i don’t have a bruise
not now
but my skin remembers
because once,
it rooted itself there
dark and sudden
from nothing at all
or maybe something small
that shouldn’t have hurt
but did
and since then
i’ve learned
not all pain
leaves a mark
but it lingers
just the same
now i know
that pain doesn’t always
ask permission
and not all wounds
warn you first
but now
i freeze
before hands even reach
before words even fall
like muscle memory
but for fear
and now
i tense
when i shouldn’t
i flinch
before anything happens
i wait
for the hit
even when no one’s swinging
because once,
he came without warning
and now
my body remembers
even when my mind
tries to forget
because once
was enough.
no harm
just shadows
and the ache
of almost
because healing
was never
watching the bruise fade
it was learning
that the skin can clear
and still wince
at nothing
still twitch
at the memory
of blue
still ache
where there is no mark
just learning
how to live
with the fear
of it all
returning
i flinch
at nothing
because once
there was something
and it stayed
i hold still
for what might not come
i tense
for what might not come
because it once did
and that was
enough.
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 1:41 PM UTC
i don’t have a bruise
not now
but my skin remembers
because once,
it rooted itself there
dark and sudden
from nothing at all
or maybe something small
that shouldn’t have hurt
but did
and since then
i’ve learned
not all pain
leaves a mark
but it lingers
just the same
now i know
that pain doesn’t always
ask permission
and not all wounds
warn you first
but now
i freeze
before hands even reach
before words even fall
like muscle memory
but for fear
and now
i tense
when i shouldn’t
i flinch
before anything happens
i wait
for the hit
even when no one’s swinging
because once,
he came without warning
and now
my body remembers
even when my mind
tries to forget
because once
was enough.
no harm
just shadows
and the ache
of almost
because healing
was never
watching the bruise fade
it was learning
that the skin can clear
and still wince
at nothing
still twitch
at the memory
of blue
still ache
where there is no mark
just learning
how to live
with the fear
of it all
returning
i flinch
at nothing
because once
there was something
and it stayed
i hold still
for what might not come
i tense
for what might not come
because it once did
and that was
enough.
how a single event can reshape your relationship with yourself, leaving you forever on guard against a danger that only exists in memory.