I was more honest with you
Than I've ever been with anyone else
Including myself
I guess it wasn't my honesty you were after
You must have wanted more of an actor
Of the adult film variety
I guess you never saw in me
The girl who's seen enough misery
Just the one who takes the abuse
To fulfill her use
As the pin cushion you force your lies into
The languages we speak arent the same anymore
You've buried my tell tale heart beneath the floor
And turned without a goodbye through the door
Leaving only silence, you couldn't possibly have said more
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 9:37 AM UTC
why don't you just say what you mean,
you really think I cant see through the smoke screen?
but it's me taking things the wrong way?
overreacting, living in my brain?
funny how the only time I hear a thing from you
you're asking how or if I could prove
that I havent ****** up your life
or made you sick
if I was smarter I'd just quit
giving two *****
cuz your only answer is silence
and ******* it, I thought you said you cared
so stupidly I believed you, even though I was scared
and now you've proved that you're just like the rest
just like ********* and two face, you're far from the best
you used me, and laughed as you moved on to the next,
you disrespect me, but I should take it and move on?
I thought you were one of the good ones, but boy was I wrong!
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 4:37 PM UTC
He's gotta be tall, dark and handsome
be chasing stars or have some
heart, passion and art
with moonbeams in his eyes
He can serenade just breathing
pass you the world within his greeting
contain the spark to start a blaze of tomorrows
He should be an open book
Speak the truth with just a look
The candle and the mirror reflecting it's light
No questions asked, he should be solid as stone
fill you up and make you feel at home
be the one who dedicates every song to you
He could be Mr. Right
but nothing's black and white,
he's Gray
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015 at 12:21 AM UTC
no brakes, skidding tires, smashing glass, crunched steel
sharp points piercing pinholes in a nerveless vein
locked doors, hot engine, sweet exhaust
chamber full, trigger ready, safety off
one, two, five, ten.. how many would be enough
dissolved at the bottom of a sleep inducing 40 ounce'r
take off, like weighted birds soar is stuttered
the quiet scream of a blade that cuts like butter
childhood memories are not sweet, filled with imaginary friends
they are haunted by real ghosts, tortured by lost souls
looking for an escape long before you ever knew
you would have so many reasons to run away
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 11:47 AM UTC
I'm holding out for something true
for the one who really thinks
I'm not too loud or sassy
and my thighs, they aren't too big
who doesn't see my belly
or think I'm a walking growth spurt stretch mark
or that my hair is never right
and I wear yesterdays makeup today
I know there's someone out there
who doesn't think I talk too much
and values my opinions
who also thinks I'm smart
I'm waiting for the one
I guess they call him Mr. Right
to help me up when I'm down
not down me for my plight
who wants to be with me clothed
as much as when we're not
who sees me as an equal
more than just a back scratcher to reach that itchy spot
I'm holding out for the real thing
that lasts past Saturday night
for the drum beat to my melody
for the fire to my light
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 2:48 AM UTC
I've burned the candle from both ends,
burning fingers trying to hold on
soaked right through with whiskey, and tears
shutters ripple up my spine
to the brain I no longer wish to use
I've done my time, paid my dues
kissed my fair share of frogs, for something better
but the best is always yet to come, or so they say
I've desecrated my boundaries, jumped borders, and covered empty pages
just to hear that faint scratch of the pen across the paper
which still sounds louder than your heart
You see, I am a coward
who takes solace in the certainty
that words will drip from these fingers, like the lies from your lips
you call her your wife,
but know nothing of the sanctity of marriage
you babble on, about the greatness of your union
while taking me to your bed, you speak
of connections, when you could never understand
singing your own praises, you're not like every other man, ha!
I have burned the candle at both ends
burning my fingers to hold on,
as my whiskey soaked self engulfs in flames,
I let it burn..
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 2:36 AM UTC
sunrise, a time to sleep
bag over shoulder, cart following feet
the light of day is a safety net
for this stumbling, lost man to be
in such a vulnerable position
as that when dreams flow free
nights spent packed up, for warmth shuffling around
searching for a hope or a drink,
his last in a puddle on the ground
for peace, in a hectic, screaming hallow
for the world to just open up and swallow
to feel the smoldering center of the earth,
warm his bones
to feel a part of something, for
the first time since he left home, all those years ago
he imagines the heat burning his pain
like each bubbling blister popping
is years of abuse escaping through his skin
scars forming outward and inside,
an extra layer of protection,
between now, and
the sunrise.
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 2:25 AM UTC
I remember saying to you, "I want you SOOO bad!"
I want all your parts, the light and dark, I want you even after so long
even though you're gone I want you
like a kid wants to see Santa on Christmas eve, hoping for a glimpse of the elusive man, not even questioning his validity
I want you like hot fudge on ice cream, the perfect compliment to my frigid self loathing, hot and sweet covering every inch, making me melt, I want you like the bros at the gym want gains
out of this world gains, hard work pays off gains
the protein to your muscle, stronger than the weight on your shoulders, I want you the way a tree buds and grows its leaves into the most lush escape, only to send them off with the most colourful goodbye awaiting their return in the spring, I want you like my dog wants food
and let me tell you one singular thought fixates his mind, and that is eating
I want you like an soft song played on the strings of a perfect evening, while we slow dance in the dark
I want you like an ice cold beer on a hot summer day! the spritz of the cap, bubbling with anticipation, the sweat forming on the bottle dripping down your finger as you touch it to your lips and then,
ahhh pure refreshment, quenching my Sahara thirst
I want you like how green grass, and shrubs and flowers and trees all grow towards the sun, innately seeking the heat source of life, the very sustenance that keeps them alive, I want you
like the air
all around me, I wanna feel you permeate every cell in my body, wanna feel you expand my lungs, and pump my heart, fire neurons in my brain sending electric signals to every muscle tingling my nerves
I want you like the first snowfall
magical and nostalgic, cozy and beautiful
I want you the way I wanna write poetry that saves lives, the way I want the words to build themselves with every pen stroke and speak to you, I want you the way no one has ever wanted me
worth the effort, if you would just try to see I could build a universe around us, so we would have our own stars that shine for our eyes only, and we would never miss a chance to watch the beauty of our stars crossing the sky,
I want you with feelings, and that uncomfortable "communicating" thing that I do so well for a living but struggle to do with you, I want you raw and exposed
our souls bared, a connection even fully clothed, I want you so bad
was all that I could muster under that gin soaked cloak of bravery
I should have said, that all I really wanted
was for you to want me too
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 3:23 PM UTC
Does it make you wonder,
Just what's the ******* point?
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 21, 2015 at 3:01 PM UTC
All those breadcrumb pieces of my heart I'd hoped you would use to follow your way back, lay rotting along side the stagnant words you left behind with me
I doubt you would find your way home, even if you wanted to but,
I have no more of myself to send with you when you leave again
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 21, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC