it's real; comfort.... a subscription that i can not afford; loneliness..a disease for sure; there's figurative invisble holes in my head and in my chest that can't be ignored;
but they tell us.... therapy.... medicate.... continue to endure.... some say get a "job" while your at it.... forget the fact that the suffering will indeed increase-til a likely early decease;
they say, teach yourself not to wear your heart on your sleeve; no matter how i wear or contain my heart....the **** still feels and bleeds; my mind is so out of the "game".... burnout....
now adays i'm just trying to breathe deep as if my lungs have been traumatized like a "survivor " from a place on fire; sleeping my days away....from what i see-living costs an arm and a leg.... i'm on "life support" wanting to be unplugged from this machine....
i wish they'd just let me die "gracefully"....instead of so much wasted time.... what a ******* nightmare....i'm ******* empty....rules are rules....
some rules were made to be broken..when it comes to being forced to hold on to nothing....the doctors, close circles....hands are tied....and they all refuse to see.... that thing called suicide feels like an inevitability....
*** am i here? *** am i doing? why block the exit, instead of safely aiding me towards that direction?...shutting it all down....but instead existing feeling empty as **** is the only alternative for ppl like me....
Apr 5
Apr 5, 2026 at 1:56 AM UTC
it's real; comfort.... a subscription that i can not afford; loneliness..a disease for sure; there's figurative invisble holes in my head and in my chest that can't be ignored;
but they tell us.... therapy.... medicate.... continue to endure.... some say get a "job" while your at it.... forget the fact that the suffering will indeed increase-til a likely early decease;
they say, teach yourself not to wear your heart on your sleeve; no matter how i wear or contain my heart....the **** still feels and bleeds; my mind is so out of the "game".... burnout....
now adays i'm just trying to breathe deep as if my lungs have been traumatized like a "survivor " from a place on fire; sleeping my days away....from what i see-living costs an arm and a leg.... i'm on "life support" wanting to be unplugged from this machine....
i wish they'd just let me die "gracefully"....instead of so much wasted time.... what a ******* nightmare....i'm ******* empty....rules are rules....
some rules were made to be broken..when it comes to being forced to hold on to nothing....the doctors, close circles....hands are tied....and they all refuse to see.... that thing called suicide feels like an inevitability....
*** am i here? *** am i doing? why block the exit, instead of safely aiding me towards that direction?...shutting it all down....but instead existing feeling empty as **** is the only alternative for ppl like me....
