Heard this one line
"People who understand the world better are not accepted by it"
I called ********
But with each mistake and harsh lesson,
I'm pushed more
More sharks circle,
Hoping to draw blood
But when they do,
There are only shallow marks
Because I saw it coming
When the sharks were still smiling
And offering me their kindness
I saw where it was going
And they didn't circle me because they chose me
I chose them
I saw the pitying, welcoming smiles and chose them
I chose them to stab me again
So I can learn
And prove it right
That this is the world
That it hurts
But I don't care
I'd rather be alone than lonely with people who wouldn't hesitate to throw me off.
Who would do that **** for free
I can't tell what I'm doing wrong
Is it that I'm being myself?
And unapologetic about it?
Is it because I laugh and jump into reckless **** because life is so short and fragile
Or maybe because in a world full of fakes who cover their flaws,
I swim in a pool of my blood around sharks, daring them to take a bite
Maybe it's because I set boundaries when something isn't right
Maybe it's because I give people feedback, and apparently, they don't like that
Maybe it's because I stay true to myself and refuse to fit in
To become as shallow as they are
Maybe it's cause I speak my mind and act how I want
Maybe it's because they hate that I'm brave
Brave enough and stubborn enough to refuse to give up on ME
Sigh...
I'm back to it again.
Because they may be the sharks that bite me to shreds
And I'd still understand that maybe they were hungry
They went days without food, their stomachs aching and begging to be filled
They'd hurt me
And my first thought is whether they're ok
If they want to talk but don't feel safe doing it
That they only know to release it through raised voices and piercing betrayal
That I wasn't there for them
Or maybe they didn't feel safe with me
Comfortable enough to tell me
To say something!
Or maybe they were comfortable.
In just hurting me
And I can't be mad
Because at least in some way,
I helped release that stress
That by being there for you to shout at and stab,
You feel better
And I'd rather that happen than you stay silent and shut yourself off
And it's ok if you're all happy with hurting me
For stabbing me over and over again
Because I can take it
I knew you'd do it
I know there's a reason
And I know that I'll move on
I'm trying to keep being the nice person
A penance for what I've done
For all the people I hurt
For all the people whom I've lost
Because they would prefer I do that
I'd rather suffer from kindness than hurt remorselessly
And that has been seared into every atom of my being
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 7:52 PM UTC
Heard this one line
"People who understand the world better are not accepted by it"
I called ********
But with each mistake and harsh lesson,
I'm pushed more
More sharks circle,
Hoping to draw blood
But when they do,
There are only shallow marks
Because I saw it coming
When the sharks were still smiling
And offering me their kindness
I saw where it was going
And they didn't circle me because they chose me
I chose them
I saw the pitying, welcoming smiles and chose them
I chose them to stab me again
So I can learn
And prove it right
That this is the world
That it hurts
But I don't care
I'd rather be alone than lonely with people who wouldn't hesitate to throw me off.
Who would do that **** for free
I can't tell what I'm doing wrong
Is it that I'm being myself?
And unapologetic about it?
Is it because I laugh and jump into reckless **** because life is so short and fragile
Or maybe because in a world full of fakes who cover their flaws,
I swim in a pool of my blood around sharks, daring them to take a bite
Maybe it's because I set boundaries when something isn't right
Maybe it's because I give people feedback, and apparently, they don't like that
Maybe it's because I stay true to myself and refuse to fit in
To become as shallow as they are
Maybe it's cause I speak my mind and act how I want
Maybe it's because they hate that I'm brave
Brave enough and stubborn enough to refuse to give up on ME
Sigh...
I'm back to it again.
Because they may be the sharks that bite me to shreds
And I'd still understand that maybe they were hungry
They went days without food, their stomachs aching and begging to be filled
They'd hurt me
And my first thought is whether they're ok
If they want to talk but don't feel safe doing it
That they only know to release it through raised voices and piercing betrayal
That I wasn't there for them
Or maybe they didn't feel safe with me
Comfortable enough to tell me
To say something!
Or maybe they were comfortable.
In just hurting me
And I can't be mad
Because at least in some way,
I helped release that stress
That by being there for you to shout at and stab,
You feel better
And I'd rather that happen than you stay silent and shut yourself off
And it's ok if you're all happy with hurting me
For stabbing me over and over again
Because I can take it
I knew you'd do it
I know there's a reason
And I know that I'll move on
I'm trying to keep being the nice person
A penance for what I've done
For all the people I hurt
For all the people whom I've lost
Because they would prefer I do that
I'd rather suffer from kindness than hurt remorselessly
And that has been seared into every atom of my being
How life currently feels at 16
Note to self:
Started writing at around 11 and finished just before 12 (04/10)
