Weeks have gone by since we last spoke.
You're currently on the other side of the world right now, and I want so badly for you to just stay there.
My hometown is much better when you aren't here.
I can go to the store, to our favorite restaurant, past your work, and I don't even worry about you seeing me.
I find myself looking for your car in parking lots and on the freeway.
The "junk" sticker your friend strategically placed on your bumper, still burns in my head.
I look for the yellow 'w' on your mothers Honda.
I find myself doing this all the time.
While I'm at coffee with a friend.
Stuck behind green lights.
Daydreaming at work.
It's so strange.
I'm so scared to see you again.
I have this love love hate whatever feeling stuck in the pits of my stomach.
It's not as though I'm confused.
I knew what you were doing.
I guess I just have this urge to spite you, but not quite.
I made out with two boys in one day, so I just figured you should know that.
I want so badly for you to see me and for you to want me more than you ever have in your life.
I want to turn you down, until you are crumpled paper that I can set fire to.
It's crazy how sadness turns into anger in a matter of time.
Every single time I hear that song, part of me wants to cry,
But as a whole, i have no tears left in my being.
I wish you saw me when I was depressed.
I guess I wish you would have understood what you put me through.
I guess I wish you could read this.
Being without you feels good, but lonely at the same time.
I don't know..
I should have dumped you a long time ago
You still come up in daily conversations...
"Oh me and so and so used to do that..."
I think at some point that will go away..
I'm doing better now.
I hope it lasts.
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 1:25 AM UTC
Weeks have gone by since we last spoke.
You're currently on the other side of the world right now, and I want so badly for you to just stay there.
My hometown is much better when you aren't here.
I can go to the store, to our favorite restaurant, past your work, and I don't even worry about you seeing me.
I find myself looking for your car in parking lots and on the freeway.
The "junk" sticker your friend strategically placed on your bumper, still burns in my head.
I look for the yellow 'w' on your mothers Honda.
I find myself doing this all the time.
While I'm at coffee with a friend.
Stuck behind green lights.
Daydreaming at work.
It's so strange.
I'm so scared to see you again.
I have this love love hate whatever feeling stuck in the pits of my stomach.
It's not as though I'm confused.
I knew what you were doing.
I guess I just have this urge to spite you, but not quite.
I made out with two boys in one day, so I just figured you should know that.
I want so badly for you to see me and for you to want me more than you ever have in your life.
I want to turn you down, until you are crumpled paper that I can set fire to.
It's crazy how sadness turns into anger in a matter of time.
Every single time I hear that song, part of me wants to cry,
But as a whole, i have no tears left in my being.
I wish you saw me when I was depressed.
I guess I wish you would have understood what you put me through.
I guess I wish you could read this.
Being without you feels good, but lonely at the same time.
I don't know..
I should have dumped you a long time ago
You still come up in daily conversations...
"Oh me and so and so used to do that..."
I think at some point that will go away..
I'm doing better now.
I hope it lasts.
