
Mysterious, unsubtle.
Always and forever.
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 4:18 PM UTC
And for some reason
At the depth of it all
I have fallen back into
the deepest groove of my own suffering.
I do not know how or why
this pain has come back.
Or why it refuses to leave.
Deep down
at the bottom of everything
I am surrounded --
By perfect monstrous silence
Echoing gently the constant reminder
Of my own isolation.
I haven't felt this alone in years.
At least not consciously so.
Face to face with failure:
The deepest kind of suffering.
The very essence of sadness.
The darkest part of darkness.
Nothing but this:
Alone again as always
Irrational misbehavior
Living always in a tortured instance.
The world isn't so bad
But the experience itself
Is a whole different thing.
I'd rather die right now
than walk inside and put on a happy face.
Splice myself open and drain away.
The inexplicable suffering of my life
Has taken hold of me
Mysterious, unsubtle.
Always and forever.
I lost the will to live again.
I wonder why this always happens.