For peace of mind I have honestly prayed with all of my might. Just like I have tried my best these flames not to just ignite. I can't even begin to try and explain how the pain really shaped my life. Even with everything that I just had to Sacrifice. It's a story that is not meant for the faint of heart. I am seen now as someone who does not easily fall apart. From the clutches of evil that would die to hold me in their embrace I only pray that I stay on this side of my very saving grace. I survived the storm one more time, Do you think that maybe that could be a sign. A signal of something more that's soon meant to come, Maybe one I will actually feel something instead of always being so numb. The future right now isn't looking so **** grim. Due to all the faith I have put in him. My Father who art in heaven that preserved my soul, the only one that can complete me til once again I feel whole. I have broken a few promises in my day But I do try to say what I mean, and mean just what I say. I believe that every time I draw in a breath, and that I am just that much closer to losing everything I have left. All the reasons are buried in the depths of those things that are hard for me to accept. I am the very poison that pollutes my veins. I try my best to control the beast within by pulling tighter on the reins. All my life I have been looking for someone that myself, from the likes of me they could save. I will take all the secrets that I tend to harbor right straight to my grave. I keep these raw emotions that are bare I hide in the places that to go no one would dare. This hole is but a burning void, melting through to my core. Yet it took forever for me to realize that I don't have to live that way anymore. The thunder rolls and the lightning strikes with a brilliant flash. I do not have to keep on living inside my past. Rather I am sound asleep or wide awake. I know without a doubt I'm responsible for the chaos I create. Even the very best laid of all those plans seem to send you a bit astray, I asked myself daily would I be better off I just suddenly started to fade away. The times that I seem to sit here so **** quietly are the very moments where I am completely consumed by my anxiety. I sometimes wish that had wings, that were the real deal so when flying high in the sky I could find my thrill. I just want to ride the pride, right on through to the other side. In the shadows good and evil simply seem to coincide. It doesn't matter that my patience is really wearing thin and in short supply, as long as I keep on smiling as I am seen riding by. The angels weep for the horrors I have somehow seen. Trying to doctor my memory just to keep it clean. I must admit that the monsters I accidentally did conjure are the very ones that are the hardest for me to conquer. I swear if I make it out unscathed, with my integrity mostly still intact. That I will give everything my all and stop holding back. In prayer it's to my bent knees I fall, no more losing my faith in some ungodly hall. From everything I have seen this disease of addiction is quite widespread but you are seeking mercy or decency left I haven't a single shred. The music blares to soothe the beast that lives inside every one of us without any kind of regard. I apologize to myself for making everything feel like I had to work twice as hard. I hope at some point, I will be freed from this hell of my own creation just in time to claim the very thing I've been starving for.... salvation. I guess I might as well go on and bid you a fond fare-thee-well. As I tell this story I tell over and over like some demented fairy tale
4d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 8:35 PM UTC
For peace of mind I have honestly prayed with all of my might. Just like I have tried my best these flames not to just ignite. I can't even begin to try and explain how the pain really shaped my life. Even with everything that I just had to Sacrifice. It's a story that is not meant for the faint of heart. I am seen now as someone who does not easily fall apart. From the clutches of evil that would die to hold me in their embrace I only pray that I stay on this side of my very saving grace. I survived the storm one more time, Do you think that maybe that could be a sign. A signal of something more that's soon meant to come, Maybe one I will actually feel something instead of always being so numb. The future right now isn't looking so **** grim. Due to all the faith I have put in him. My Father who art in heaven that preserved my soul, the only one that can complete me til once again I feel whole. I have broken a few promises in my day But I do try to say what I mean, and mean just what I say. I believe that every time I draw in a breath, and that I am just that much closer to losing everything I have left. All the reasons are buried in the depths of those things that are hard for me to accept. I am the very poison that pollutes my veins. I try my best to control the beast within by pulling tighter on the reins. All my life I have been looking for someone that myself, from the likes of me they could save. I will take all the secrets that I tend to harbor right straight to my grave. I keep these raw emotions that are bare I hide in the places that to go no one would dare. This hole is but a burning void, melting through to my core. Yet it took forever for me to realize that I don't have to live that way anymore. The thunder rolls and the lightning strikes with a brilliant flash. I do not have to keep on living inside my past. Rather I am sound asleep or wide awake. I know without a doubt I'm responsible for the chaos I create. Even the very best laid of all those plans seem to send you a bit astray, I asked myself daily would I be better off I just suddenly started to fade away. The times that I seem to sit here so **** quietly are the very moments where I am completely consumed by my anxiety. I sometimes wish that had wings, that were the real deal so when flying high in the sky I could find my thrill. I just want to ride the pride, right on through to the other side. In the shadows good and evil simply seem to coincide. It doesn't matter that my patience is really wearing thin and in short supply, as long as I keep on smiling as I am seen riding by. The angels weep for the horrors I have somehow seen. Trying to doctor my memory just to keep it clean. I must admit that the monsters I accidentally did conjure are the very ones that are the hardest for me to conquer. I swear if I make it out unscathed, with my integrity mostly still intact. That I will give everything my all and stop holding back. In prayer it's to my bent knees I fall, no more losing my faith in some ungodly hall. From everything I have seen this disease of addiction is quite widespread but you are seeking mercy or decency left I haven't a single shred. The music blares to soothe the beast that lives inside every one of us without any kind of regard. I apologize to myself for making everything feel like I had to work twice as hard. I hope at some point, I will be freed from this hell of my own creation just in time to claim the very thing I've been starving for.... salvation. I guess I might as well go on and bid you a fond fare-thee-well. As I tell this story I tell over and over like some demented fairy tale
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