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nitaannPoems
Withdrawn and disconnected... From everyone and everything. I think I need a break... I just don't think there is help for any of this right now. Deep inside of me there is this yearning- this deep sadness. And I have once again withdrawn inside myself. I feel confused...the person I went to for help can't help me either. Nobody understands me. Hopeless! I'm overtaken by hurt, and pain. And I am now sinking into the darkness-the bad place. Inside my soul is this realm of darkness, The endless horror, the familiar hopelessness. Tonight I hate all of NitaAnn! No hope for NitaAnn… Just smile and pretend everything is okay. What's the effing point - it's all a big facade... They pretend to care and pretend to listen. I pretend I'm not the most ****** up woman on the face of the earth! We all know none of that is true! The jig is up! I fold...and walk away... Find a new ****** up person you can 'pretend' to care about! Because as we know... "in the face of expected abandonment -don't you dare reach out - make another choice!" I will, DT, don't worry...I will...nobody cares...whatever! I am FINISHED! OH, I'm making a different choice, DT, thanks for the advice!
0
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
Withdrawn and Disconnected
Withdrawn and disconnected... From everyone and everything. I think I need a break... I just don't think there is help for any of this right now. Deep inside of me there is this yearning- this deep sadness. And I have once again withdrawn inside myself. I feel confused...the person I went to for help can't help me either. Nobody understands me. Hopeless! I'm overtaken by hurt, and pain. And I am now sinking into the darkness-the bad place. Inside my soul is this realm of darkness, The endless horror, the familiar hopelessness. Tonight I hate all of NitaAnn! No hope for NitaAnn… Just smile and pretend everything is okay. What's the effing point - it's all a big facade... They pretend to care and pretend to listen. I pretend I'm not the most ****** up woman on the face of the earth! We all know none of that is true! The jig is up! I fold...and walk away... Find a new ****** up person you can 'pretend' to care about! Because as we know... "in the face of expected abandonment -don't you dare reach out - make another choice!" I will, DT, don't worry...I will...nobody cares...whatever! I am FINISHED! OH, I'm making a different choice, DT, thanks for the advice!
#abuse#abandonment#finished#survivor#disconnected#withdrawn
nitaann
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nitaann
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
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