the ballot is back,
and for the first time,
it’s not a "no-decision."
it’s a box I didn’t
know how to carry,
but somehow,
we’re moving trophies together.
🏆 leans against the wall,
calling her what she is—
a district-wide punchline,
a "cookie" that’s been sampled by
every boy with a ballot and
a lack of taste
"You can just say she’s a whore,"
and for a second,
the clinical walls of this chamber feel
like they’re finally cracking.
🏆 sees the joke for the punchline it is, while
🥭 is out there
buying a boutonniere for a girl who
treats a **** salute like a casual Friday.
🏆 doesn’t hide behind the word "obligation."
he hides behind apathy and
teasing until i’m
just a girl apologizing for not carrying
the weight—not realizing he’s been
trying to carry it for me all along.
i’m standing in the middle of the floor, and I’ve lost my flow
i thought i wanted the orange from
the boy with sticky fingers who chose the *****
but now I’m looking at the boy with the legal pad who’s
too terrified to choose anything at all.
🏆 isn’t a placeholder I’m using;
he’s just a no-decision that refuses to resolve
he sits at the judges' table and
calls her a ***** with one breath,
then stares at his flow with the next—
too paralyzed by his own framework
to actually sign the ballot.
one is loyal to a mistake,
and the other is loyal to a legal pad
it’s a double-loss, and I’m the only one
left standing on the flow.
🏆 has his own "shoulds" sitting at home.
a girlfriend who is a line on a legal pad,
a pro-con list that feels like
a cross-examination I didn't ask to join.
he says it’s platonic, but in this league,
we know that every word is a tactic
until the final round.
🏆’s weighing impacts to see who gives him
more speaker points, but I’m not
a round to be won-
i’m the girl who held him when he cried
because i was the only one standing here-
now he sees that ballot as a debt,
and he's checking how much prep he has left.
i’m looking at 🥭 and seeing
the "obligation,"
the "maybe,"
the girl who is a snack the whole district has sampled
—and I feel gross.
i don’t even need to say the word,
because 🏆 already said it for me
it’s a strange kind of whiplash—
hearing him call her that with
so much certainty, only to watch him hesitate
over a three-month-old letter.
like he thinks that if he just ruins her,
i'll have nowhere to run but him.
meanwhile, the boy I actually want
stays busy upholding a contract
with a girl who is nothing but
bad evidence,
choosing a six-month-old word
over the person standing right in front of him.
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 6:02 PM UTC
the ballot is back,
and for the first time,
it’s not a "no-decision."
it’s a box I didn’t
know how to carry,
but somehow,
we’re moving trophies together.
🏆 leans against the wall,
calling her what she is—
a district-wide punchline,
a "cookie" that’s been sampled by
every boy with a ballot and
a lack of taste
"You can just say she’s a whore,"
and for a second,
the clinical walls of this chamber feel
like they’re finally cracking.
🏆 sees the joke for the punchline it is, while
🥭 is out there
buying a boutonniere for a girl who
treats a **** salute like a casual Friday.
🏆 doesn’t hide behind the word "obligation."
he hides behind apathy and
teasing until i’m
just a girl apologizing for not carrying
the weight—not realizing he’s been
trying to carry it for me all along.
i’m standing in the middle of the floor, and I’ve lost my flow
i thought i wanted the orange from
the boy with sticky fingers who chose the *****
but now I’m looking at the boy with the legal pad who’s
too terrified to choose anything at all.
🏆 isn’t a placeholder I’m using;
he’s just a no-decision that refuses to resolve
he sits at the judges' table and
calls her a ***** with one breath,
then stares at his flow with the next—
too paralyzed by his own framework
to actually sign the ballot.
one is loyal to a mistake,
and the other is loyal to a legal pad
it’s a double-loss, and I’m the only one
left standing on the flow.
🏆 has his own "shoulds" sitting at home.
a girlfriend who is a line on a legal pad,
a pro-con list that feels like
a cross-examination I didn't ask to join.
he says it’s platonic, but in this league,
we know that every word is a tactic
until the final round.
🏆’s weighing impacts to see who gives him
more speaker points, but I’m not
a round to be won-
i’m the girl who held him when he cried
because i was the only one standing here-
now he sees that ballot as a debt,
and he's checking how much prep he has left.
i’m looking at 🥭 and seeing
the "obligation,"
the "maybe,"
the girl who is a snack the whole district has sampled
—and I feel gross.
i don’t even need to say the word,
because 🏆 already said it for me
it’s a strange kind of whiplash—
hearing him call her that with
so much certainty, only to watch him hesitate
over a three-month-old letter.
like he thinks that if he just ruins her,
i'll have nowhere to run but him.
meanwhile, the boy I actually want
stays busy upholding a contract
with a girl who is nothing but
bad evidence,
choosing a six-month-old word
over the person standing right in front of him.
