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sauntering down the hall rubbing the sleep from my eyes, it's mid morning, and I'm not really awake yet why am I not at school? something is weird I think to myself, as I hear my mom talk from the kitchen I know this isn't a regular day. I remember, the sun, shining through the blinds and her closest friend at the time I remember her talking, sobbing, but I can't hear her words. Something about an accident and him being gone, something about family, how they'll be here before too long. I still don't get what's really going on. Sitting on the swings, talking to the dog waiting for it all to end to blink, and wake up in my bed, groggy, running late like always. Then more than the family all started to arrive, people, lots of people, all with their hands full, flowers, and cards and boxes and bags, food, more food- offerings of condolences, from the guiltiest of hands like feeding the dead was a possibility? I don't remember any faces, just smeared complexions of those who took you away- nor any comments specific, I just remember feeling lost, confused, drowning in it! don't speak unless spoken to, out of sight out of mind you're just too young to understand, it's not your problem to worry about, your mother just can't talk right now just go sit down and be quiet! I'm sitting in a car now, with a friends family, and my dearest other half, driving right on by. I see the marks on the road, I see the pole hanging there, I see the carnage, and the subtlety of it all I try not to think about you, there, not even a full day ago here. I remember that phone call last night after the siren, false alarm! Your assurance that you were fine less than three hours before we'd have to say goodbye. I remember the words I'm sorry, sorry about your loss, sorry to hear he's gone, sorry sorry sorry, burned into my vocabulary, branding me, like it or not, nothing like irony to heat that iron white hot, Funny, how the sorry's never came from the right mouths and the greatest friend of all time had such the opposite for himself. All this I remember, some so vivid, it's too raw to recall. Yet I try so hard and comb through my mind, but like a sieve, some things fall through the sound of your voice, or just how you walked, I have trouble recalling the little things that would have made you you. I know that none of us will live forever but I never thought you'd be completely taken away I never thought I'd lose my memories too I thought I had those till my final day!
0
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 21, 2010 at 8:58 PM UTC
June 11th
sauntering down the hall rubbing the sleep from my eyes, it's mid morning, and I'm not really awake yet why am I not at school? something is weird I think to myself, as I hear my mom talk from the kitchen I know this isn't a regular day. I remember, the sun, shining through the blinds and her closest friend at the time I remember her talking, sobbing, but I can't hear her words. Something about an accident and him being gone, something about family, how they'll be here before too long. I still don't get what's really going on. Sitting on the swings, talking to the dog waiting for it all to end to blink, and wake up in my bed, groggy, running late like always. Then more than the family all started to arrive, people, lots of people, all with their hands full, flowers, and cards and boxes and bags, food, more food- offerings of condolences, from the guiltiest of hands like feeding the dead was a possibility? I don't remember any faces, just smeared complexions of those who took you away- nor any comments specific, I just remember feeling lost, confused, drowning in it! don't speak unless spoken to, out of sight out of mind you're just too young to understand, it's not your problem to worry about, your mother just can't talk right now just go sit down and be quiet! I'm sitting in a car now, with a friends family, and my dearest other half, driving right on by. I see the marks on the road, I see the pole hanging there, I see the carnage, and the subtlety of it all I try not to think about you, there, not even a full day ago here. I remember that phone call last night after the siren, false alarm! Your assurance that you were fine less than three hours before we'd have to say goodbye. I remember the words I'm sorry, sorry about your loss, sorry to hear he's gone, sorry sorry sorry, burned into my vocabulary, branding me, like it or not, nothing like irony to heat that iron white hot, Funny, how the sorry's never came from the right mouths and the greatest friend of all time had such the opposite for himself. All this I remember, some so vivid, it's too raw to recall. Yet I try so hard and comb through my mind, but like a sieve, some things fall through the sound of your voice, or just how you walked, I have trouble recalling the little things that would have made you you. I know that none of us will live forever but I never thought you'd be completely taken away I never thought I'd lose my memories too I thought I had those till my final day!
(c) 22/11/10
bellis-tart
Written by
bellis-tart
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 21, 2010 at 8:58 PM UTC
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