i try to have
some good memories
to go back to
to remind myself
i have felt happiness
in times of dissociation
the first memory
is me with my brother
in the ocean
him teaching me to surf
pushing me into waves
i remember the sun on my back
as i laid on my pink and blue hearts surfboard
and how good in that moment
it felt to be alive
i told myself in that moment
to remember this
and i have held it for years and years
my next memory i go to
is you
i opened my apartment door
for the first time
it was a cold night in March
here in London
the moon shining above us
and you were wearing
your long black north face jacket
you just smiled at me with a huge smile
and said a simple
"hi!"
you were so happy
it made me feel so happy seeing you smile
it felt so comfortable and sweet
that simple happy hi took me
right out of dissociation
you have been my best friend since
these two memories keep me alive
in the month of March
they remind me i can feel happiness
they remind me that i am alive
even after the darkest of times
i am alive
i am alive and i can feel happiness
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 7:59 PM UTC
i try to have
some good memories
to go back to
to remind myself
i have felt happiness
in times of dissociation
the first memory
is me with my brother
in the ocean
him teaching me to surf
pushing me into waves
i remember the sun on my back
as i laid on my pink and blue hearts surfboard
and how good in that moment
it felt to be alive
i told myself in that moment
to remember this
and i have held it for years and years
my next memory i go to
is you
i opened my apartment door
for the first time
it was a cold night in March
here in London
the moon shining above us
and you were wearing
your long black north face jacket
you just smiled at me with a huge smile
and said a simple
"hi!"
you were so happy
it made me feel so happy seeing you smile
it felt so comfortable and sweet
that simple happy hi took me
right out of dissociation
you have been my best friend since
these two memories keep me alive
in the month of March
they remind me i can feel happiness
they remind me that i am alive
even after the darkest of times
i am alive
i am alive and i can feel happiness
Request permission to use this poem