i keep forgetting the pain is permanent
that i will not walk a day without pain
not in the physical sense
but my mind has been compromised
but trauma repeated
pain that you can barely see
but stays in the forefront
a pain so debilitating i ask myself
how am i still here
how many weeks, days, hours
will be spent in unrelenting pain
pain so real i feel it in my chest
breaking my heart and choking me
some days i feel like i can survive this
i am more than my diagnosis
the grocery list of them
just for the pain to hit me, pain so sharp
it cuts so deep and there is no escape
i expect it but it hurts no less
steals my breath and bones
gripping my heart like a vise
and there is no relief
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 4:22 PM UTC
i keep forgetting the pain is permanent
that i will not walk a day without pain
not in the physical sense
but my mind has been compromised
but trauma repeated
pain that you can barely see
but stays in the forefront
a pain so debilitating i ask myself
how am i still here
how many weeks, days, hours
will be spent in unrelenting pain
pain so real i feel it in my chest
breaking my heart and choking me
some days i feel like i can survive this
i am more than my diagnosis
the grocery list of them
just for the pain to hit me, pain so sharp
it cuts so deep and there is no escape
i expect it but it hurts no less
steals my breath and bones
gripping my heart like a vise
and there is no relief
