so, friends, where do we begin?
all the walls were closing in
my air supply was waning
and all the lights were fading
spun out so fast, I lost control
and in delirium, lost all hope
in my despair
I was gasping for air
looked into his eyes and saw nothing there
I’m so confused
been thrown for a loop
was doing all the wrong things and didn’t have a clue
I felt alone when you left me hurting
didn’t think anyone cared about my weakness
wouldn’t try to fix it
wouldn’t try to listen
but it was all my fault, and now I’m buried alive
under the weight of my regret and strife
keep praying to the heavens to give us some guidance
digging and digging, in search of some light
forcing out the thoughts of how I wanted to hurt myself
but for a long time, I realized, I’ve already been dead!
going through the motions, walking around like a zombie
but if anyone will listen, I swear that isn’t me
I lost my mind, no excuse, but it’s the truth, you see
I’m sorry to all the loved ones I have hurt, especially you
just got consumed with all the bad things I was going through
I never meant to be selfish, never meant to be a coward
just lost my way without knowing I had the power
to hurt you, I thought you didn’t care that much
wanted to feel your love, but couldn’t with all the fighting & such
I blamed you for it, I was wrong and bitter and broken
and blinded, didn’t realize what the toll is
I’ve pushed many away, think I lost the person I love most in the world
all by my own stupidity, but I’m gonna fight, no matter what life hurls
the curve ***** I’ve got em
I won’t cry anymore
I’m gonna piece myself back together and try to reset the score
I won’t give up on you, or on me
I’m gonna pray real hard and beat this illness, you will see
and even though you don’t have a reason to, trust me
because from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry
so while I’m giving you space, I’m gonna figure things out and get my life straight
no more drama no more fighting
just my love for you, the way it should be
so to my family and my friends and even you,
I’m gonna find hope, and I’m gonna find that light
gonna swallow my pride and have some insight
I’m gonna get better, gonna be alive again
and you will no longer have to miss your friend
Mar 21, 2012
Mar 21, 2012 at 12:57 PM UTC
so, friends, where do we begin?
all the walls were closing in
my air supply was waning
and all the lights were fading
spun out so fast, I lost control
and in delirium, lost all hope
in my despair
I was gasping for air
looked into his eyes and saw nothing there
I’m so confused
been thrown for a loop
was doing all the wrong things and didn’t have a clue
I felt alone when you left me hurting
didn’t think anyone cared about my weakness
wouldn’t try to fix it
wouldn’t try to listen
but it was all my fault, and now I’m buried alive
under the weight of my regret and strife
keep praying to the heavens to give us some guidance
digging and digging, in search of some light
forcing out the thoughts of how I wanted to hurt myself
but for a long time, I realized, I’ve already been dead!
going through the motions, walking around like a zombie
but if anyone will listen, I swear that isn’t me
I lost my mind, no excuse, but it’s the truth, you see
I’m sorry to all the loved ones I have hurt, especially you
just got consumed with all the bad things I was going through
I never meant to be selfish, never meant to be a coward
just lost my way without knowing I had the power
to hurt you, I thought you didn’t care that much
wanted to feel your love, but couldn’t with all the fighting & such
I blamed you for it, I was wrong and bitter and broken
and blinded, didn’t realize what the toll is
I’ve pushed many away, think I lost the person I love most in the world
all by my own stupidity, but I’m gonna fight, no matter what life hurls
the curve ***** I’ve got em
I won’t cry anymore
I’m gonna piece myself back together and try to reset the score
I won’t give up on you, or on me
I’m gonna pray real hard and beat this illness, you will see
and even though you don’t have a reason to, trust me
because from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry
so while I’m giving you space, I’m gonna figure things out and get my life straight
no more drama no more fighting
just my love for you, the way it should be
so to my family and my friends and even you,
I’m gonna find hope, and I’m gonna find that light
gonna swallow my pride and have some insight
I’m gonna get better, gonna be alive again
and you will no longer have to miss your friend