- for the lake girl who is -
- learning to read the tide-
------------------------------------------------------------
When you've settled
for being wet
long enough—
the deep water
starts to look
like somewhere to go.
I know exactly
where my edges are.
I have mistaken that
for knowing myself.
A cage
also has
well-defined edges.
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Ice Queen."
"Scaredy cat."
"Control freak."
"Overly cautious."
All of those
are dresses
worn by something younger—
something that needed protection
before it had the words
to ask for it.
I see you.
I have been you.
------------------------------------------------------------
The choice
is always between
the pool
and the ocean.
Contained: safe
Great expanse: alarming
There is no third option.
Only how much unknown
you can tolerate
today.
------------------------------------------------------------
The anxious you
that needed assurance
and didn't know
how to name the need.
The avoidant you
that learned to refuse
the unknown
and called it
refusing the unwanted.
They are not
the same thing.
That distinction
is where you begin.
--------------------------------------------------------
Not a place to arrive.
A process to absorb.
Some days
you walk in
to your knees.
That counts.
Mar 11
Mar 11, 2026 at 8:45 PM UTC
- for the lake girl who is -
- learning to read the tide-
------------------------------------------------------------
When you've settled
for being wet
long enough—
the deep water
starts to look
like somewhere to go.
I know exactly
where my edges are.
I have mistaken that
for knowing myself.
A cage
also has
well-defined edges.
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Ice Queen."
"Scaredy cat."
"Control freak."
"Overly cautious."
All of those
are dresses
worn by something younger—
something that needed protection
before it had the words
to ask for it.
I see you.
I have been you.
------------------------------------------------------------
The choice
is always between
the pool
and the ocean.
Contained: safe
Great expanse: alarming
There is no third option.
Only how much unknown
you can tolerate
today.
------------------------------------------------------------
The anxious you
that needed assurance
and didn't know
how to name the need.
The avoidant you
that learned to refuse
the unknown
and called it
refusing the unwanted.
They are not
the same thing.
That distinction
is where you begin.
--------------------------------------------------------
Not a place to arrive.
A process to absorb.
Some days
you walk in
to your knees.
That counts.
