He knows what he's doing
a cruel manipulative mind
An almost 'split personality'
greatly disturbed I find
I thought I was free
as one situation disappears
but now another has arrived
tapping into all of my fears
It has all the same ingredients
but now served by a different spoon
my strength and sanity tainted
a different person singing the same tune
Playing evil mind games
telling ***** lies
witholding information.
He's like a devil in disguise!
This to me is so much worse
than someone yelling in my face
It's without a resolution
so I sit here alone, and wait
I fear vulnerability
it's been a dangerous place for me
his actions take me back there
then through the fog I cannot see
The control is no longer mine
I've never even been close
I can be toyed with anytime
by a wolf in sheeps clothes
So how can I protect myself
when I'm once again a vulnerable girl
disabling rational thinking
causing my mind and head to swirl
Others around me don't sense the threat
He doesn't look a menacing case
but he's repeating abusive behaviour
deceit is written all over his face
It's a lonely, frightening situation
I can't yet see a way out
I need protection from a loved one
who can be the one to stand up and shout
How can I explain
that this idiot really frightens me?
I'm feeling so insecure
I just want to be held you see
I want you to tell me he can't hurt me
you wouldn't let him so
just hold me a little closer
as I'm not sure that I can cope.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 1:46 PM UTC
He knows what he's doing
a cruel manipulative mind
An almost 'split personality'
greatly disturbed I find
I thought I was free
as one situation disappears
but now another has arrived
tapping into all of my fears
It has all the same ingredients
but now served by a different spoon
my strength and sanity tainted
a different person singing the same tune
Playing evil mind games
telling ***** lies
witholding information.
He's like a devil in disguise!
This to me is so much worse
than someone yelling in my face
It's without a resolution
so I sit here alone, and wait
I fear vulnerability
it's been a dangerous place for me
his actions take me back there
then through the fog I cannot see
The control is no longer mine
I've never even been close
I can be toyed with anytime
by a wolf in sheeps clothes
So how can I protect myself
when I'm once again a vulnerable girl
disabling rational thinking
causing my mind and head to swirl
Others around me don't sense the threat
He doesn't look a menacing case
but he's repeating abusive behaviour
deceit is written all over his face
It's a lonely, frightening situation
I can't yet see a way out
I need protection from a loved one
who can be the one to stand up and shout
How can I explain
that this idiot really frightens me?
I'm feeling so insecure
I just want to be held you see
I want you to tell me he can't hurt me
you wouldn't let him so
just hold me a little closer
as I'm not sure that I can cope.
About 2 weeks ago this horrible person in my life (a family member) was messing with my head and I allowed it too! I wrote this during that situation and genuinely felt so vulnerable but I have worked through a shed load of stuff in my head and feel, not in control, but in a place where I feel I'll be able to deal with the next situation much better. There will be more, he's not going anywhere.
I kept the original title the same as it's exactly how I felt.
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